Tag Archives: Eurovision

Eurovision Semi Final Two 2012 – The Morning After

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Owing to the lateness of the arrival of Mrs Chrisparkle slaying dragons in London business meetings late into teatime, our Semi Final Two started at approximately 9.15pm, but fortunately the chase play thingy worked ok so we didn’t miss out. I had even timed it so that I remembered at about 9.30 to stop watching for a bit and phone in my votes for my bets, I mean favourites.

After a splendid gluten-free Waitrose Bolognese Pasta treat, and munching deeply on Lady Duncansby’s roulade, it was time to assess those Semi Final Two performances. As on Tuesday, the goal was to find out own personal ten favourites who we would put through to Saturday’s final.

Serbia – A performance full of class that we all appreciated. Lady D announced her approval of it within seconds of the violin striking up. “Those sleeves are distracting” said Mrs C. There’s no pleasing some people. All three said yes.

FYR Macedonia – Its slow and slightly weird first verse alienated Lady D who said “no” a number of times. Mrs C stayed silent. I thought it was an incredibly good performance. Lady D succumbed a little to its rockier charm in the second verse. Mrs C still silent. I was very impressed. All agreed to send it to the final.

Netherlands – Within seconds of it starting Lady D was loving it. I’ve never been a fan of this song and I didn’t think Joan sang very well. Her notes were all over the place at times. By the second verse Lady D and Mrs C were swaying from side to side but I was resolutely not joining in. By the end they had fashioned a tomahawk out of a piece of cheese and were erecting a wigwam in the dining room. It just doesn’t do it for me. However, when I added up my scores in the end I found it was still just in my top ten so we all put it through.

Malta – The living room erupted into a glittering ballroom of enjoyment. Kurt did a really good performance, the stage and light show were terrific and we’ve all promised to practise our pointy shoe shuffle for Saturday night. My top score of the night. Unanimous approval.

Belarus – How many times have they changed this arrangement? It’s got slightly rockier again and I thought their live performance was better than the one on the CD. Mrs C does a similar trick with the microphone stands when she’s attempting pilates. Another song that we all gave a tick to.

Portugal – It did precisely what it said on the tin. A very good performance, even if Mrs C and Lady D made defamatory comments about Filipa’s legs. Good quality entry but just not my plate of bacalhau. Despite saying she’s not into Fado, Mrs C was the only one to approve.

Ukraine – another Sara Cox guffaw moment when she likened Gaetana to a Dolmio puppet. I felt it was much better as a studio recording than a live performance – there were too many holes in the wall of sound. Lady D thought the backing dancers were fresh out of I Claudius. We did enjoy the albeit pixilated effect of the people dancing behind her – one way to get out of the 6 person only rule. Still uplifting though, so we all put it through.

Bulgaria – Oh no, said Lady D, not at all. And we all kind of agreed. It was ok but she got a bit screechy at times. I thought Portugal was a better example of its genre than this song was of its (club style thing) and as I voted Portugal quite low I had to vote this lower. Mrs C surprised us by choosing to promote it to Saturday material.

Slovenia – Quite nice, but just not quite nice enough was the general consent. I made a rather sexist remark associating the lead backing singer and with the generously proportioned underwear outlet Bravissimo. This was the first song that none of us selected.

Croatia – And this was the second. Lady D was aghast at Nina’s knees. It also had very silly dancers. Embarrassingly so. I wrote down the phrase “deliberately awful”.

Sweden – Of all the songs in the contest this is the one that, despite my better judgment, has been VERY slowly growing on me. I still think it fails in many ways but it does have a je ne sais quoi, something I just can’t explain. Her appearance is something akin to a flesh-eating zombie Kate Bush. Lady D noted that it was nice to see Mr T again doing the dancing. Direkt til Baku.

Georgia – Awful song and ragged performance; although I did think it was a bit unfair for Anri to have to perform in the remains of Loreen’s dandruff. The worst attempt at bongo drumming I’ve ever seen. Zilch.

Turkey – I find this song intensely irritating and I thought it was another poorish performance. Still, it’s Turkey, so what can you say. It snuck in as my number 10 and Lady D also begrudgingly gave it a thumbs up.

Estonia – He really has changed the performance of this song hasn’t he? I didn’t like it much before and I probably haven’t changed my mind – it sounds really overperformed now. Mrs C actually suggested pressing the fast forward button. There was, however, some mild appreciation of Mr Lepland’s rather famous charisma implant, noticeable from most angles. Not enough for any of us to vote for him though.

Slovakia – Lady D confessed she didn’t mind the song, and to be honest I quite like it too. I thought Max was out of tune for most of the performance – pitched far too high, unlike his waistband. Nul points.

Norway – Thought it had a bit of a ropey start, and a bit of a ropey end, but somehow he got through it ok. Catchy enough to survive. Three votes for yes.

Bosnia Herzegovina – Dull, dull, dull. Performed quite well. Dull, dull, dull. No votes.

Lithuania – A great performance of a slushy song. Not much more to say really. The PC part of me finds the whole blindfold thing a bit tasteless. Lady D and I put this through.

So the scores for last night were that Lady D and I both got 8/10 and Mrs C just 6/10. Just the big night on Saturday to look forward to now!

Eurovision 2012 – The Grand Final

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Thanks for sticking with me through this grisly preview of this year’s 42 Eurovision entries. It’s time to consider the Big 5 and the home nation Azerbaijan who are all guaranteed to make it to the Grand Final on the evening of Saturday 26th May (or if you’re in Azerbaijan, the morning of Sunday 27th May). They’re in the order of appearance and I’ve given you their oddschecker.com odds as at 4th May as well as those magic Chrisparkle stars.

UK – Love will set you free – Engelbert Humperdinck

I don’t think anyone would have predicted that Engelbert would sing at Eurovision, but of course his song “Another Time Another Place” was in the running for the UK’s 1971 entry. There’s little doubt that it’s a delicate and well constructed song, and once you hear it start, you have to listen to the end. 120 million people watching live shouldn’t phase Engelbert on the night and I think his performance will be a masterclass. The song’s written by Martin Terefe and Sacha Skarbek who between them have worked with Lana Del Rey, James Blunt, Adele, James Morrison and Mary J Blige, and they’re just the ones I’ve heard of. Sadly for the UK it’s first off the block on Saturday night so everyone will have forgotten about it by the time they get to televote. Still I think the juries will like it and I’m hoping for a top ten finish. 10-1 to 14-1 ****

France – Echo (You and I) – Anggun

This is one of those odd entries that sounds like three totally different songs stuck together with some sellotape. Anggun herself has a career as long as your arm and has recorded with such notables as Peter Gabriel, Julio Iglesias and Ronan Keating. I’d like to like this more than I do but something holds me back – it doesn’t quite make it for me. In fact some aspects of the instrumentation I find rather irritating. But I’m fully prepared to accept that’s my fault and not the lovely Anggun’s. The less said about the attractions of the video the better. 40-1 to 100-1 ***

Italy – L’amore è femmina – Nina Zilli

Considering Italy came second with what I thought was rather a drab number last year, surely they can go one better in 2012 with this quirky, funky song. Nina is a sassy dame with more than a passing resemblance, musically and visually, to La Winehouse about her. Back to Black with a touch of Boom Boom. Nice top she’s wearing – Mrs C bought the same one from Primark only a few days ago. Too many cooks spoil the broth doesn’t seem to apply this time, with no fewer than five people credited as the song’s authors. Let’s hope she doesn’t arbitrarily mime on the night as we wouldn’t want a case of willy-nilly Milli Vanilli Zilli. 5-1 to 8-1 *****

Azerbaijan – When the music dies – Sabina Babayeva

Sabina Babayeva takes on all the troubles of the world in this rather depressing, fin-de-relationship song that definitely showcases her superb singing talent. Written by the team behind Drip Drop and Running Scared, it could do well if Europe’s in a wrist-slitting mood. She’s got a wind machine that Carola would kill for. The lyrics, inspired by Imelda Marcos, start with “Shoe are my best friend…” Not many laughs in this one. 28-1 to 40-1 **

Spain – Quedate conmigo – Pastora Soler

Singing from position 19, which has got to be a good one, here’s Pastora Soler’s big belter, arguably this year’s best female ballad. A great voice and a tune that bursts into your head at about 3.30 in the morning. Part written by Thomas G:son, this is his second entry in this year’s contest as he also has a major hand in Loreen’s Euphoria. For me this is a song that grows and grows but if you watch the show in an atmosphere of light-hearted shallowness (heaven forbid) it might just pass you by. One of those dangerous entries that is probably too classy for the contest. 12-1 to 20-1 ***

Germany – Standing still – Roman Lob

Not a 2000 year old version of the shot put, Roman Lob is a personable young man with a fine voice and a modern song written by Jamie Cullum, Wayne Hector and Steve Robson who between them have the better part of the last fifteen years of songwriting sewn up – Take That, Westlife, James Morrison, JLS, One Direction, Olly Murs and Busted are just a handful of the acts who have had huge hits with their songs. It took a little while for me to really like this song – Mrs C loved it before Herr Lob had finished his opening line. Berlin next year? 16-1 to 20-1 *****

Now here’s an interesting little observation. Which ten songs do you think have received the biggest number of hits on youtube? I’m just analysing the videos on the eurovision.tv channel, mind you, it would take all day to add up everyone’s uploads. This is as at about 6pm on May 10th.

Let me put you out of your misery. They are:

10th – Romania (442,233)
9th – Montenegro (445,113)
8th – Greece (455,910)
7th – Croatia (556,548)
6th – Germany (575,777)
5th – Azerbaijan (629,792)
4th – Turkey (717,298)
3rd – United Kingdom (747,779)
2nd – Cyprus (1,200,695)
1st – Russia (1,717,780)

Extrapolate from that what you will.

So now it’s head above the parapet time and first I’m going to give you my top ten favourites:

In at number 10, the pop prince of Persia, it’s the hoodie Tooji for Norway.

Making a decent showing at number 9 the simple clarity and beauty of the song from Engelbert for the UK.

At number 8 bring in the bouncy castle for the terrible twosome from Ireland, the exuberant Jedward.

In at number 7 it’s Nina Pretty Ballerina, or very nearly, it’s Time from Israel.

At number 6 it’s the sassy Amy Winehouse wannabe from Italy, Nina Zilli and L’amore e femmina.

And now for my top 5:

Showing positive discrimination in favour of the Beatles against the Rolling Stones and making departure lounge dancing fashionable again, my 5th favourite of the year is Annmary’s Beautiful Song from Latvia.

My 4th favourite song and a complete guilty pleasure, with the cheesiest chat up line ever, this trumpet makes you mine girl, it’s the irresistibly jolly Lautar from Moldova and Pasha Parfeny.

My 3rd favourite song used to be my first favourite but I have just started to slightly reassess it down a little – but I still love it, and I think she is absolutely gorgeous, it’s Mr and Mrs Eleftheriou’s daughter Eleftheria with her shopping mall hit, Aphrodisiac for Greece.

My 2nd favourite song is one that I keep coming back to, loved it from the first time I heard its opening chords and I still do, it’s that brilliant Sound of our Hearts from Compact Disco from Hungary.

Honourable mentions go to Malta and Germany – really good songs and performers who just failed to make my top ten – but my number one is a choice I feel a little guilty about because the lyrics aren’t great but who cares when it’s such a feel good song. My favourite this year is the eminently wonderful extraordinarily catchy and bouncy bouncy entry from Cyprus and Ivi Adamou’s La La Love.

When all the dust is settled after the contest and the statisticians have been working away for a few days, they will no doubt announce the bottom five of the whole 42; and here is my prediction of the songs that will be the furthest away from qualifying for the Saturday night:

38th the wandering donkey of Montenegro

39th a song that starts nice but then you drift off and that’s Croatia

40th the very nice song but I don’t think it will make an impression coming from Finland

41st a bit shouty for a Thursday evening which must be Slovakia

42nd and as dull as ditchwater, Belgium.

Of the songs that I think will qualify but then end up flapping around anxiously like fish on a slab, my bottom five for Saturday night are:

22nd the grannies from Russia – cute they may be but I think the juries will loathe their banal lyrics

23rd maybe controversial – but I think this will simply be almost everyone’s 11th favourite and therefore not score much and that’s France

24th it might be useful for him to keep his blindfold on during the scoring and that’s Lithuania

25th a personal favourite but I just can’t see it scoring much – the song from Israel

26th Europe shows extreme good taste and ignores Anri from Georgia in its droves.

And finally – my predictions for the top ten on Saturday night.

In 10th place, not one of my favourites but I think will do well – Slovenia

In 9th place, another that I think will do better than it warrants, and that’s Turkey

In 8th place, I think reputation and hopefully a good performance will give UK a top ten position

In 7th place the raunchy expressiveness that is Gaitana’s Be my guest for Ukraine

6th – what more can one say but the increasing popular Jedward for Ireland

5th a song that I think ought to be much better than it is, but I think will do very well and that’s Romania

In 4th place, I’m expecting very great things from the Toojmeister of Norway

In 3rd place, a good song and a very very popular singer in many countries, Zeljko for Serbia

In 2nd place, the excellent song with a great singer and pedigree and Mrs C’s favourite – that’s Herr Lob from Germany

But my winner is a country that went really high last year with a song that I thought was just ok, and this year I feel their song is way better, so I can only predict they will go from second last year to first this year and that’s Italy.

Please feel free to mock and scoff at my likes and my predictions, but whatever you do, have a magnificent Eurovision!

Eurovision 2012 – Semi Final Two

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Welcome back, gentle reader, to the second part of my Eurovision preview for this year, and the songs from Semi Final Two. Once again I’ll be taking the songs in the order in which they will appear on the night (that of Thursday 24th May), and giving you the range of betting odds courtesy of oddschecker.com (taking all the bookmakers who will give you the first four places as each way, as at 24th April) and also my much-coveted star rating out of five. Let’s have no more ado!

Serbia – Nije Ljubav Stvar – Željko Joksimović

It feels like several years ago now that they announced Željko would participate for Serbia again and I remember thinking to myself, well that’s it, he’s won the whole shebang then. But now I’ve heard the song a few times I am not so sure. It feels very classy, and you have to admire the confidence of having a (rather sumptuous) forty second orchestral introduction; but then it kind of descends into nothing much – especially on first hearing. It’s unfortunate that English ears discern “doggy poo” in the first few words. He’s super-popular so a top 5 finish would not remotely surprise me. But it’s no Lane Moje. 12-1 to 14-1 ***

FYR Macedonia – Crno i Belo – Kaliopi

Now here’s a thing. You expect another boring Balkan ballad and you get this instead. At first Kaliopi’s voice sounds like’s it’s seen a few hard winters but it really lends atmosphere and expression to the song. Then you get the relatively high pitched notes of the chorus, which take you by surprise, and finally she turns into a rock chick. Well, a bit. So this is anything but boring. According to wikipedia, so it must be true, she’s released 11 albums and 47 singles, and she’s had her own record label for the past twelve years. Serious lyrics and a good tune combine to make this the best song from the FYR since, possibly, ever. 80-1 to 200-1 ***

Netherlands – You and Me – Joan

Yet another Marmite song, and this time I’m on the side that prefers jam. Much has been made of Joan’s dipping into the dressing-up box for no apparent reason, but if she keeps the headdress on and space is tight in the Crystal Hall she might have to sidle on to the stage. Personally her accent grates on me like a hundred Lenas and clashes with the delicacy of the tune of the verse. When the chorus kicks in I’ve had enough. The song is a “I wish I were a punk rocker with flowers in my hair”-wannabe, and I genuinely don’t understand why it’s so popular. 50-1 to 100-1 **

Malta – This is the Night – Kurt Calleja

Now here’s a song that’s benefited hugely from its post-final, pre-Baku makeover. There’s no doubt that the song itself is pretty derivative and somewhat repetitive, but Kurt does a good job presenting it, and I have to confess my spirits lift when I hear the opening bars. Make his day and sing along with the eh eh eh eh’s. If you meet him in Azerbaijan, ask him to do his impersonation of Spongebob Squarepants. 80-1 to 200-1 ****

Belarus – We are the Heroes – Litesound

And here’s the opposite of the previous song, in that somewhere between the Belarus final (which of course it didn’t win) and the final version, We are the Heroes has lost a lot of its rocky power and is in danger of becoming bland. You have to hand it Litesound, they’ve been plugging away at representing Belarus since the times of the last Czar, and they’ve finally made it. An anagram of their name is “Nudes Toil”. I used to like this, and I do still, somewhat – but it’s fading. 50-1 to 100-1 **

Portugal – Vida Minha – Filipa Sousa

The gentle sun’s rays warming your heart; the waves lapping at your tootsies; the sky as blue as Picasso’s 1901 to 1904 period; is it just me or does this song make you think of Mediterranean beaches? Nicely soporific but rather forgettable. The lovely Filipa comes from the Operação Triunfo stable, but I think her chances of reaching Saturday night have long bolted. 100-1 to 200-1 **

Ukraine – Be my guest – Gaitana

Controversy at home with a leading Ukrainian politician not happy that the part-Congolese Gaitana is representing what he would no doubt prefer to be their Aryan nation. Let’s move on and consider instead that it’s a bright and bouncy song, and it’s nice that Ruslana lent them her trembitas for a bit of Hutsul ethnicity. Lyrically it’s somewhat undemanding, basically being a three minute musical “hello”. Her father is apparently head of telecommunications in Congo, so there might be a surprisingly large televote from Brazzaville. Great for unwittingly embarrassing yourself behind the steering wheel at traffic lights. 40-1 to 100-1 ****

Bulgaria – Love Unlimited – Sofi Marinova

Nothing to do with Barry White in the 1970s, Sofi’s a modern girl with a modern lifestyle – being not only once married to the father of her son but also having a long term relationship with one of his other sons too, or at least so says Wiki. When the tune gets really high-pitched she sounds to me as though she becomes Chinese, but she is apparently an all-Bulgarian girl. Very clubby, I quite like it, despite all its “dorem dem dem deis”. 100-1 to 200-1 ***

Slovenia – Verjamem – Eva Boto

I always think I don’t like this very much, but when I’m forced to hear I have to admit it’s not bad. It has a very dreamy quality, and I quite like the use of the Ravel’s Bolero snare drums during the ah ah ah ah bit. She also has a small stab at a Marija Šerafović-style ooh ooh ooh before the final chorus, but comes off second best. Check out the video if you want to admire the four biggest fascinators you’ve ever seen. Pretty impressive for a 16 year old. 50-1 to 100-1 ***

Croatia – Nebo – Nina Badrić

The guitar intro sounds quite beguiling but you quickly realise this song commits the cardinal sin of being boring. To compensate they’ve constructed a video that ought to accompany a completely different song – and she’s never going to get those sheets folded that way. Nothing to see here, ladies and gentlemen, move along if you please. 80-1 to 150-1 *

Sweden – Euphoria – Loreen
Here’s the spoke I’m going to stick into this year’s Eurovision works. For me this is a triumph of style over content. Loreen is a great singer and she puts in a magnificent performance, all three syllables of her. But the song really is nothing special. Full of pauses and gaps, whenever it gathers momentum it loses it again. If this were Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound, it would need serious attention to the pointing. Built around the “up up up up up up” gimmick it doesn’t so much soar like an eagle, more hop like a wallaby. People love it though. Please address your complaints about my comments to the WordPress Customer Satisfaction Office. 2-1 to 12/5 ***

Georgia – I’m a Joker – Anri Jokhadze

I’m a joker proclaims Anri Jokhadze. No you’re not, you’re a pillock, replies Europe en masse. A pompously sub-operatic start leads into shouty unmusical drivel that points out that this song is going nowhere; but it goes there anyway – relentlessly. I don’t like to be negative but I can see no alternative with this entry. I’m not surprised he’s trying to hide in that photo. Buttock-clenchingly awful. 80-1 to 200-1 *

Turkey – Love Me Back – Can Bonomo

There are times when you can take a metaphor too far. This is one of those times. Chirpy Can is stuck on board his ship, sing hey nonny nonny. To be fair it has an interesting ethnic lilt but its essential silliness quashes any real credibility to which it might have aspired. His “seeng weeth meee my children” has something of a creepy Phantom of the Opera to it. My ship is made from hope, she’s searching for your bay, well you know what sailors are, mind the gangway. 20-1 to 33-1 **

Estonia – Kuula – Ott Lepland

I’ve not been very charitable with these songs, have I? Unfortunately it’s not going to improve much here. There’s nothing problematic with this song, it’s just a bit dull. I’m beginning to find it almost endurable after twelve or so listenings but that doesn’t sound to me like a recipe for Eurovision victory. There’s only so many times one can hear the word “kuula” and continue to pay attention – so while your mind wanders, you can have a lot of fun juggling with his name – Ott le Pland; Ottle Pland; Planet Dolt (not my invention but I approve); there must be more. Three minutes later and he’s stopped emoting. Thank goodness for that. 33-1 to 100-1 ***

Slovakia – Don’t Close Your Eyes – Max Jason Mai

This year’s raucous entry – if it isn’t Finnish, it’s bound to be Slovakian. It’s not my kind of thing but I don’t think it’s bad for its genre. Max came second in Czechoslovak Idol in 2009. He sports the statutorily required hairstyle for this metallic rock stuff. A bit tedious, but livened up by a surprisingly tuneful chorus. 100-1 to 150-1 ***

Norway – Stay – Tooji

I was a little disappointed when they chose Tooji to represent Norway as there were a few songs that I preferred in their National Final. However, with the wisdom of hindsight I think they made the right decision. The Pop Prince of Persia (he lived in Iran for his first year) is sponsored by the Norwegian hoodie industry and commands the stage with this quirky upbeat number that out-Saades Eric. Mrs Tooji Senior is persona non grata in Tehran so Baku will be the opportunity for a big family reunion. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Toojmeister in the high end of the scoreboard on the Saturday night. 16-1 to 25-1 ****

Bosnia Herzegovina – Korake Ti Znam – Maya Sar

Vying with, and just beating, Croatia for the title of the Ultimate Snoozefest 2012. Even the opening orchestral chords sound like a disappointed sigh. It’s a dark and dingy song which potters along quietly whilst your mind wanders onto other slightly less tedious things. Sadly forgettable. Maya was Dino Merlin’s keyboard player last year. 66-1 to 125-1 *

Lithuania – Love is Blind – Donny Montell

Plucky Donny has been battering at the Lithuanian Eurovision door for a few years now and in 2012 finally its hinges gave way. Empathising with the Disability Discrimination Act more than is legally required, it’s quite a good tune, but the lyrics are rather trite and schmaltzy, and put together it just comes across as a huge dollop of wet. I really hate that self-indulgent bit before the second chorus. A good draw though, so I expect we will see Vilnius Blind Man’s Buff in the Final. 50-1 to 150-1 ***

And that concludes the prosecution case for the second semi final. I can’t quite stretch to a 5* for any of these, but Malta, Ukraine and Norway come closest. I’ll be back fairly shortly with my assassination, I mean preview, of the Big 5 plus Azerbaijan, and I’ll pin my colours to the mast with a few predictions.

Eurovision 2012 – The ones that got away

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It’s that time of year again, gentle reader, when it is my duty to let you hear a few gems that did not make it through their national qualifying heats and therefore will not be gracing the stage of the Crystal Hall in Baku, if they build it on time. It’s been a good year, although perhaps not a great one, for the National Finals. I’m going to start of with an absolute classic. Petter Øien and Bobby Bare got into the final four in Norway with their simple country song, Things Change. It stands out not only because of the different genre, but also because it’s a fine old tune. If Bobby Bare had made it to Baku, he would have been 77 years old; that young whippersnapper Engelbert Humperdinck would be in short trousers by comparison.

Next up is a wonderful dramatic piece from Iceland, not that this year’s Icelandic entry lacks a sense of saga. Hugarro, which my online translator says means “Peace of Mind”, is sung by Magni Asgeirsson. He has one of those voices that makes you think he’s experienced a lot of troubles in his life, and this was his 4th attempt to represent Iceland at the Eurovision Song Contest. Last year he came 2nd with “Eg trui a betra lif”; and this year he slipped down to 3rd, so he’d better pull his socks up in the future. The opening keyboard sound has something of the Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence about it. See what you think.

Over to Hungary now, and a strong final as this year’s Hungarian entry by Compact Disco is definitely one of my favourites. But there was plenty of other prospects to tickle your tunebuds. Take for example this quality ballad, Vizio (Vertigo) performed by the amusingly named Caramel. If you were ever going to name a bloke Caramel, this is not how I would imagine him to look. Maybe he has a soft centre. He won Hungarian Pop Idol in 2005 and is now a judge on the show, so he probably knows his nougats from his pralines.

Double-dipping in Hungary, here’s the song that came draw 2nd with Vizio, Learning to let go by Gabor Heincz, or Heincz Gabor if you prefer. It couldn’t be more different from Mr Caramel’s offering, as it’s light of note and jaunty of step, one of those songs that require you to hop from one side to another in your brain as it progresses. He was a backing singer in the Eurovision a couple of years ago, and the song’s a jolly little thing with a certain je ne sais quoi; if I knew quoi, I would tell you.

I know what you’re thinking – where are the girls? Well here’s one. Ditte Marie from Denmark singing Overflow, another bright upbeat dancy little number that came nowhere in Aalborg. It probably doesn’t examine the human condition in any great depth, but you can have too much philosophy. Wearing an ice queen leotard rummaged out of the seconds bin – check out the rips on her arms – she does a nice line in stage-strutting without it ever being over-the-top. It’s certainly jollier than the song that will represent Denmark this year. Have a listen.

I feel like a touch of the Baltics after that, so let’s nip over to Estonia avoiding the “Kuula” – I’ll dissect that one day soon – and keeping it light let’s have a listen to You’re Not Alone by Birgit Õigemeel (try saying that after a few bottles of Saku) and Violina, which I think of as a prettier version of the James Last Orchestra. Birgit won the first season of Estonian Idol and has recorded loads of singles. This song came 7th in their national final and I think was under-rated. Admittedly it’s not as good as the wonderful Violina/Rolf Junior attempt from 2010, “Maagiline päev”, but I think it deserves an honourable mention here.

Look I don’t want to bore you for too long so I’ll just suggest a couple of others for you. Over in Austria, a chap named Norbert Schneider sang this very “different” number called Medicate my blues away. It couldn’t be further away from the Trackshittaz. Norbert’s into his blues in a big way, and although this wouldn’t normally be my Tasse Tee, I rather like its smooth chirpiness. It’s the title track of his new album too. It didn’t make the superfinal in Austria – probably to his credit.

Whilst we’re in Austria, have a listen to Englishman James Cottriall who also failed to make the superfinal with his song, Stand Up. He moved to Vienna as part of his German and Philosophy degree at Nottingham University, where his part-time busking and other gigs took off so well that he remained there to pursue his music career – very successfully as it turns out. Stand Up is a nice anthemic song and doesn’t feature rappers with dodgy lyrics or a bearded lady.

Time for one more – and it’s over to Latvia, where there were a few good contenders to represent the country. Whilst I think Anmary’s Beautiful Song, that will be in Baku, was probably the perfect choice, it would be remiss not to include this final song in this memorial to songs that you might never hear again. Music Thief is a silly, funny song about plagiarism, with lyrics stolen from other songs and with musical elements you’ll recognise from elsewhere too. The lead singer’s voice gives you hope that one day you too could have a recording career. I’d like the Mad Show Boys come back next year with something equally daft.

If you got this far – and listened to the songs too – well done you. Feel free to post a comment if you like or hate any of them or if you have other suggestions. I’ll be examining this year’s proper entries soon, so you have been warned.

Review – Toma Fund Presents Eurovision Reunited, The Sage, Gateshead, 11th April 2012

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An unlikely charity inspires an unlikely event in an unlikely location on an unlikely date – but what a combination! Toma Fund’s Eurovision Reunited was a great show and it would be fantastic if it could become an annual event.

The Toma Fund is a charity that supports children, teenagers, young people and their families in the North East and Cumbria who have been affected by a diagnosis of childhood cancer. It is dedicated to the memory of Jordan Thompson and Sophie Atay who were cousins who died of childhood cancers in 2007 and 2010. The fund is run by Jordan’s mother Andrea, who, together with fundraiser Sue Lawrence – a Eurovision fan, came up with the idea of having a concert at the Sage in Gateshead of previous Eurovision winners and performers, with all the proceeds going to charity.

The concert was held on Wednesday 11th April. The choice of a midweek date was, in a sense, both the strength and weakness of the event. Strength, in that it meant the likelihood that the acts would be available was much greater – at the weekends they would more than likely have previous work commitments. Weakness, because it was harder for people other than locals to attend without taking time off work. This actually meant that many Eurovision fans from abroad who would have liked to attend simply couldn’t. The location – Gateshead – was also not advantageous as far as overseas travellers were concerned – flights to Newcastle are considerably more expensive than to London, and there are fewer of them.

Still – who am I to quibble about these things. With some judicious adaptation of the “working from home” concept, and a couple of half-day leaves, Mrs Chrisparkle and I were able to attend, together with our German friend JP, who has a weekly show – Radio International – on Dutch radio about Eurovision, and indeed on which you can hear me every month or so, rambling on about something Eurovisiony. So the three of us were very privileged to get backstage and post-show-party access to record some interviews for the radio show and to hob and to nob with the great and the good.

We got lost trying to find the hotel and arrived at the Sage later than we hoped, so our window of interviewing opportunity during the sound checks had passed. In fact on arrival we were escorted to the Artists’ Dining Room where they were having their pre-show meal. A word about the Sage – it’s a glorious building from the outside, with massive airy public spaces and the Concert Hall is a stunning piece of modern architecture. However, I was surprised how drab the backstage areas are! There are (I think) two main dressing rooms where lots of people share, and a few others for individuals or groups but there would be no room if you wanted to go cat-swinging as well. The Artists’ Dining Room was grey and featureless – apart from an open canteen area and some big tables. Still I am sure it fulfils its purpose.

Many of the artists were having their dinner and it seemed extremely rude to interrupt them, but two we spoke to were Nicki French, who is preparing for a new theatre role in “Guilty Pleasures”, coming to a theatre near you soon, and Linda Martin, whose cup is currently overflowing with the job of mentoring Jedward for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. I can tell you from our chats with Linda that she is very excited at working with Jedward – she admires their ability to learn and soak up new ideas like a sponge, as well as their commitment to their fans. She’s thrilled with the song “Waterline” – as soon as she heard it, she knew it was the right one – and they are also planning something spectacular for the presentation in Baku. She couldn’t say what, precisely, but she assured us we would all go “wow” in a very big way.

After the artists had dispersed back to their dressing rooms we thought we’d try our luck with one of the big names. Tentatively we asked Brotherhood of Man if they would mind giving us an interview, and no question, we were invited into their dressing room, even though they were in the middle of getting ready for the show, and gave us loads of their time. We reflected back on their success of 1976 and they came up with their memories of the time; we talked about their subsequent career, how important their Eurovision win was in terms of their career, right up to the present time with with their current touring show, The Seventies Story. We also established that they weren’t from the Isle of Man! I was able to tell them how “Save Your Kisses For Me” cheered me up when I was in hospital aged 15 – shortly before the 1976 contest – and they said that they had spoken to so many people who associate the song with a significant event in their life. They were charming, funny and generous with their time – a real pleasure to meet them.

Hanging around the corridors outside we bumped into one of the presenters – Sheila Ferguson, one time lead singer with the Three Degrees. She was dressed stunningly, in a gorgeous black evening dress but I thought she looked anxious and concerned about things. I thought perhaps we shouldn’t interrupt her at this point – but no sooner had he seen her JP instantly asked if she would give an interview and she beamed with delight and said she would love to. She was really funny – quick witted, eloquent, warm and friendly too. I reminded her of her TV sitcom, Land of Hope and Gloria, in 1992, and she was very proud of the fact that she was the first black woman to have the star role in a UK sitcom. She now lives in Majorca, and in fact had a flight back at 5am the following day. But her conversation was peppered throughout with hilarity and we spent the entire time laughing through the interview. A memorable moment came when JP referred to the Three Degrees song “Dirty Ol’ Man” as “Dirty Ol’ Bag” by mistake! I said one of my favourites was “Year of Decision” and she said she always hated that song!

We spoke briefly to Mr Johnny Logan, and to Miss Anne-Marie David, two Eurovision legends. The time and situation wasn’t really right for interviews with them though. We spoke to “Captain” Russ from Scooch, who was very happy to do an interview except that he didn’t know where the rest of his group were. Later on we met “Head Stewardess” Caroline, but then Russ was absent – and neither of them had seen “Head Purser” David. The fourth member, Natalie, had just had another baby, so she was described as being on “breast-feeding leave”. Bobbysocks to the rescue! Hanne Krogh and Elisabeth Andreassen were both eager and happy to talk to us and gave us a hilarious interview which talked about their careers and the night when Victory finally was Norway’s, but also involved a considerable amount of flirting between the four of us and which involved some – I can only describe it as – “breast action” from Ms Andreassen, which made me blush from top to toe. “My wife and your husband are watching!” I said; “they should be pleased for us” was her slightly bizarre reply. Later on that evening, Ms Krogh was last seen at the after-show party standing up and proposing a toast to everyone and getting really rather emotional about it all. I think it had been a long night.

Meanwhile, backstage, time was running out, and we had to get to our seats to see the show. It was great. For me, the two stand out performances were when Anne-Marie David sang Je suis l’enfant soleil, her French entry from 1979, and Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan singing their winning Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids from 1994 with a stunning purity and simplicity. But everyone was in great voice and turned up the entertainment knob to the top notch. With two songs from Anne-Marie David, Johnny Logan and Linda Martin, and one from everyone else, the evening flew by. Co-hosting the show with Sheila Ferguson was a bespangled Christopher Biggins, as irreverent and cheeky as you would expect.

After the show, all the acts (bar one) sat at a row of desks in the foyer and virtually the entire audience trooped by them, one by one, chatting, getting signatures, photos, buying CDs and so on. It was a great opportunity for the fans to meet the acts, and it was again very generous of the acts to give their time so generously. We joined the back end of the queue to get a couple more interviews. At last all of Scooch had found each other, so we were able to talk to them about their careers and what they are doing now – which appears to be a lot of theatre.David – who is local to the north-east – was also extremely happy to announce that he had got married the day before. I resisted the temptation to say he finally had something to suck on for landing, sir. We also spoke to Ian and Dene from Black Lace, who were a good laugh and very down to earth. Later at the aftershow party, they would somewhat bizarrely sing Agadoo with a karaoke machine to their own backing track.

Which takes us on to the aftershow party, where we interviewed Josh Dubovie – the second time I’ve interviewed Josh as it happens – and he is very much looking forward to getting his first CD with his own compositions released later this year. It will be very interesting to hear what Josh’s own stuff is like. He very politely turned down our offer to suggest any words of advice to Engelbert Humperdinck! The last performer we met and interviewed was Scott Fitzgerald, known to Eurovision fans for coming second with “Go” to Celine Dion (with whom he apparently still exchanges Christmas cards) in 1988, but known to the rest of the world as one half of the duo that sang “If I Had Words” to the tune of Saint-Saens’ Organ Symphony. A very friendly and chatty Scot, he’s now living in Rotterdam, and he confessed that the Gateshead concert was only the second time he had sung “Go” in public, the first time being on the Eurovision stage.

And so the party wound to a close, but not before Nicky Stevens of Brotherhood of Man proved herself to be a right party animal, doing Tina Turner and Whitney Houston on the karaoke! An amazing night – full of great entertainment and the thrill of meeting and talking to all these people. It would be wonderful if this could become an annual event – maybe it could become a part of the April “preview party” circuit – and also to continue raising funds for this very worthy cause. I’m not sure when the interviews will all be broadcast but I am sure you will be able to find them through the “show archive” section of the Radio International website.

Ten never-to-be-forgotten Eurovision songs (that have been somewhat forgotten)

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Here’s an article I wrote for the most recent edition of Vision Magazine (the magazine of OGAE UK, the UK Eurovision fan club, if you didn’t know). I thought I’d trot it out for you kind blogreaders to read as well, AND you get the benefit of the youtubes in glorious Technicolor© too.

Of course, this is just about as subjective as it gets. Here are (IMHO) ten songs that should always be within reach of your mp3 player or stylus depending on your vintage. Over the years the bloom may have faded a little from their petals, and their stalks may be wilting, but they’ve still got stamens of gold. And if that’s too much botany for you, I’d like you to consider my first suggestion, Beş Yıl Önce, On Yıl Sonra, that catchily-titled group from Turkey, with their 1984 offering “Halay”. Watch the video beneath, and check out their incredible dance moves, basically comprising of syncopated hand holding and then gentle release. It looks like one of those more careful exercises your chiropractor might teach you. It’s a fabulous little song about Turkish country dancing, but it’s the secondary elements that stay in the mind – those enviably turquoise jumpers, ties and dresses; the sassy swaying of the girls to the front of the stage – just the once, don’t want to get us too excited; and the chap on the right who looks like he’s sending a secret message to Ankara by morse-coding with his eyes.

Back to 1979’s curtain raiser and it’s Manuela Bravo (no relation to Juliet) with Sobe, Sobe, Balao Sobe (Rise, rise, little balloon, rise). Back in those halcyon days we could rejoice in the simple pleasures of little balloons, no Finnish monsters or hamster wheels of death then. Of course it’s not a real balloon. It’s a metaphor for a nation growing in confidence after the dark days of fascist repression when all you could look forward to was a Sing-a-long-a-Fado night. The golden balloon rises with love and optimism for a great future. Alternatively, it just might be a real balloon. Manuela’s and the girls’ dresses were all courtesy of the pastel end of the Dulux Colour Chart, and the orchestration under the baton of Thilo Krassman proved surprisingly raunchy. I always expect her to break into Andy Williams’ “It’s my happy heart you hear” but she holds back just in time. So if you’ve forgotten this one, have a listen and give your ears a treat. And there was no truth in the rumour that the following year she wanted to sing a song about rolling a hoop with a stick.

“Man gewöhnt sich so schnell an das Schöne” is one of those titles that make you think you haven’t enough time left to listen to the song. It was the German song for 1964, sung by Nora Nova, Bulgarian by birth and one of the founders of the National Movement for Stability and Progress, which tried to return the old Bulgarian Tsar to power about ten years ago. Jolly and entertaining though it may be, the juries’ memories weren’t as long as the title and it was certainly forgotten by the time the votes came in, getting a resounding nul points, although it wasn’t the only song that year to be so devastatingly ignored. Once the dullish introduction is behind you, it’s a rather showy big band sound that wouldn’t be out of place in Strictly Come Dancing. Nora is in her mid-seventies now but I’m sure she could still rock the joint if you asked nicely. Especially if you invite the Tsar.

And now 1970. No, not quite Tales of the Unexpected, but “Je suis tombé du ciel” from the elegantly ruffled dress shirt of Mr David Alexandre Winter. If that’s a French accent, I’m a Dutchman. Actually, he’s the Dutchman, and has clearly been no closer to Paris than the Amsterdam branch of Délifrance. Not even Frenchifying the spelling of his middle name is convincing, but then he was singing for Luxembourg. This classic nul pointer came last despite being an uplifting hymn to the joys of young love and I particularly enjoy the environmental dichotomy behind the line “tu es ma ville et tu es mon village”. David is largely forgotten now, and according to wikipedia (so it must be true) is a car dealer in the United States. So revel if you will in the bounciness of this spirited song. Believe me, it’s great in the shower when you can get at least five syllables out of the phrase “fou de joie”.

1990 is one of my favourite years at Eurovision, and if you look towards the neglected end of the middle-runners on the final board – kind of 7th batsman level – you find the dippy delight of the Cyprus entry, Milas Poli by Haris Anastazio. Terry Wogan told us he had a dance studio in Limassol. Anastazio a dancer? This is the laziest dancing you’ll witness this side of the Troodos Mountains. Dressed by the Nicosia branch of St Barnardo’s, fortunately he was backed up by two pert and cute girls who showed what denim was made for and to cap it all they nicked the Herreys’ boots and spray-painted them platinum. The conductor and co-writer was Jon Vickers, whose love-child has to be the Go-Compare man. There’s a moment at the beginning of the second verse where Haris does a cutesy facial finger waving routine, and for some reason I imagine him wearing Donald Duck’s sailor outfit at this point – best not go there. The song and orchestration are pure good mood music and it’s one of those three minutes that defines why Eurovision is so smashing.

Tucked away in those mid 1990s contests when songs from eastern Europe started to make their mark, you will find the debut entry for Slovakia in 1994, Martin Durinda and Tublatanka with Nekonečná Pieseň, satisfyingly translated as “Never ending Song”. Slovakia has yet to set the world alight, eurovision-wise; maybe if they stuck with their tuneful rock like this they might have done better. Hard on the outside but with a soft centre like a Dairy Milk caramel, this was always going to become a period piece. After the plaintive strings, Martin starts accidentally singing the Bee Gees “Words” (Smile, an everlasting smile…) but hurriedly manages to change it back to an almost original song, before the chorus kicks in and he just avoids going into Renaissance’s “Northern Lights”. Tublatanka have been around for Donkeys Years and show no sign of slowing down. It’s a nice little song, and perfect for those moments when one more schlager would have you reaching for the Rennies.

A funny thing happened on the day before Arnis Mednis’ marriage in 2001 and he chose to write about it in that year’s Latvian entry, Too Much. And looking at the lyrics he was probably wise not to give us Too Much Information. In this packed three minutes, he takes on infidelity, drink dependence, drug taking and frigidity. Ah yes, I’ve been to Riga too. It’s all set to a rousing beer-cheery tune, with a join-in chorus (“we’ll see”), a manic accordionist and backing singers who you’d guess were at the pub last night. Arnis starts off behind the dark glasses, probably out of embarrassment, but later discards them in an attempt to look cool. A mish-mash of ingredients but somehow when you put them together you get a feelgood song of Bierkeller proportions. Unfortunately Arnis has suffered very bad health this year, so let’s hope he gets well again soon and composes the sequel.

Very much a child of his time, do you remember Kojo from Finland and his Nuku Pommiin? Back in 1982 we were all concerned that the world would go up in a puff of nuclear smoke, and we all had “nein danke“ auf our Parkas genäht. His message was sleep and a bomb will come and get you. Well there wasn’t a great chance of sleeping while Kojo was on stage. Backed by Blues Brothers rejects, and wearing a subtle suit of Burnt Sienna, Kojo interpreted the song as if his life depended on it – and I suppose given the lyrics, it did. You can’t dance to this; you can’t really sing along to it, yet it’s a favourite nul-pointer in my book. I guess he just came over a little over raucous for the genteel inhabitants of Harrogate. If you haven’t heard it for a while, give it another listen – it’s actually more tuneful than you remember. Do you think the way he knocks his head with his hand in time with the drum beat signifies that nuclear war is a no-brainer? Or do I need a lie down?

Here’s one of those songs that sounds a lot better in a foreign language when you haven’t got a clue what they’re on about; and then you hear the English language version and you think “oh no, how lame”. “How well I merge with this world that dazes me, how I’m absorbed in time that doesn’t exist”. Oh Cole, really, do give over. It’s the 1993 debut entry from Slovenia, Tih Deževan Dan, a rather dreamy and relaxing number that works perfectly well with your eyes shut. Cole Moretti fronts the 1 X Band, wearing a jacket ruined by mixing his colours in the wash, with three backing girls symmetrically mimicking music box dolls doing a 20km road walk. The chorus features some backing girl chants that sound quite nice in Slovene (Kaj bi?) but sound daft in English (What is?) Largely forgotten by the juries on the night it scraped a draw 22nd place, though Cole’s guitar solo was obviously the inspiration for Jemini’s riff ten years later.

And finally the second oldest song in this selection, the cheekily Mary Quant-like Kirsti Sparboe and the first of her Eurovision gi-normous smash hits, Karusell. What an innocent age 1965 was. Kirsti and her two suitors play on a merry-go-round, her comparing the two chaps in terms of size (steady) and temperament, all of which Kirsti then goes and tells her mother about, and finally she concludes she loves one and can’t be bothered with the other one. And then we can all go home for teacakes and soda pop. In this way, generations are created. All set to a lovely little cha-cha-cha of the type you might hear in Craig Revel Horwood’s dressing room. Can’t see the likes of Lordi getting down to this. Kirsti would of course wow the Eurovision stage with future efforts but this little beauty of a song is a charmer and easily overlooked when you’re making up Eurotastic compilations for the car.

So what conclusion can we draw from this look at easily forgotten masterpieces? That the juries know nothing? That the old days were better? That the orchestra gave an added dimension? Probably or possibly none, or all, of the above. Still, no matter how much we may enjoy all the new offerings every year, there’s always a tasteful reason to stroll down memory lane.

The Real Chrisparkle meets Nicki French!

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In the first of an occasional series of interviews, I recently had the pleasure to interview the one and only Miss Nicki French (Total Eclipse of the Heart, Eurovision, Annie, and much more) for the Home Composed Song Contest website and I hope you enjoy our chat.

RealChrisSparkle: It gives me great pleasure to introduce to the visitors to the Home Composed Song Contest website the one and only Miss Nicki French! Hi Nicki, how are you doing? Is this your first contact with the Home Composed Song Contest?

Nicki French: Hi Chris – lovely to be here, and thanks for asking me! Yes, this is ‘virgin territory’ for me, so please be kind….

RCS: Of course I will be kind! I guess, as a singer, you hold the skill of song writing in high esteem?

NF: Oh definitely!! I try to write songs, and have done a few that have gone out to the public, but I’m in awe of those who find it so easy! I’m better at co-writing I think – but it’s a great feeling when something works.

RCS: I bet it is – I certainly couldn’t do it! So when you’ve co-written songs in the past do you tend to do the lyrics or the music, or doesn’t it work that way?

NF: A bit of both – the rhyming tends to get a little beyond me from time to time!! But generally I think of a few phrases – of both words and music together – for a song, then work from that.

RCS: Do you have a favourite song that you wrote or co-wrote?

NF: Ooooh that’s difficult! There are a few on the ‘French Revolution’ album that I’m pretty proud of – but I wasn’t the main writer on those really. I don’t know – they all tend to be quite different I think – but hey, perhaps the best one is yet to come…. watch this space, as they say!

RCS: That sounds very promising! How closely do you work with songwriters in general? And have you worked with any Famous Names?

NF: Well Katrina and I did write a song together some years ago, which we entered for Eurovision! That was back in the days when anyone could submit a song to BASCA. It didn’t get past the first round though unfortunately! I’ve worked with Hussein Ramadan quite a bit in past years (I often use his studio to record vocals), and we’ve discussed recently the prospect of writing together. Hopefully that will happen quite soon.

RCS: Fingers crossed! Did you get to meet or work alongside Jim Steinman at the time of Total Eclipse of the Heart?

NF: Not then, no – although he DID send a message via the record company (Love This Records), saying he loved our version, and wished me continued success, which was amazing! A few years later though, just before Eurovision 2000, HE approached ME to record a couple of tracks for his new company, Ravenous Records. There then followed quite a surreal experience – I was recording the vocals in London, he was then listening to them over in the States via a ‘down the line’ type setup, making comments and suggestions, and we did two songs that way – ‘Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad’ and ‘Lovers Again’! It was strange having the executive producer commenting by remote – but it seemed to work! Sadly he couldn’t commit to working with me for at least another two years, so nothing really came of it. A great experience though. As my ex-husband said to me at the time, ‘You’ve always dreamed of being a backing vocalist for Meat Loaf – now you’re singing LEAD vocals for the man who MADE Meat Loaf’!!!

RCS: How fantastic to have that endorsement from such a major figure in modern music! It’s a shame nothing further came of it but it’s still a real honour. Maybe we have the new Jim Steinman lurking undiscovered in this year’s Home Composed Song Contest! Some previous contestants have gone on to extend their careers in song writing, maybe within the framework of the Eurovision Song Contest. Have you got any advice for aspiring songwriters?

NF: All I can really suggest is that they should never give up trying. We all know of so many people who have been writing songs all their lives, with limited success, then that one break comes – and everyone wants them to write for THEM! Also, accept that what may be the perfect song for one person or act won’t be right for another. That’s not to say you should write specifically for one style or act – but be careful you choose who you think it suits best. Then again, I’ve had times before where I’ve been given – or have written – a song that I think makes a great ballad, then someone else will take it on and it becomes a dance-floor filler, so I guess it’s always good to have someone else’s opinion too!!!

RCS: Total Eclipse is a good example of that – Bonnie Tyler’s version was always regarded as a classic, and then you came along and recreated it in a totally different style and showed how it can be done! Thinking back to the “older” songs – it’s now twelve years since you graced the stage in Stockholm and sang “Don’t Play That Song Again”. Do you still enjoy performing that song?

NF: Oh, always! I’m frequently surprised at what a great reaction it still gets – and I love singing it to an enthusiastic Eurovision audience particularly!

RCS: Don’t be surprised – it’s such a feelgood song! I think everyone knows you are a great supporter of the Eurovision Song Contest. How did you enjoy this year’s show? What did you think of the songs? Any favourite songs or performers from this year?

NF: I really did enjoy this year’s Contest, not least because I was there the night before the Final (performing on the Euroboat)! I thought it was all SO well put together this year, and the standard was pretty high too. I have to say, I absolutely loved Romania’s entry (‘Change’) – Hotel FM performed at the UK’s Preview Party in London, which I co-hosted with Paddy O’Connell, and I decided then and there that it was my favourite! There were some really good performances all the way through – I even have to hold my hands up and say I enjoyed Jedward!

RCS: I think Jedward surprised many! I did too, although I really didn’t think I would. Those preview parties are fun, aren’t they! Would you like to have another stab at performing in Eurovision yourself?

NF: Oh absolutely, definitely – just tell me where!!! I would dearly love to be a part of the whole Eurovision experience again. I hated being officially ‘the lowest ever placing’ for the UK until (thankfully) Jemini came along, and would love the chance to do better. I would LOVE a nice big ballad to get my teeth into….!

RCS: Well let’s get those writers out there onto it! So whilst anticipating your next Eurovision entry, what else have you been doing in recent years?

NF: Well, I’ve been trying to move more into the theatre world, as well as keeping up with the live singing gigs. I was part of the UK tour of ‘Annie’ the musical for nine months, which was great fun – playing seven different roles, most of which required me to wear varying degrees of hideous wigs! In previous years I have taken part in a couple of pantomimes in the UK, and this year am set to play the character of ‘Dandini’ in Cinderella at Kettering, Northamptonshire.Hopefully I will be off to do a short tour of shows over in Brazil towards the end of October – I always love going there, as I get to work with a live band, and Nicki French is quite a big name over in Brazil, which is rather nice! Apart from that I’ve just been working on my house – it’s never-ending of course! Oh, and I suppose I SHOULD really say ‘and taking time to sit and focus on writing songs at the piano….’!!!

RCS: That’s a very varied output! Don’t worry about the house – as soon as you’ve finished DIY it all starts over again, like painting the Forth Bridge. Theatre is one of my main interests – how do you find the change from “straightforward singing” (if I can call it that) to performing in musical theatre?

NF: I absolutely loved singing in ‘Annie’ because it was I was required to do a more ‘classical’ style of singing. I was using my soprano voice, and could do that with a cold, fever – anything! As Nicki French the singing artist, I’m known as more of a ‘belter’ – but I enjoy both. I tend to warm up my voice in a more classical sort of style, but then – anything goes (ooh, cue for another show)!!!

RCS: Ah yes – I’m sure you’d be excellent in a Cole Porter show! So do you have any new songs out at the moment? Any records we can buy? (he says, showing his age!)

NF: Ha ha! Me too!!! Well there are two quite recent tracks that are available – ‘Love to Call My Own’ and ‘In the Heat of the Night’. The first is quite a solid, club-type number, and the second has quite a Latin-American, salsa-type feel. They’re quite different – but have both been pretty popular I believe. Both these, and I think all my previous releases, are available from Amazon/itunes etc. I’m hoping to go into the studio and record a few more tracks very soon – although with the trip to Brazil looming, then panto, I’m not quite sure when we’ll get the chance to sort it! By the way, thanks for the compliment – a stint in the role of Liz Imbrie in High Society would do me VERY nicely, thank you! Someone else mentioned about the possibility of putting on a production of ‘Gypsy’ recently – and wanted me to play Mama Rose – imagine that!!! WOW!

RCS: That would be great! And yes, I can definitely see you in High Society – or how about Kiss me Kate?! And as for Gypsy… that could lead to great things! Good luck for fitting all that in – I’m sure a tour of Rio will prepare you well for the audiences in Kettering! Finally have you got any message for the composers and indeed the voters in this year’s Home Composed Song Contest?

NF: Well, first I’d like to thank them for reading this interview all the way through! Thank you as well Chris – you’ve been very patient!!! To the composers I would say I wish you all the very best of luck – and keep persevering! If you don’t win, it’s not the end of the world, and that lucky break IS just around the corner! To the voters – I recommend listening to a song at least three times. Some of the best songs I’ve sung and/or listened to have not grabbed me on the first, or even second, hearing – and many times my opinion has changed dramatically by the third listen. Don’t ignore your initial instincts, however give things a CHANCE!!! Good luck to everyone!!

RCS: Thanks very much Nicki for giving up your time to talk to us and we look forward to seeing you in panto and hopefully some new shows soon! And best of luck for Brazil too!

NF: Thank you so much!

Home Composed Song Contest 2011 – Calling all composers!

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Are you a fan of the Eurovision Song Contest and an amateur songwriter? If so, here is your chance to hit the big time!

The 19th Home Composed Song Contest is now up and running and you have until 2nd October to get your entries in.

Your host for this year is Andy Brook from London, who won last year’s contest for the United Kingdom with the rather sublime “Running on Empty”, performed by Londonvision featuring Tiina.

If you think you’ve got what it takes songwriting-wise, visit the contest’s website to get all the details.

I’ve been listening to the songs in the Home Composed Song Contest for a few years now and it’s always an enjoyable mix. I’ve been lucky enough to be on the Radio International jury in the past but every visitor to the site who listens to the songs can have a vote. So even if you aren’t a composer (like me) there’s still a lot of fun and musical entertainment to get out of the competition. And if you are a composer, who knows where it might lead! Good luck!

If you’ve got any queries about the contest, contact Andy through the HCSC website.

Eurovision Song Contest 2011 – The show, the party, the aftershocks

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For the third consecutive year our Eurovision Night has been in the form of co-hosting a party in a pub in Birmingham. We start off with some Eurovision music, have flags all over the place, a big screen to watch the show on, a sweepstake, a poll as to who is the party’s favourite, and we end up with a Eurovision disco till dawn. Well, not dawn, about 2am. We were extremely pleased with the numbers attending as we thought most of our Eurovision friends would be firmly ensconced in Düsseldorf, but we still had about 60 people in all, including someone who had flown back from Düsseldorf that morning, having watched the Friday evening dress rehearsal! Gosh.

It’s very difficult in a noisy party atmosphere to gauge the vocal nuances of the performances and generally speaking it seemed like an overall excellent performance from overall everyone. The big reactions at our party went to Hungary – no surprise there, being a schlagertastic favourite; Sweden, same applies; UK – also no surprise to be keen on our home team; and Spain – the thought of sunnily dancing to this song on the beach in Benidorm obviously cheered up the rather overcast streets of Birmingham. And indeed, the (perhaps) surprise favourite of our party, according to the votes submitted, was Spain!

When the early votes were favouring the UK there was, as you can imagine, vast amounts of whooping excitement, which later on turned to whoops of despair – “SIX from Ireland? TWO from Greece? Etc”. The very close results made for an exciting voting hour anyway. I really liked the use of a clever algorithm to sequence the votes in the most exciting way. The first ten juries each gave their twelve points to twelve different countries, and indeed only 5 countries out of the 25 didn’t get a douze points from someone. A whizzkid with a spreadsheet on a Eurovision chatboard I visit has worked out that Azerbaijan won with only 43.8% of the available scores, and as such is the winning song with the lowest proportion of marks since this current voting system started in 1975. Brotherhood of Man in 1976 have the highest proportion, since I know you’re asking.

It was an excellent party anyway, as I hope the attached photos will bear out. The Eurovision disco was finished off with a lovely cup of tea and a bag of crisps and bed at 3.30am. Then we had a nice Thai lunch in Birmingham on the Sunday before motoring home. But curiosity got the better of us and we decided to rewatch the programme on Sunday night to get the full “at home, highly quality audio, actually hearing what the commentator says” version of the show.

It looked spectacular. The backdrop fitted in with the performances beautifully. I didn’t like the presenters much, but I am grateful that they have now given rise to a new phrase “Danke, Anke” which I’m sure will have legs. The show is now so technically magical and visually stunning, we don’t need to have presenters doing comic turns trying to outdo it. I’d sooner see some decent, more elegant, more classy presenters let the songs do the work. However, I did think the opening sequence was great, with the 43 different Lenas all singing Satellite. On the other hand the interval act was one of the worst ever.

I think one of the biggest surprises was the poor showings of Hungary, Estonia, France and Russia. Watching closely, France was a nervous performance, and Estonia was a shouty one. Hungary was reasonably ok and Russia was good. I guess the Russian act and the Swedish act were very much competing for the same market and Eric’s act was slicker.

At the other end of the spectrum, although I am pleased that Italy did well inasmuch as it was their return after 14 years and hopefully this will give them the optimism and courage to keep with the contest again, I really cannot see the appeal of this song at all. I think its second placing means it is the most successful Eurovision jazz song ever, although success-wise it has little to beat.

And what of the UK? It was a reasonable performance; Lee’s first attempt at the top note didn’t go that well, but it was no worse a performance than many other countries’. Possibly the staging was a little old fashioned in retrospect. What is it with the UK and light boxes? Only one country awarded the UK twelve points – Bulgaria. The countries that voted for the UK were scattered all over Europe, so I hope that continues to put paid to the Woganesque lie that “the East never votes for us”. The UK received votes from Latvia, Moldova, Lithuania, Albania, Ukraine and Russia, for example, but didn’t get votes from Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Switzerland, Sweden or Germany.

So now, it’s Baku, city of dreams. Very tempted to try to go to this one. When else would one include Azerbaijan on one’s travels? And you can visit the Gobustan Rock Art World Heritage site to see stone-age graffiti. Sounds entertaining!

Eurovision Semi Final 2 2011 The Morning After

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For the second leg we decamped (geddit?) to the Stately Home of the Thane and Lady Duncansby, armed with BBC scorecards, Sauvignon Blanc and Kettle Chips. From the historical comfort of the Grand Drawing Room we witnessed 19 more songs of varying quality. Here are our reactions:

Bosnia & Herzegovina – a nice start from an old codger who is in fact younger than both the Thane and my good self. A crisp performance. Only the Thane didn’t put it in their top ten so we scored it 3/4.

Austria – That’s a wig, noted Lady D. We all thought Nadine was a great singer but that there were more entertaining songs. Only the Thane put it through. (1/4)

The Netherlands – a bit dull, and regrettably the lead singer with his hair and teeth slightly resembled a greasy rabbit. It was ok. (2/4)

Belgium – After about two minutes Mrs Chrisparkle exploded with “surely they’ve had their three minutes by now!” I guessed that the older generation would approve of this more. The beatbox sounded like he was in a padded cell – no bad thing. (2/4)

Slovakia – Excellent legs. Singing a bit off. Great legs. (2/4)

Ukraine – The sand artist show with minor musical background. Lots of “can you guess what it is yet?” in an Australian accent. Mika’s winged shoulder pads were mere pupae in comparison to last year’s Belarussian butterflies. (0/4)

Moldova – A performance that was already too weird for words before the unicyclist came in. The Thane read a pamphlet about camping sites. (0/4)

Sweden – An upbeat and slick presentation. “He’s straight??” commented at least one amazed onlooker. The glass smashing isn’t a patch on how it was in Melodifestivalen. (4/4)

Cyprus – We loved the swaying. We loved the sperm. We loved how the sperm swayed with the swayers. No chorus. (0/4)

Bulgaria – Good performance. Other stuff was better though. Not much to say. (1/4)

FYR Macedonia – I still think this song is fun, but I preferred the video. Great backdrop. The others more or less hated it. (1/4)

Israel – I only use the “f” word occasionally but it really was a fabulous three minutes. Ms International had an extraordinary dress constructed of unravelling raffia work. We knew DI had had a sex change but there was some confusion as to which direction it had gone. Great use of catwalk. Sang better than I expected. (4/4)

Slovenia – A cunning combination of dramatic and dull. Much admiration for the thigh boots. Nice top too. Maja must have gone to “Star by Julien Macdonald” at Debenhams. Mental note made for Mrs C’s Christmas present. (2/4)

Romania – Very good performance of a very good song. Everyone singing along. Stripey trousers. (4/4)

Estonia – Getter Jaani looking like a wide-eyed doe, dressed like a delicious liquorice allsort. Thought her singing was a bit off sometimes. “Woeful” said the Thane. Though originally she gave this song the nod, Lady D rejiggled her scores again after seeing Getter in interview and awarded her AV vote to the Netherlands instead. (1/4)

Belarus – Fun. Attractive performance. We tried some excellent alternatives, these work well: “I love Skelmersdale”; “I love Milton Keynes”; “I love Birmingham”. Northampton and Aylesbury just don’t scan as well unfortunately. (4/4)

Latvia – Showed my age by likening the rapping chap to the late Freddie Garrity. I love the song but felt it was all a bit static. “They’re not pulling it off are they” said the Thane. Probably just as well. (3/4)

Denmark – Within ten seconds of it starting: “I like it” said Lady D. “A winner” said the Thane. And we enjoyed the run around the stage. Satisfaction encapsulated in three minutes. (4/4)

Ireland – Our two households couldn’t be counted as Jedward fans. We all think the song is catchy. The descant of the backing singers drowned out the lads. The presentation wearied us and we didn’t really rate it I’m afraid. (0/4)

Not as successful a prediction of the ten finalists as we achieved on Tuesday. Only 4/10 for the Thane, 5/10 for the ladies and I got a massive 6/10. Big shock for me was Moldova getting through – admittedly they would have got douze points from Romania but who else would vote for that? Ukraine was also a surprise, I can only assume the voters went for Mystic Meg on the sand board and ignored Mika Newton. In the other direction, I really thought Dana International had done enough to qualify, she oozed star quality and class. I thought Ireland was unpredictable and I still can’t call how they will do on Saturday.

Thought Scott was much better last night, some very good lines and a much more confident delivery. Sara was also better but the interviews with foreign singers were pointless as they can’t understand her accent. I barely can myself.