Tag Archives: Eurovision

Eurovision Semi Final 1 2011 The Morning After

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So here’s what happened. Mrs Chrisparkle and I had our calorie controlled salad early and then laid out the wine and crisps in expectation of the company of Mrs Chrisparkle’s parents, the Thane of Duncansby and Lady Duncansby. This was to be their first hearing of any of these songs.

All guests duly settled we each had our own BBC score card and chose the ten songs we would “put through” – the Eurovision equivalent of a thumbs up from the Roman Emperor in the Colosseum. Fortunately since last year our area has gone properly digital, so our BBC3 reception was vastly improved, indeed it was actually watchable; unlike last year, when we had to make a heart-wrenching yomp across town to the inlaws’ which caused us to miss the first five songs and induced in me an ugly and unpleasant sulk. Anyway that was last year. This year:

Poland – decent song got pretty much annihilated with a lack of tuneful singing. The Thane and his Lady, Mrs C and I all agreed it wasn’t going through, thus it gets a score of 0/4.

Norway – lively stage presentation and an entertaining song. Still a bit flat in part. (2/4)

Albania – Good performance, the first one where the singer got most of the notes. All agreed she looked pretty scary though, and nobody liked the song much. (0/4)

Armenia – Enjoyed the boxing motif, and Lady Duncansby thought she would easily get down to this in the disco. But it quickly palled as the lyrics-lite took effect. (1/4)

Turkey – The guitars set a new theme and people quite liked it, but in the end there were some much better songs. And the contortionist just didn’t help. (0/4)

Serbia – Lady Duncansby actually does remember dancing to this song in The Cavern before you were born. A good tuneful performance. (2/4)

Russia – Don’t understand that opening sequence at all. Slick act though, and Mrs Chrisparkle confessed to something about “gutter thoughts” when she thought I was out of earshot. (4/4)

Switzerland – Having spent the last 6 months finding this just a bit too twee, Anna comes along with a knockout performance. Lady Duncansby was so taken with this one she almost dropped her Chardonnay. (4/4)

Georgia – A very good performance of a song that has been a favourite in the Chrisparkle household since its first hearing. Mrs C starting to go off it though. (2/4)

Finland – We loved the emerging planet. It didn’t look at all endangered to us. Only the Thane could see in this what others clearly can. (1/4)

Malta – A great performance from “my mate Glen” as we now term him, and the Thane became the second person in the world to like the song too. (2/4)

San Marino – Looked forward to hearing this lovely song. A very static performance though, which reminded Mrs Chrisparkle of someone frightened of tripping a PIR sensor. Shame about the vocals, but we largely gave Senit the benefit of the doubt. (3/4)

Croatia – Not that great a performance. The first dress change was a bit of a cheat with the camera looking away and then coming back to see her changed. Anyone could do that. No one liked it much. (0/4)

Iceland – Went down very well here, and not just because of the backstory. Excellent performance too. (4/4)

Hungary – Heard that rehearsals hadn’t been great, but she certainly pulled out all the stops. The room went into swoons of appreciation. (4/4)

Portugal – Was expecting a more quirky performance and the banners were just boring. As was the rest of it. (0/4)

Lithuania – a good performance of a dull song. References were made to the size of her hips. I’ll say no more (although the word “twins” was mentioned in that context). The Thane was in sole appreciation. (1/4)

Azerbaijan – I didn’t know she was from Enfield, and her enunciation of “nothing” as “nuffing” was a moment of delight. We all thought this would do well. (4/4)

Greece – The rapper was greeted with cries of “don’t like it” from the room, but it was amazing how the appreciation of this song increased when Loukas opened his jacket. Lady Duncansby hastily rejigged her scoring as a result. (4/4)

So three of us got seven out of the ten correct, and one, the Thane himself, got eight – he got the most last year as well if I remember. The five songs we gave 0/4 didn’t qualify, which is quite pleasing in retrospect. Along with many others I am amazed Turkey didn’t qualify, not so amazed at Armenia’s failure as apparently her performance in the jury-watching-rehearsal was dire, and somewhat surprised about Norway although the Stella Mwangi/Kate Ryan allusion had been made elsewhere previously.

My bets on Iceland and Azerbaijan are still safe, and it was a good looking show. Great set. Didn’t think much of the presenters though, and thought the UK commentary varied from just about adequate to ghastly. I understand there were “communication issues” from Düsseldorf which must have been difficult for new presenters to cope with. But cutting from a live Sara Cox to a pre-recorded Sara Cox when the pre-recorded bits were obviously meant to look live seemed very ham-fisted to me. We honestly thought she was under the influence of noxious substances at times, and I thought the little vignette she did about running to the commentary booth was, well, just pathetic.She could also have learned how to pronounce “Mwangi” in advance, just as Scott really ought to have known that the J in “Jestem” is pronounced like a Y. I thought he was going to become a bit of a Euro-basher in the Wogan fashion at first but he did have a few good lines later on. Room for improvement for Thursday!

Eurovision in Concert, Club Air Amsterdam, April 9th 2011

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Amsterdam, Amsterdam, de stad waar alles kan. This was de eerste keer that we’ve been to the Eurovision in Concert show (het is een wonder, I know) and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I’ve been to Amsterdam before, and as a town ‘t is Ok. We had a very nice hotel close to the club so was able to combine seeing the show with some relaxing sightseeing. But you’re not interested in that. You want to know what the performers were like!

Well we started off with Esther Hart giving us Two More Nights, as the first time her microphone wasn’t working properly so in good Eurovision tradition she got to do a reprise. She had two co-hosts, whose names I’m afraid I don’t know but they all kept the thing bouncing along at a good pace.

I can’t recall the order in which the songs were performed but these were the acts I thought performed particularly well – either as good as you would expect or better. I don’t mean to say these are necessarily my favourites or the best hopes for the Eurovision final, but the performances were ace:

Poland
Greece
United Kingdom
Russia
Malta
Austria
Bulgaria

I didn’t see Turkey perform, as I was talking to Glen Vella in the Green Room (more of which later) but my spies tell me they were excellent. I also missed the first half of Latvia, which was a shame as I really like that song, so I don’t feel as though I can comment on how well they performed.

The good news is that I don’t think anyone performed badly. There were a couple of instances where I was surprised that the performer didn’t have as much charisma or stage presence as I was expecting, but it would be churlish of me to name names.

It was clear that many people were there just to see Blue, including plenty of non-Eurovisioners. Unsurprisingly they were the last act on. They performed so well that I thought they must be miming. Having seen a few YouTubes of the event, I think they probably were. They definitely have great presence though, and the enthusiasm for the song was palpable. I think it has a really good chance of doing well.

The Blue guys were only around very briefly after the show, but long enough for Mrs Chrisparkle to get her photograph taken with Simon and Antony. In fact Antony was so taken with Mrs Chrisparkle’s Eurovision Icons Blue T-Shirt that he insisted on the photo being taken, which was quite amusing! Being at the centre of attention like that doesn’t make her feel particularly comfortable. “I’m going to take such stick for this later” she confided to Antony. “I know exactly what you mean!” was his rather self-effacing response.

This wasn’t our only brush with stardom. In order to get a good view of Blue’s performance, we stood on benches at the side back, which was close to the Green Room. When Blue got going there was a rush of activity and a rustling of a green dress and we were joined on our perch by a very enthusiastic Senit from San Marino who was desperate to see them perform! She was cheering and whooping as much as any fan would.

And then of course there was my meeting with Glen Vella from Malta. I was proudly sporting a Eurovision Icons T-Shirt with the Malta image so my friend JP, who is able to do these things, snuck us into the Green Room to show Glen. He was bowled over to see it, and his dancers were amazed too. They all took loads of photos, and even after we had left, Glen called us back in to the Green Room for more photos as the photographer from the Times of Malta had arrived. So I am actually on a photo attached to the official press release for Glen’s performance!

You too could be a proud owner of a Eurovision Icon T-Shirt, either bearing the image of Blue for UK or Jedward for Ireland, and exclusively signed too, as one of each is being auctioned for charity on Ebay at this very moment. Here are the links:

Jedward

Blue

So all in all it was a very jolly affair. Yes one could criticise that the sound quality wasn’t as good as one would have hoped, it was pretty crowded, and you had to pay for your drinks with silly pre-paid card things which inevitably meant you paid for more than you had, but I think everyone had a good time.

Eurovision 2011 – The Grand Final

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So we’ve cogitated and pondered at length over the songs in the two semi finals but we still need to consider the Big Five. Oddschecker.com range of odds as at 5th April.

France – Sognu – Amaury Vassili

Song Sung Corse, every contest needs one. I’m not a popera fan but this is something else. Whether you think of it as an aria or a hymn, its haunting tune stays with you and if ever a song warranted the return of the orchestra, this is the one. The introduction is so Bolero that all it lacks is Torvill and Dean. Not sure we’ve seen him do a live performance of it yet, let’s hope it doesn’t unRavel (geddit?) He is (was) the world’s youngest proper tenor, apparently. Think it’s going to do really well. 9-2 to 11-2

Italy – Madness of Love – Raphael Gualazzi

Well an official Hoorah from me at the welcome return of la Bella Italia to the Eurovision fold. Of course, they already have their world renowned San Remo festival, and they chose the winner of the Newcomers’ Category to go to Düsseldorf. “Follia d’Amore”, in its original state, is taken from his second album. It’s ok. It’s quite nice. It doesn’t shake any trees. It’s a cheeky jazz-lite, the kind of stuff I don’t really like. You might though. 28-1 to 50-1

United Kingdom – I Can – Blue

Let’s start by saying it’s a great improvement on recent years – the strongest UK song for possibly a decade. I have my fingers crossed for the performance but I am concerned about Lee’s vocals. He really has to nail them. I love the “G-G-G-Get back up again, Woh!” motif. They’ve done a lot more homework than many previous UK entries and are promoting themselves round the continent, although it was a shame they couldn’t sing the song in the early days of their travels. I trust they will keep their kit on when they’re on stage. Modestly optimistic. 5-1 to 9-1

Germany – Taken by a Stranger – Lena

So was it wise for Lena to defend her title? This is a good song but it’s introverted and private. It doesn’t have the same immediate impact as Satellite, needing several plays to grow on you, and I think it will struggle to make the top ten. The lyrics are somewhere between weird and oblique and you can’t identify with them. No doubt she’ll give a stylish performance though. 8-1 to 12-1

Spain – Que me quiten lo bailao – Lucia Perez

This is a jolly party song, but a bit on the slight side. Probably more woh’s than it needs. Nobody can take away the good times Lucia’s had and why would you want to. She’s probably a hoot in the Plaza Major at midnight. I just think it’s going to come across a bit lightweight on the night. 50-1 to 200-1

So that’s all the songs run through. I’m perfectly happy with the standard this year, there are some pretty good ones there and lurking behind in National Finals land.

And who do I think will join them from the Semis? OK my stabs at premonition are as follows:

In alphabetical order:

Semi Final One – Armenia, Azerbaijan, Croatia, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Poland, Russia, Serbia, Turkey.

Semi Final Two – Bosnia, Denmark, Estonia, Ireland, Israel, FYR Macedonia, Romania, Slovenia, Sweden, Ukraine.

Next step in the Eurovision pre-season is the Eurovision in Concert show being held in Amsterdam on Saturday 9th April. More Eurovision blogging after that event.

Eurovision 2011 – Semi Final Two

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Barely two days after the rigours of Semi Final One we return fresh-faced and expectant at the Fortuna arena for more delights. Let’s go through them again one by one in order, together with the largely pointless range of betting possibilities, brought to you by oddschecker.com correct as at 31 March.

Bosnia Herzegovina – Dino Merlin – Love in Rewind

Dino’s a big star in downtown Sarajevo, and has an excellent Eurovision record as being writer of Sva Bol Svjeta and singing half of Putnici (not sure if he was Put or Nici though). Is this another notch on his bedpost or a blotch on his escutcheon? A notch I think. He looks like he could be a contemporary of the original Merlin, and their performance appears to have been choreographed for a completely different song. I feel it lacks something somewhere – I wonder if in a few months he’ll discover a few missing odd notes that fell down the back of the sofa. 8-1 to 14-1

Austria – Nadine Beiler – The Secret is Love

The first few notes make you think you’re in Whitney Houston I Will Always Love You mode, but actually it’s not quite as disastrous as that. When the song can be finally arsed to get going, it’s not a bad tune, but it’s very heavy going, more posing than imposing, and it does get on my nerves by the end. She’s had a couple of top ten hits in Austria and is a TV talent show star. Her hairstylist is obviously a fan of Aneka’s “Japanese Boy”. 33-1 to 50-1

Netherlands – 3J’s – Never Alone

It’s a middle of the road, guitarry, plaintive, serious-ish song which is pleasant in parts. It’s the kind of song you know you ought to appreciate because they doubtless put a lot of hard work into it. However, it’s got none of the attack of the Lovebugs and their Highest Heights of a couple of years ago, and we know what happened to them. I find it very difficult to take seriously a song with the lyrics “there are golden gardens at the sweet end of your trail”. 66-1 to 200-1

Belgium – Witloof Bay – With Love Baby

No, it’s not the return of the Flying Pickets – no such luck. When does acapella become simple showing-off? At about 1:40 on the accompanying youtube, when the admittedly skilful but tiresome singing is interrupted by a jerk with oral explosions. It’s the kind of noise a six year old makes when playing with guns. If you have to listen all the way through, (not recommended) you can enjoy mild diversion by pretending they’re singing “White Loaf” instead. 50-1 to 300-1

Slovakia – Twiins – I’m Still Alive

Another song that fails to live up to the promise of its first fifteen seconds. And what’s with the “ii” in “Twiins”? Are they specifically targeting the Finnish market? It’s vacuous lowest-common-denominator Atomic Kitten/ All Saints/ Girls Aloud soundalike stuff, that goes nowhere and takes ages not getting there. The Twiins were backing singers for Tereza Kerndlová when she had some fun in 2008. Didn’t like that much either. 40-1 to 100-1

Ukraine – Mika Newton – Angel

Fresh from a selection process that Mugabe would have been proud of, the upshot isn’t a bad song from Mika Newton. She’s got quite a nice voice, quite a pretty face, and it’s quite an enjoyable tune, even if it doesn’t linger in the brain too long afterwards. She’s an Avril Lavigne-type rock chick who came to prominence during the Orange Revolution and I expect we’ll see her in Düsseldorf on Saturday night. 25-1 to 100-1

Moldova – Zdob si Zdub – So Lucky

I was quite pleased when I realised the Zdobs were back in town, as Boonika had a certain charm about her – for me it succeeded where the Babushki of last year’s Russian National Final totally failed. However, then they presented us with “So Lucky”. Three different tunes with no apparent dovetailing to unify them into one song. None of the three tunes makes for enjoyable listening. It’s all very raucous for raucous’ sake. I guess it has an element of anarchy but that dream in our hearts that one day we will all meet in Chisinau seems even further away. 40-1 to 125-1

Sweden – Eric Saade – Popular

A slick act and a creative musical arrangement make this a memorable performance, but I do have problems with it. Much has been made of the apparent rip-off of the drum opening to “Rasputin” and frankly they’re guilty as charged. The rhyme of possible with impossible is unforgivable – yes it rhymes, but you might as well have “I’m not going to Kings Cross Station, I’m going to Euston Station”. (It just about scans). The man likes a gimmick and I understand he is single-handedly responsible for rescuing the glaziers of Stockholm from recession. I predict Sweden’s best result for years. (Bold, aren’t I?) 8-1 to 12-1

Cyprus – Christos Mylordos – San Aggelos S’Asapisa

Words fail me, it’s so boring. It’s so boring it makes me angry. With any luck you might drift off before he starts singing. If you don’t, you might care to notice that the chorus appears to have no lyrics. But who cares. 40-1 to 300-1

Bulgaria – Poli Genova – Na Inat

Disappointed to discover that “na inat” doesn’t translate as “nah, innit” but as the more prosaic “for spite”, and having read the lyrics I now understand why she sounds as miffed as she does. I don’t mind this. It’s got a bit of attack, and the tune is ok. You’d be nervous if you bumped into her in a dark alley, mind. Ends very suddenly. I think they just ran out of minutes. 80-1 to 200-1

FYR Macedonia – Vlatko Ilievski – Rusinka

One of those rare occasions where Mrs Chrisparkle and I completely agree on a Eurovision song. We both think this is pretty ace. It’s fast moving, jolly, unpretentious Russkipop, the age-old story of “we don’t speak each other’s language” and with an amusing nod to Kalinka to boot. Check out the video to see the two least convincing Russian dancers within 50 miles of Skopje. I hope it gets through to Saturday night, but I fear it won’t. 100-1 to 300-1

Israel – Dana International – Ding Dong

And here’s a classic example of where we don’t agree – the return of Ms International. How well we remember her feathers flapping in Birmingham all those years ago – but that was then and this is now. Mrs Chrisparkle can’t get past the first “Ding Dong” without reaching for the mute. DI’s voice continues to be on the tentative side of weak; the English words of the song verge on the risible; and yet, you know, I really like this! The tune just carries me away. Wouldn’t it be fun if just once Dana International sang the “Ding Dong” bit in the style of Leslie Phillips? 25-1 to 100-1

Slovenia – Maja Keuc – No One

Written by the same creative team who wrote “Energy” and “Mr Nobody”, and one of the co-writers of “Stop”. You wouldn’t credit it, would you? I think it’s a lot of caterwauling over nothing. 33-1 to 50-1

Romania – Hotel FM – Change

One of the UK’s “satellite” entries as the boy David Bryan is originally from Newton Aycliffe. As soon as the plinky plonky pub piano starts up it’s instantly appealing, with its nice tune and singalong easy to follow lyrics. Romania have come close in recent years and I think this has got to be in with a good chance. Just don’t mention the webcam. 25-1 to 100-1

Estonia – Getter Jaani – Rockefeller Street

Already a fan favourite, here we go with another strong song, a punchy tune and performance with a memorable hook. But is there any significance to the “1273” or would any old number have done? A quick spot of research reveals there’s no such address. Pity. Still I like it. I kind of wish it didn’t have that quieter slower sequence in the middle. You’re going to be hanging around like a lemon at the Eurovision disco during that bit. Sure to qualify though. First mention of diamonds and pearls of the evening. 5-1 to 13-2

Belarus – Anastasiya Vinnikova – I Love Belarus

If you can’t get quicker than a Kwik Fit Fitter, you can’t get camper than a Belarussian Eurovision song, which is another of life’s little ironies. I can’t help but think the lovely Anastasiya will belt out her paean of her nation on Thursday night and millions of people all round Europe will just roll their eyes and say “yeah, right”. The song couldn’t be Russkier, and there’s a lot of fun to be had with it, but I think at the end of the evening Anastasiya will be getting into her Trabbie and toodling off back to Minsk. 66-1 to 200-1

Latvia – Musiqq – Angel in Disguise

Another example of where Mrs Chrisparkle and I seem to be completely out of kilter with the rest of Europe, in that we really like this one too. Sensually alliterative lyrics, a thoughtful arrangement, it’s kind of softly contemporary if you get my drift. These two guys have been together for a couple of years now and have had a few hits in the Latvian charts. I don’t mind the rap section but it does go on too long. Must remind them how to spell “Music” some time. 66-1 to 150-1

Denmark – A Friend in London – New Tomorrow

A bit boring to watch, but very anthemic; could be the dark horse, if they put lots of 50p’s in the meter and they’ve still got a packet of the Olsen Brothers’ fireworks left. It’s a comfortably unchallenging feelgood song, the musical equivalent of a favourite warm old cardy. Andreas Johnson must be furious. Second mention of diamonds and pearls of the evening. 14-1 to 22-1

Ireland – Jedward – Lipstick

And finally, a subtle way to wind up the evening. Hair styled by Edvard Munch, John and Edward cavort and vocalise their way through the routine with all the musicality of Janet Street-Porter. The song is disgustingly catchy but I think it’s going be way off radar of everyone east of Ostend. Definite 12 points from the UK if it gets to the final. 20-1 to 40-1

So I’m going to have a lie down in a darkened room now and will be back soon with the five finalists plus the songs I think will join them on the Saturday night. Thanks for reading!

Eurovision 2011 – Semi Final One

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So having whetted your appetite (hopefully) with some gems that didn’t make it, let’s take a look at the songs on offer in Semi Final One which will take place on May 10th. I’m going to take them in order of appearance. Range of odds courtesy of oddschecker.com as at 30th March; some very wide ranges which just goes to show how difficult it can be to predict!

Poland – Jestem – Magdalena Tul

Let’s start with a difficult one then. On the Yahoo group where I contribute and/or lurk, depending on my mood, when this song was announced there was much whooping and delight. And I think it’s perfectly all right. It’s one of those songs which is very hard to remember a few minutes after you’ve heard it, which is not an advantage when you’re performing first. It’s extremely nice, and not at all offensive. Possibly a bit repetitive. I can’t really sell it to you any more. 20-1 to 66-1

Norway – Haba Haba – Stella Mwangi

The Lion King mixed with a little Coco-Dance gives us this first ever Swahili chorus in Eurovision. Stella’s hugely popular back home and for a while at least kept Lady Gaga off the Number one slot on the I-Tunes chart with this happy sound. The trouble with it, as Mrs Chrisparkle will testify, is whilst the chorus is an escapist chant of charming nonsense, the verse seems to be a bit uncomfortable in Stella’s range and she sounds a bit off-key and strained. I still like it lots. 6-1 to 14-1

Albania – Aurela Gace – Feel the Passion

I’m not normally a fan of Albania’s songs, finding them a bit shouty and over dramatic. This is possibly one of their better efforts, being slightly less shouty and over dramatic than usual. But not much. To commend it, it’s quite a strong tune, but I could probably do with a little less of Aurela’s passion, if I’m honest. They choose the Albanian song at the Festival i Kenges, which always sounds to me like a convention for building site equipment fans. 50-1 to 150-1

Armenia – Emmy – Boom Boom

Not the Boom Boom of Basil Brush, nor of Mabel (Denmark 1978) but a pop-lite offering from Emmy who came second to Eva Rivas in Armenia’s national final last year. You think you’re going to like this at first, but then a couple of Boom Boom Chucka Chuckas later and you’re reaching for the eject button. Its contribution to the philosophic search for the understanding of true love is gossamer thin. Even the Armenians don’t like this. 25-1 to 150-1

Turkey -Yüksek Sadakat – Live It Up

Regrettably not the “Live it up” from 1980s Aussie group Mental as Anything, but scoopings off the cutting floor of The Kinks’ “All Day and All of the Night”. It’s not bad, but it should be a bit more purposeful than it is. If they have a strong live act on the Düsseldorf stage and with complimentary lighting and staging it could do pretty well. 18-1 to 80-1

Serbia – Nina – Čaroban

A full-on 60s pastiche presentation of this song at the Serbian national final certainly helped this otherwise slightly heavy-handed pop song. Disappointingly, Čaroban doesn’t seem to be about a trip by charabanc but some guy she thinks is “magical”. A good performance of this and I’m sure it will get through to the final. 40-1 to 100-1

Russia – Alex Sparrow – Get You

Alexey Vorobyov has been anglicised into the chirpier sounding Alex Sparrow to sing this undemanding piece of pop. Its writers include the team behind Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. It’s perfectly nice but terribly simple and shallow. I want it go somewhere else but it never gets there. By this stage of the evening we really need something earth-shattering to give the evening a boot up the backside. 10-1 to 22-1

Switzerland – Anna Rossinelli – In Love for a While

And this isn’t it. If Russia’s song is perfectly nice, this is “incredibly pleasant”. It’s so laid back it almost falls over. Initially you think this is another song that will move onto a higher plane about one minute in, but I’m afraid it stays in the departure lounge. Given Switzerland’s lack of neighbourly voters, I don’t think we’ll be seeing it on Saturday night. 25-1 to 100-1

Georgia – Eldrine – One More Day

A more contemporary sound from Georgia and my favourite entry of theirs to date, although I realise not many people agree with me. I hope it gets through to Saturday night, but I think it’s borderline. 33-1 to 100-1

Finland – Paradise Oskar – Da Da Dam

Well now, here’s a thing. A little song with a guy on a guitar singing about a cute kid who gets angsted by his teacher talking about “the world’s going to end”. I can’t decide whether this is a charmingly innocent song with a valuable ecological message, or whether it’s nauseating drivel. “Peter is smart, he knows his European countries by heart” makes Mrs Chrisparkle want to puke. Paradise Oskar’s name comes from a children’s book, his real name is Axel Ehnström, and he wrote Da da dam himself. I have a sneaking suspicion that the chorus of “da da dam, da da dam, da da da da da da da da da” could be a bit lyrically challenged for the good burghers of Europe. 14-1 to 50-1

Malta – Glen Vella – One Life

25 songs in Malta were whittled down over two nights and Glen Vella was the last man standing. I don’t think it’s the strongest song but he always puts in an infectious enthusiastic performance and if it gets through to Saturday night it will probably be due to his charisma (not to mention colour sense). 66-1 to 400-1

San Marino – Senit – Stand By

San Marino returns with Senit, whose voice reminds me of Sporty Spice Mel C. It’s a rather lovely heartfelt ballad and I admit I’m hooked on it. There probably aren’t many Eurovision artists of Eritrean heritage, so I expect that’s a first. Sadly I think it’s unlikely to trouble the televoters too much on Saturday if it gets there. 80-1 to 300-1

Croatia – Daria Kinzer – Celebrate

From “Lahor” to “Break a Leg” and now “Celebrate”, this tune gets stronger (the composer wrote the theme to the Croatian version of “Big Brother”) but the lyrics get weaker. Daria Kinzer’s a great singer though and this stands out as being one of the better entries in this Semi. There’s something of the early Celine Dion to her looks, and I expect this to be there on Saturday. 50-1 to 250-1

Iceland – Sjonni’s Friends – Coming Home

Surely when the televoters of Europe hear the story of Sjonni Brink’s death shortly before he was due to perform this song in the Icelandic National Final, there’s going to be a wave of sympathetic phone calls heading for Reykjavik. We will of course never know if this song would have beaten other strong contenders if he hadn’t died. It is, in any event, an upbeat, happy singalong song, with a nice arrangement and confident vocals and I think it will do surprisingly well. 20-1 to 200-1

Hungary – Wolf Kati – What about my dreams

Not sure if she’s decided to be Wolf Kati or Kati Wolf, but this is Hungary’s strongest song since their debut entry. She’s a statuesque lady with a great voice and I’m sure it will do very well. Not much more to say really. 14-1 to 20-1

Portugal – Homens da luta – Luta e alegria

The Portuguese protest song, much criticised for its rowdy style, rather rude performers and general all round thuggishness. Additionally it prevented some rather more genteel and entertaining songs from winning. But you know, in my heart of hearts, I like this. It has a very infectious tune, and the whole performance is reminiscent of a bunch of down-on-heels singing together to keep their spirits up, a kind of Portuguese Jarrow march. It hasn’t a hope in hell, especially if the EU bail Portugal out with cash some time before May 10th. 80-1 to 500-1

Lithuania – Evelina Saŝenko – C’est ma vie

A big ballad that sounds like it should be from a cheesy Disney production and is unfortunately the ultimate in snoozefest. 100-1 to 200-1

Azerbaijan – Ell and Nikki – Running Scared

Another contemporary song from the Drip Drop stable, and surely in contention for a high place in the final knockings. Simple but effective lyrics and a memorable musical hook. 9-1 to 16-1

Greece – Loukas Giorkas feat. Stereo Mike – Watch My Dance

A mixture of styles, dramatic Greek with rap, like Alex Panayi meets Eminem. For me it’s a total failure, but Mrs Chrisparkle likes it. There’s no accounting for taste. Remember Cyprus and Greece can’t vote for each other in the semis. 25-1 to 125-1

Comments on the Semi Final Two songs tomorrow, with any luck!

Eurovision 2011 – the ones that got away

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It’s about time I put font to Word and put on record a few thoughts about this year’s Eurovision. I think it’s going to be a good one! What is particularly impressing me this year is the number of memorable tunes scattered throughout Europe that have risen to the top of the milk, making it much more Full Channel Island than Tesco Value Skimmed (if it exists.) Not all the performances are great, and some of the lyrics are banal; but the composers have been doing a damn fine job this year.

But before I take you through the contest and introduce you to the pleasures that await in May, I’m first going to give an honourable mention to some songs that fell by the wayside en route to Düsseldorf. It’s important to recognise the really enjoyable songs that didn’t make it through their National Finals because they can otherwise quickly get forgotten about. And that would be a tragedy. No, it would.

So I’m going to start off with Romania, who chose very early this year, well very late last year to be precise, and a song that I listened to several times in January much to the disappointment of Mrs Chrisparkle, who “quite liked it”. It’s Leticia with “Dreaming of you”, which came 6th in their National Final on New Year’s Eve. It’s simple, plaintive and charming.

Moving a little sideways to Romania’s neighbour and close partner in the voting stakes, Moldova. Whereas I think the song that has been chosen for Moldova this year is execrable, the song that came 6th (again) is a great little number, full of Balkan Promise. It’s Break It Up by Boris Covali and Cristina Croitoru.

Back towards the Mediterranean in Greece they had a very odd National Final, with the performers in one studio and the audience in another. Maybe this contributed to their choosing one of I think the worse Greek entries for years, and missing this little gem, the only one in the final that was sung in Greek, Hamogela by Trimitonio. I think it may have come last.

In Ukraine they overlooked what could be one of the biggest smashes in years, the extraordinary Jamala, with her song Shine. The Ukrainian decision making process where it comes to Eurovision is one of the most flawed in humanity. Let’s hope they never go for their ISO 9000. Jamela’s voice is something of an acquired taste but this song cannot fail to make you do precisely what the title is all about.

Moving north, in Latvia, I think they chose a terrific song to go to Germany, but it means this wonderful song had to come second – Banjo Laura by Lauris Reiniks. Cute video too.

Ending up in Sweden, there’s all sorts of songs that would have been worthy winners. I think Sanna Nielsen’s I’m in Love is my favourite:

But I’m growing very fond of Swingfly’s Me and My Drum:

and the ultimate in schlager, Jenny Silver and Something in your Eyes:

There are other great songs from around Europe, but I don’t want to lose your attention. I’ll be deliberating Semi Final One soon.

Midweek Eurovision

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Well as usual I am behind with my theatrical posts but here we are on Semi Final 2 Day for this year’s Eurovision! Excitement tingles the spine, only tempered by the memory of the appalling BBC3 reception we suffered on Tuesday night, thus having to decamp to the inlaws to watch it and thereby missing the first four songs. This reception lark had better improve or else we will be driven back to the welcoming wallet I mean arms of Sky Heaven Help Us All.

Tuesday night’s show was highly entertaining though. Tom for Belgium and Hera for Iceland were on excellent form and deservedly went through. Thea for Malta performed wonderfully well but the song is a snoozefest and she wasn’t helped by Big Bird. Similarly Poland’s song was destroyed by what frankly appeared to be Marcin’s overtures to a sexual assault on his poor backing dancer. And as for Russia… well I know it’s meant to be tongue in cheek humorous, but even after a friend explained it in great detail, I still don’t get the joke.

Anyway, really excited about tonight as we have Jon for Cyprus who lives in Wales and Niamh for Ireland who lives in Northern Ireland, thus we have at least two UK representatives tonight! I have to say I like both their songs very much and think they will do themselves proud, I will be very surprised if they don’t qualify – watch this space.“It’s for you” for Ireland is particularly satisfying. On the other hand when I try to think of “Life Could be Better in Spring” I realise I am actually remembering the Belgian song.

It kind of grieves me to say it but the Dutch entry is growing on me.Sieneke sings a daft song but the barrel organ background is strangely uplifting. I am also looking forward to seeing the Romanian dual piano go up in flames, whether Safura will trip down the stairs, what’s going to grow out of an Armenian apricot stone and wondering whether Marks will stock a range of Lithuanian underpants. Only in Eurovision!

UK Eurovision Preview Party Sunday May 2nd, Shadow Lounge, Soho

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Surnames removed to protect the innocent.

So Mrs Chrisparkle and I had a quick nap in our hotel room after seeing Shirley Valentine, and then a Marks and Spencer Chicken Salad (and I had a Pork Pie too) before meeting Michelle and going to the Shadow Lounge for the UK Preview Party. This is the third such event, in a smaller venue this time; while the first party had been a relative financial success (ie I think it didn’t make a loss) the second was not so successful and the prospects for a third looked in doubt; step in John and Paddy to come to the rescue.

At the front of the queue to get in, we met David, who was even earlier in the queue, and then a strange Welshman starting quizzing us about what we were going to see. He must be the real person on whom Gavin and Stacey’s Uncle Bryn is based. Then Niamh popped her head out of the front door and gave us a wave – I gave her a wave back – and unfortunately didn’t get to speak to her again (yes I was the only person to miss out on that pleasure, regrettably).

Eventually we got in, and we spent the evening with (deep breath) Adam, Adam, Mark, Michael, Andy, Liam, Tiina, Tristan & his lady, Dean, Gerry, Paul, Rory, John, Richard, Chris, Juha, David and Andrew Schlagerboy, Mark, John, Robin, Monty, Nico, Franko, Iain, Jody, Adrian, Tom, Paul… there will be others, sorry if I have missed anyone.

First up was Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders, a band from Newport representing Cyprus, who got on famously with everyone and had a raw appeal, having and giving out lots of fun. Then we had Paula and Ovi from Romania, who suffered from bad microphonage unfortunately (but I still think their song is great!);Josh for the UK sang his song and it was the first time I had heard the new version, which I think is an improvement (although I still don’t like the end) – Josh is an excellent singer and comes across as a really nice guy; and finally Niamh for Ireland, who has rapidly become at least two nations’ favourite Eurovision singer and held us all in the palm of her hand. All the acts were introduced by Paddy in his own inimitable style.

A bit too crowded for Mrs C and I to venture on the dance floor but it was great to meet up with friends and enjoy the vibe. Less than three weeks to go before the first Semi Final!! Need to start preparing the party!

Your Country Needs You, Friday 12th March, BBC 1

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If you’re not a Eurovision fan you maybe won’t understand the intense feeling of excitement and expectation when it comes to choosing your country’s Song For Europe. Last year UK fans were spiralled into another stratosphere with the extra effort that the BBC put in (in other words, they made a bit of an effort for the first time in years), and thus this year our expectations have been high.

Then they announced it would be Pete Waterman masterminding the process (not Gary Barlow, shame) but still there were high hopes as we re-evaluated all the SAW hits of the past 100 years.

Then in the run up to the contest, I began to smell a rat. Confirmation of the date of the show was being withheld by the BBC, even though Alexander Rybak had told everyone he would be there on 12th March weeks before. Confirmation of how the voting process would work was also not forthcoming. Information about how you would get tickets was on the quiet side. I remember seeing the Making Your Mind Up shows in 2005 and 2006 and we had our tickets in the post I’m sure two weeks before the event. Two weeks before this show and we had barely registered our interests with SRO Audiences. (I’m really not fussed by all this out-sourcing. Call me old-fashioned.) This all made me think that they really weren’t quite on the ball this year.

Much to my dismay, we were unsuccessful in getting tickets. Even people I didn’t know were Eurovision fans who live in the same town as me got tickets. I resorted to sulking. Mrs Chrisparkle thought it was an unattractive trait. She was right. I decided to meet up with an old pal for lunch on Friday and therefore ruled going to London out of my options. Instead we sat in front of the TV with a rather cheap bottle of vintage cava and some olives. And then the car crash came on.

It looked ok on tv but the sound was appalling. I was sure that at least the first two acts couldn’t have sung that badly but that the “levels” were wrong. And Graham Norton has his autocue failure. I guess that can happen any time but here it just added to that feeling of total lack of preparation. Then in the “second round” Esma forgot her lines. And said “Sorry”. So although she had made a complete mess of it, at least she was still polite.

We voted for her anyway. Not because she was a dependable singer. But because she was the only one who had any real attack to her performance. Josh was/is a much better singer but he looked a bit lost on the stage. I hereby want to wish Josh all the success in the world and the very best of luck for Oslo; and I hope he takes full advantage of any offers of improving his stage presence. Acting classes; dance classes. It will all help.

Mike Stock has said that the song will get a major upgrade. Good. It needs to go from cargo class to balcony suite.

So on the whole I’m glad we didn’t get tickets. I’ve heard some pretty appalling things from some people who went as to how they were treated. Bullying staff; queueing outside after you’ve had to surrender your coats; they all add up to a lack of respect for the individual punter. I have a friend who cannot stand for any length of time, and the tickets say “standing only”. Well that’s discriminatory. They don’t even do that at football anymore.

My friend questioned this and the tickets people confirmed that of course they wouldn’t discriminate against her and that seating would be provided. And indeed it was. An uncomfortable plastic chair set at the back of beyond from where she couldn’t see a thing. And she would also have been miles from anyone else had it not been for a couple of friends staying beside her – with the result that they didn’t see anything either. So the BBC complied with the letter of the law but the spirit of the law went out the studio window. The whole idea of attending is to be part of the audience, to share the camaraderie, not to be plonked as far out of sight as possible. Come on BBC, this is not playing fair! In previous years I know that everyone other than 22 year old blonde girls were sent to the remoter parts of the studio despite their being early in the queue to get in. It just offends my sense of natural justice. Did you know that 22 year old blonde girls constitute a remarkably small part of the average Eurovision demographic?

So I’m afraid this year the BBC does not get a big round of applause from me for this show. I have high hopes for next year. There’s not a lot further for it to plummet.

2010 Eurovision songs I like so far, Part Two.

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If I may refer you back to my previous post here I am happy to say that I am still fond of all those songs, especially Yes Man, Synk eller svøm, and Give it to me.

Plenty of new songs have come our way since then, some that will bedeck the stage in Oslo with their jewels, some that will only exist in a few months’ time on some anoraks’ hard disks. I suppose I should throw my hat into the ring and say that I do like the song that has been chosen for Iceland, Hera Björk’s Je ne sais quoi; I didn’t at first, very much. Too reminiscent of Euroband’s iconic “This is my life”. And indeed the music is written by the same person, so I guess he is entitled to rip himself off. Anyway, after a few high volume hearings of it cruising down the motorway, it has become firmly wedged in my brain.

To Armenia, where they have chosen “Apricot Stone” by Eva Rivas to be their representative. It’s actually a rather charming piece, with a softly evocative start, building to a nice ethnic feel and a groovy chorus. I like it. Apricots are apparently a symbol of Armenia. You learn something every day.

In Norway I’m not going to elevate their entry “My Heart is Yours” to the level of “songs I like” yet – because I am still ambivalent about it. I think I will like it in due course, but I’m not there yet. So I’m going to offer “Jealous cause I love you” by Venke Knutson as an amusing character piece; unfortunately she didn’t perform it too well when it mattered and it is a rather slight song, but it’s entertaining and you can sing it to yourself whilst doing housework. Or rather Mrs Chrisparkle could, as my back is probably too painful for me to do such a thing.

There are two songs I like in Estonia, one is Siren, which snuck in to the final luckily as a previously selected finalist was disqualified. I find it very haunting and once you hear it, very hard to get out of your head. I doubt it will win in Estonia.

I also like Maagiline Päev by Violina and Rolf Junior. I suspect in a month or so’s time if any of these selections will have got demoted from Songs I Like to Songs I’ve Had Enough Of Now, Thank You, this may be the most likely.

In Finland my choices were pretty much kicked aside early in the day. An unfortunate performance from Bääbs meant that You Don’t Know Tomorrow got a deserved flea in its ear.

I also liked America I think I love you, by the Boys of the Band, but I’m sure parts of Europe wouldn’t have approved of such an overtly political statement.

In Denmark, I really like Breathing by Bryan Rice. It came second to the eventual winner, which everyone except me is raving about.

That’ll do for now. I like some of the Melodifestivalen songs but, as you may know, SVT guard their tv output with their lives, so I can’t upload the videos.

Keep enjoying the National Finals season!