And here’s another bundle of old theatre and dance memories! May to December 1999

  1. Carmen – Northern Ballet Theatre at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 6th May 1999

The always stunning and elegant Northern Ballet Theatre brought their production of Carmen, choreographed by one of our favourite dancers, Didy Veldman, to the 1999 Swan Dance season. Set in Rio de Janeiro, in 1999, this Carmen was a packer in a cigarette factory, Jose was a police officer and Escamillo a Rock Star. A fantastic re-imagining of the classic work, with superb performances by Charlotte Broom as Carmen and Daniel de Andrade – who today is Northern Ballet’s Artistic Associate – as Jose.

  1. Nederlands Dans Theater NDT2 – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 23rd May 1999

Another wonderful tour from the NDT’s youth company. The programme started with Round Corners, choreographed by Johan Inger, then we saw Déjà vu, choreographed by Hans van Manen, Skew-Whiff, choreographed by Paul Lightfoot, and finally Indigo Rose, choreographed by Jiri Kylian. It’s always a privilege to see this amazing company.

  1. La Sylphide – Ballet de l’Opera National de Paris at the Palais Garnier, Paris, 18th June 1999

Moving past a fairly bland revival of Anthony Shaffer’s Sleuth at the Wycombe Swan, starring Peter Bowles and Michael Maloney, our next show was a glamorous visit to the Palais Garnier in Paris, during a wonderful ten day holiday in the French capital. La Sylphide, with choreography by Pierre Lacotte, was given a tremendous, pure production, with Fanny Gaida dancing the title role, Manuel Legris as James and Delphine Moussin as Effie. I had never seen a production quite like it. And since then we’ve always tried to see a ballet at the Palais Garnier if we go to Paris.

  1. Rent – Shaftesbury Theatre, London, 19th August 1999

Rent had already been playing at the Shaftesbury for more than a year by the time we finally got around to seeing it. It was a great production, but for some reason – probably my age and latent conservatism – I’ve never quite got on with it as a show. Three of the roles – Mark, Mimi and Maureen – were played by understudies; I’m not sure if that played a part in how the show came across. Whatever, this production by Michael Greif, is a major part of musical theatre history.

  1. Rambert Dance Company 1999 Autumn Programme – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 14th & 16th October 1999

Rambert returned to Wycombe with two programmes – so we saw them both. The first programme started with Gaps Lapse and Relapse by Jeremy James, followed by my all-time favourite dance, Christopher Bruce’s Ghost Dances, and finally The Golden Section choreographed by Twyla Tharp.

The second programme was the full-length dance God’s Plenty, Christopher Bruce’s dance exploration of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. The classic company included Paul Liburd, Hope Muir, Matthew Hart, Laurent Cavanna, Christopher Powney, Glenn Wilkinson, Vincent Redmon, Didy Veldman, Marie-Laure Agrapart, and Rafael Bonachela.

  1. The Lion King – Lyceum Theatre, London, 19th October 1999

A good friend worked for one of the companies that sponsored The Lion King, and as a result he received an allocation of tickets for its first night, and he kindly invited us! So we walked on the red carpet (briefly) and went star-spotting in the bar. The show was good too! The original cast featured Josette Bushell-Mingo, Rob Edwards, Roger Wright, Martyn Ellis and Paul J Medford. Very enjoyable!

 

  1. Mark Morris Dance Company – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 23rd October 1999

I’ve always really liked the choreography and style of Mark Morris, so it was great to catch this brief tour, over from the United States. The programme was Dancing Honeymoon followed by The Argument; then after the interval, Bedtime followed by Grand Duo. All pieces were choreographed by Mark Morris. Hugely entertaining!

  1. Closer – Milton Keynes Theatre, 13th November 1999

We didn’t get to see the original West End run of Patrick Marber’s Closer so when this tour was announced it seemed like the perfect opportunity to plug that gap. A harsh and uncomfortable play, but beautifully performed and produced, with Amanda Ryan, Barnaby Kay, Darrel D’Silva and Lizzy McInnerny.

  1. Richard Alston Dance Company – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 3rd December 1999

We were really looking forward to seeing the return of the Richard Alston Dance Company, on what had already become a regular annual event. The programme was: Red Run, followed by Light Flooding into Darkened Rooms (which we had seen the previous year), and Roughcut. All pieces were choreographed by Richard Alston. A Sudden Exit had been scheduled for this performance but was replaced by Light Flooding at the last minute. The company was led by Martin Lawrance, but all the dancers were magnificent.

  1. Comic Potential – Lyric Theatre, London, 29th December 1999

Passing over yet another visit to see Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake, this time visiting Milton Keynes, and with Simon Cooper and Tom Ward in the iconic roles, our next show was the most recent Alan Ayckbourn to hit the West End, Comic Potential. Janie Dee and David Soul (yes Hutch himself) led the excellent cast that also featured Matthew Cottle. Low paid actoids have replaced actors in this sci-fi comedy set in a TV station of the future. Rather weird, but tremendous fun!

Review – The Final Sunday Online Comedy Zoom Gig by The Comedy Crate and the Atic – 28th March 2021

Comedy CrateAll good things have to come to an end. And even though it’s not a good thing, let’s hope the pandemic is one of them. But before that, Sunday night saw the last (allegedly) of the excellent online comedy gigs hosted by The Atic and The Comedy Crate through the unbelievably helpful Zoom. Ryan MoldOnce again our host was Ryan Mold, getting to know some of the online attendees, including part-time actor and recycling expert David, who may have to instruct our new local council in all things Green Bin – important work! Ryan also shared some of his new material relating to the pleasures of Facebook Marketplace, which is funnier than it sounds!

Laura LexxFive acts for our entertainment again, and first up was Laura Lexx, with a very sparky and confident approach to the world of zoom comedy, looking back on all the most dreadful moments of the lockdowns, including home haircuts and the unashamed purchase of a pricey dog. She also had some great material contrasting natural feminism with the need to be in comfy clothes. Very engaging and funny!

Philip SimonNext up, and new to us, was Philip Simon, who used a very showbiz backdrop to make us feel we really were at a comedy club. By contrast he has a rather gentle delivery, and enjoys clever wordplay in his material, giving rise to excellent observations about Geordie sheep-shaggers, withdrawal agreements, and how to make a man happy. He also had some entertaining material about home-schooling, which is something a lot of people can relate to!

ANick Pagefter Ryan was concerned about one of the audience members who had gone off – only to discover he was doing the washing-up (such is the dynamic of a zoom gig), our third act was Nick Page, also new to us, who has a very wry and dour persona; the kind of comic that makes you laugh even though he himself never breaks into a smile once. I really enjoyed his material about posh relatives, and the joys of becoming a father at the age of 50. He communicated a lot with individual audience members which integrated really well into his act – that can be a risky strategy online, but his natural authority meant no one wouldn’t dare co-operate! Very entertaining, and someone we would like to see again when the world gets back to normal.

Eshaan AkbarThen came Eshaan Akbar, whom we’ve seen a few times now and always mixes great observational comedy with food for thought. I really enjoyed his sequence about getting annoyed that people don’t pronounce his name properly – which has a nice sting in the tail, his struggle to get the attention and affection of his father, and why the Covid vaccine is the perfect Empire product. He always delivers his material with great fluidity and pinpoint accuracy, and I look forward to seeing him again sometime soon too.

paul-mccaffreyOur headline act was Paul McCaffrey, who had appeared on one of the other gigs earlier this spring. He also has great style and attack, and I loved all his stuff about marketing clothes through what celebrities wear, and also his observations about Twitter. He did repeat some of his material from his previous gig – but, if you hadn’t heard it before, it was very funny!

So this has been described as the last of these zoom gigs as we start to emerge from the blur of lockdown – but I wouldn’t be remotely surprised to see more online comedy from this team in the future!

Review – The Three Sections, Online Performance for Ffin Dance, 27th March 2021

From the very beginning of Lockdown 1.0 it seemed to me that dance was the most “at risk” sector of the Arts. Like sports players, dancers train from an early age to reach a physical peak probably in their early 20s and then they have, what, ten good years to perform to the best of their ability, before injuries start to take their toll? Dancers simply don’t have that many years to perform at their best. And when you lose complete years out of your repertoire – well that’s tough. Fortunately, even a pandemic can’t extinguish the desire to create and find new ways for artistic expression. Of course, live theatres are not an option right now; but performers may have a new friend in the form of  Zoom. A year ago, we’d barely heard of it; today, where would we be without it?

Liam RiddickIn an action-packed fifteen minutes, Liam Riddick’s new work for Ffin Dance, The Three Sections, takes the restrictions enforced on it by both Zoom and the pandemic, and works them to its advantage. He has taken Steve Reich’s 1987 composition The Four Sections for its vibrant musical accompaniment, dropping its longer string first section and leaving us with the remaining three parts in all their quirky orchestral splendour. It’s a great choice for contemporary dance, as it challenges both performer and audience to react to and interpret all its different moods and meanings.

By inviting us into the private living spaces of the dancers, Riddick has created an intimate but expansive piece, which reveals not only the claustrophobic imprisonment of working within one room but also the desire to reach out and spill into others. With Catrin Lewis beside her bed, Georgina Turier-Dearden accompanied by a chest of drawers and Julian Lewis in front of his TV set, Riddick gives us a virtual dolls’ house; you’re aware that in real life those rooms aren’t in the same building, yet the movement builds a connection and a story that unites them. At first performing independently, the links start to forge between the dancers, sometimes two by two, sometimes all three, so that their movements start to harmonise.

Despite the inevitable problems and frustrations they will have faced during the creation of this piece (during Lockdown 2.0) with all four people being in separate buildings – indeed, different countries! – together they have created a lively, charming, witty and strangely moving piece that both highlights the individual performers’ characters and encourages them into an ensemble.

Even though individual small spaces have their natural limitations, it’s great to see how combining them can create a much larger performance space. With the dancers sometimes clinging to their back walls, at other times coming right out into the camera at the front, you really get a surprise feeling of performance on a grand stage.

I particularly admired that inexorable progress towards performing as a perfect trio. By linking the dancers and their separate spaces with dynamic choreography, flashes of humour, yearnings for freedom and their tacit shared understanding of how they all relate to each other, The Three Sections not only leaps from room to room but also successfully makes the big jump from the screen into our homes too. Technically superb, and exciting and entrancing to watch – a beautiful new work for the online age.

Photos of the dancers (in An Inspector Calls) by Paul Trask

The James Bond Challenge – The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Man with the Golden GunIn which James Bond sets out on an unofficial mission to track down Scaramanga, who has sent MI6 a golden bullet with 007 carved on it; he has to find Scaramanga before Scaramanga finds him! However, there are no photographs of his enemy, so no one knows what he looks like –  whereas everyone knows what Bond looks like. A big task for 007, but is he up to the challenge? Of course he is!

Roger Moore as BondFor a pay cheque of $240,000 plus 2.5% of the profits, Roger Moore was willing to reprise the role of Bond for a second shot. This would be the last time that producers Harry Saltzman and Cubby Broccoli would work together as Eon Productions; after the film was released, Saltzman sold his 50% stake in Eon’s parent company, Danjaq, to United Artists, the legalities of which delayed the appearance of the next film, The Spy Who Loved Me, for three years. The Man with the Golden Gun was a box office success, although not as successful as Live and Let Die, grossing $97.6 million at the box office on a budget of $7 million.

Guy HamiltonTed Moore was once again engaged as Cinematographer, but was replaced during filming by Oswald Morris, due to illness. Morris didn’t want the job, because he’d been in the position of taking over from another cinematographer several times before, knew the pitfalls, and he didn’t enjoy it. But he was wined and dined by Cubby Broccoli and allowed himself to be bribed into it. Morris was a seasoned cinematographer whose first film, The Card, was made in 1952, and whose last, The Dark Crystal, was in 1982. This was Morris’ only work on a James Bond film; and it was also Ted Moore’s last, even though he remained active in the industry for the next eight years. Raymond Poulton returned as editor, along with John Shirley; Guy Hamilton returned for his fourth and final time as Director, refusing to do more Bond films afterwards as he had run out of ideas. Regular composer John Barry returned to score the film but only had three weeks to work on it, and considers it the least successful of all his scores for Bond. Design was by Peter Burton, who had designed Thunderball, and the screenplay credits were shared by Tom Mankiewicz, who wrote the first draft, and Richard Maibaum, who was brought back to revise it.

Man with the Golden Gun novelThe Man with the Golden Gun was published posthumously in 1965 and was the twelfth and final novel in Ian Fleming’s series of books, although Octopussy/The Living Daylights was published later as a collection of short stories. Fleming wrote it in the first few months of 1964 but ill health prevented him from enhancing the bare bones of it, and the relative thinness of the plot is probably due to the fact that Fleming never had the opportunity to fill the story out at a second re-writing stage. As often happened, some of the characters were based on people Fleming knew in real life; he was at school (and often fought with) a boy he loathed by name of George Scaramanga.

007 bulletThe film is a very loose adaptation of the book. In both, Bond works his way into meeting Scaramanga, whose weapon of choice is a gold Colt 45 that shoots golden bullets; eventually he corners Scaramanga and kills him. Beyond that, the film and the book diverge. In the book, Bond had been brainwashed in the Soviet Union into attempting to assassinate M – fortunately he fails; Scaramanga’s evil plans are to destabilise the Jamaica sugar industry, with drug running and smuggling prostitutes as side interests; and Bond meets up with old CIA pal Felix Leiter who helps him to kill Scaramanga. The book is largely set in Jamaica, but the production team thought that was too repetitive after Live and Let Die, so they relocated the story to Macau, Hong Kong, and Thailand, which allowed them to cash in with some karate and kung fu scenes that were very popular at the time – but nothing to do with the book. The characters of Nick Nack, Andrea Anders, and Pepper were all creations for the film.

Ian FlemingPerhaps unexpectedly, the book received polite, if lukewarm reviews. Knowing that its writer was ill when it was written, and had since died, reviewers tended to give Fleming the benefit of the doubt. The Observer commented “perhaps Ian Fleming was very tired when he wrote it. Perhaps … he left it unrevised. The fact remains that this posthumous Bond is a sadly sub-standard job.” Time magazine was less generous, saying “it may have been just as well that Fleming died when everybody still thought he could do no wrong.” Ian Fleming’s biographer, Henry Chandler, noted that the novel “received polite and rather sad reviews, recognizing that the book had effectively been left half-finished, and as such did not represent Fleming at the top of his game.”

Scaramanga and Nick NackThe film, however, couldn’t blame problems with the screenplay on a largely unfinished novel. The Guardian was savage with its critique, saying that “the script is the limpest of the lot and … Roger Moore as 007 is the last man on earth to make it sound better than it is.” The New York Times considered the film to suffer from “poverty of invention and excitement”, criticising the writing and Moore’s performance and finding Hervé Villechaize as Nick Nack and Christopher Lee as Scaramanga, as the only positive points for their “sinister vitality that cuts through the narrative dough”. Of the more recent reviews, American critic Danny Peary wrote that the film “lacks invention … is one of the least interesting Bond films” and is “a very laboured movie, with Bond a stiff bore, Adams and Britt Ekland uninspired leading ladies”.

Opening Credits BloodAs usual, the opening credits begin, with Maurice Binder’s iconic glimpse of Bond walking across the screen whilst being captured by the barrel of a gun, only for him to turn around, see us, and shoot; and then for the blood to start filling up the screen. What makes it slightly different in this film is the rather jaunty, easy-listening treatment given to Monty Norman’s James Bond Theme, with some enjoyable strings and brass.

Scaramanga and AndreaThe opening scene features Scaramanga and Anders on a beach, being brought some champagne by Nick Nack – her sensually drying him off providing the cue for some visual humour with the fizz popping and spuming in time with the sexual undertones of the scene. Then there follows a rather long and drawn out encounter between a Chicago gangster who’s been engaged to kill Scaramanga both as an exercise for keeping Scaramanga alert and on top of his game, and also for the chance for Nick Nack to inherit his money if the gangster were to be successful. After being confused and disturbed by a number of fairground attractions, that have been installed in Scaramanga’s lair, Rodney the gangster is disadvantaged and Scaramanga eventually kills him instead. However, it’s all rather slow and humourless, and comes across as probably the least interesting opening scene of any Bond film so far.

Opening creditsThen the credits resume with Lulu’s performance of The Man with the Golden Gun, an innuendo-filled theme that has not stood the test of time at all well. “He has a powerful weapon […] Love is required whenever he’s hired […] Who will he bang? […] He’ll shoot anyone with his golden gun.” The silhouette of a naked dancing lady cheers the title sequence up a bit, but for the most part it’s a rather unimaginative series of faces and bodies distorted by water reflection. They’re insufficiently artistic to impress you with the artistry, and insufficiently sexy to inspire you the other way. In fact, the film doesn’t have a lot going for it so far!

Scaramanga IslandAnd the locations? The original plan – which sounds bizarre today – was to film in Iran, and in fact the creative team travelled out there to spec out locations. But on their way back, the Yom Kippur War started and that put an end to that plan. So Plan B was for Bond to track Scaramanga down through an eastern Odyssey of Macau, Hong Kong and Thailand, plus, of course, M’s office in London. Some of the filming took place around the capsized Queen Elizabeth in Hong Kong Harbour, before the authorities removed it. Whilst filming in Hong Kong the cast and crew stayed at the Peninsula Hotel, which also features in the film and looks every inch the best place to stay. As does Hai Fat’s pad in Bangkok – the location for filming his Pad Thai (sorry, I had to include that pun) was the Hong Kong Dragon Garden, in the New Territories. The outside of the Bottoms Up strip club was filmed in Kowloon, although the interiors were filmed at Pinewood; and they used the floating Casino de Macau because there weren’t any casinos in the more “puritan” Hong Kong.

Bond and SaidaBond, James Bond. Although he received quite a lot of criticism for his performance, I thought Roger Moore warmed into Bond better than he did in Live and Let Die. He’s less smarmy, less of a smart-arse (although I’m sure you can blame the scriptwriters for that), a little more animated and a little more believable. He does get to say the magic words, Bond James Bond – in fact, the full “Good evening, my name is Bond, James Bond” when he introduces himself to Beirut Belly Dancer Saida, played with enthusiasm by sometime Royal Shakespeare Company actor Carmen du Sautoy (the “du” is omitted from the credits on the film.) He also says it when he introduces himself to Lazar. A rather dark tone is set by having the character of Bond noticeably more sadistic in this film. He gives Andrea several slaps about the face, he rejoices in aiming to shoot Lazar in his nether regions, and he even pushes the souvenir-selling boy out of the boat. Apparently, Moore wasn’t happy with either his treatment of Andrea or the boy, believing that Bond would have worked out a more elegant solution to both problems. Lazar’s goolies, however, seemed to be fair game.

Dead AndreaBoo-boos. As always, a few mistakes made their way onto the screen. When Andrea Anders is sitting, dead, next to Bond, you can see Maud Adams move twice; once her nostril flares, and another time you can see the level of her hat go up and down in time with her breathing. And when Nick Nack starts flinging the wine bottles at Bond to keep him at bay, hardly any wine splashes out from the bottles – because they’re fake, empty bottles! And then when Bond and Goodnight walk around all the glass debris, they don’t cut themselves. When Bond gets roughed up in Saida’s dressing room, you can see the reflection of camera and crew members in her full length mirror; and you can also clearly see the actor who plays the mannequin of Al Capone blink twice.

Maud Adams as AndreaThe Bond Girl. As usual, it’s not entirely clear at first who is going to develop into the role of Bond Girl at the beginning of this film, and to be fair, the honours are shared by having two Bond Girls. First we see Maud Adams, as Andrea Anders, Scaramanga’s lover, reclining sexily on the beach; and as her part in the story increases, she starts to switch sides to Bond’s favour. She reveals to Bond that it was she who sent the bullet to MI6, to encourage Bond to seek Scaramanga out and kill him, because she saw that as her only chance of escaping his clutches. However that disloyalty dooms her to an early death; thus she’s the tragic Bond Girl in this film. Maud Adams was born in Lulea, Sweden, in 1945 and also plays “The Bond Girl” in Octopussy, in 1983. She’s enjoyed a long and successful career as an actor and model.

Britt Ekland as GoodnightPlaying the more positive and sunny aspects of Bond Girlhood is Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight, who was originally written as Bond’s secretary in the novels by Fleming, but by the time of The Man with the Golden Gun, Fleming had imagined her as an agent based in Kingston, Jamaica. Britt Ekland plays Mary Goodnight with more vacuousness than is really good for her – part intentional, and part not. The Sunday Mirror described Goodnight as “an astoundingly stupid blonde British agent”. Britt Ekland was also born in Sweden, in 1942, and has also enjoyed a long and successful career as both actor and celebrity. Although there are two Bond girls in this film – for the first time in the series – although I think Goodnight trumps Anders, to be considered as the main Bond Girl – if only because she’s still alive in the final reel.

Goodnight bottom shotWhat Bond Girls Are Like. Apart from the Japanese heritage that sets You Only Live Twice’s Kissy apart from the rest of the Girls, our currently agreed list of attributes common to the Bond Girls is: sexy, exotic, unpredictable, as equally likely to attack Bond as to support him, strong and self-reliant up to a point, sometimes tragic, professional, scary, vengeful, bossy – but with a vulnerable side. How well do these two Bond girls conform to the role? Goodnight has some of those qualities – she definitely gets resentful when she thinks Bond is with another woman – and she’s also rather dumb and liable to get things badly wrong, such as when she turns on the Manual Overide (sic) button with her bottom, without realising it. Where Goodnight brings a certain clumsy charm to the Bond Girl persona, Andrea Anders brings sophistication as well as being dangerously vulnerable. So, on the whole, both girls fit the bill pretty well.

ScaramangaThe Villain.  In an unusual structure for a Bond film, we meet the villain in the first few seconds. Francisco Scaramanga, played by Christopher Lee, is a top-notch assassin, charging a million dollars per kill, known for his personal secrecy and anonymity. From that point of view he is a million miles away from the likes of Goldfinger, who lives a brash and showy lifestyle. He has a fascination with all things circus, because his father used to run one. Allegedly, the boy Scaramanga was a trick-shot pistol marksman at the age of ten and by the age of fifteen was an international assassin-for-hire. I blame the parents. Whereas most Bond villains are very snappy dressers, always appearing immaculate in their expensive suits, Scaramanga is a much more casual type, frequently found loafing around in his open necked shirt. Nevertheless he is charming and urbane, and generous in his appreciation of others’ talents. He’d still kill you as soon as look at you, though. Christopher Lee, best known for his appearance in countless horror movies, was actually Ian Fleming’s step-cousin, and Fleming’s own first choice to play the role of Dr No back in 1962. He was born in 1922 and died in 2015 at the age of 93.

Nick NackOther memorable characters? Probably even more memorable than the villain himself, is his sidekick Nick Nack, who acts as his personal servant, butler and henchman, enabler of villainy, encourager of challenges and all-round aide-de-camp. Unusually, he doesn’t actually die at the end of the film, he’s simply hoist inside a dangling cage on the junk sailing out to sea. He was played by Hervé Villechaize, a French-American actor born in Paris in 1943, who got his big break with this role, and who went on to spend seven years as Tattoo in the American TV series Fantasy Island. Despite his success and popularity, his is a sad story; he died by suicide in 1993, unable to endure the chronic pain he suffered from having internal organs too large for his small body.

PepperClifton James returned as the loutish Sheriff J. W. Pepper, a creation of the writer Tom Mankiewicz, who had written him into Live and Let Die. He was given this extra role because Guy Hamilton had really enjoyed him in the previous Bond film. Here he is on holiday with his souvenir-hunting wife Maybelle, first getting splashed by Bond being chased, and then being pushed into the canal by a baby elephant. He accidentally gets caught up in Bond’s car chase – an experience he thoroughly enjoys. Personally, I thought he was a dire inclusion in Live and Let Die, but provides a good comic interlude in this film.

Hai FatElsewhere, Richard Loo played Hai Fat, the millionaire Thai industrialist who had paid Scaramanga to assassinate the inventor of the Solex energy device so that he could steal it. It’s an enjoyable, no nonsense performance. Richard Loo was originally a businessman, but the Wall Street Crash made him think again, and he ended up appearing in around 120 films, The Man in the Golden Gun being his last film appearance.

HipThere’s also a nice performance by Soon-Taik Oh as Lieutenant Hip, Bond’s contact in Hong Kong and Bangkok. Born in Korea, his family emigrated to the United States just before the Korean war, and he enjoyed a successful acting career on stage, TV and in film – his biggest success being the voice of Fa Zhou in Disney’s Mulan. His agent was Bessie Loo – the wife of the aforementioned Richard Loo! And Marne Maitland played the self-confident but ultimately outsmarted Lazar, the gunsmith who creates Scaramanga’s bullets; he appeared in many TV programmes and films over the years, including Pandit Baba in Granada TV’s The Jewel in the Crown.

MAs usual, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell reprise their roles as M and Moneypenny; she just for one scene, but M, unusually, appears in four scenes, because he travels out to Hong Kong to keep an eye on what Bond is up to. His secret office is located on board the capsized Queen Elizabeth, in a piece of genius set design and imagination. Q is back, having missed out on Live and Let Die, still played by Desmond Llewellyn, and is given a couple of opportunities to dismiss and disapprove of Bond’s tactics and demands.

John_BarryAnd what about the music? John Barry was his own worst critic for his soundtrack for this film, and is quoted as saying “It’s the one I hate most… it just never happened for me.” Ironically though, I feel that the oriental instrumentation on the familiar themes makes rather a pleasant change on the ears. There’s not much in the way of incidental music though, and what little there is, is rather repetitive. Lulu’s voice for the title theme doesn’t feel as though it suits the style of the song to me at all, and it certainly doesn’t feature in the list of iconic Bond themes and performances.

Corkscrew jumpCar chases.  There’s one exciting car chase where Bond, accompanied by a buoyed-up Pepper, drives a car out of a showroom (directly through the plate glass) and takes it on a mad run, following Scaramanga and Nick Nack through the streets of Bangkok; with the inevitable accompaniment of also being chased by the police. There’s one particularly exciting scene where Bond performs a corkscrew jump to cross a river, but it’s ruined by a ridiculous comedy swanee whistle sound effect, which John Barry later regretted because it undermines the entire stunt.  Before then, there’s also a boat chase through the klongs of Bangkok, with Chula and others from the Karate School tracking Bond over water, until their boat gets stopped by another turning around, and Bond takes the opportunity to slice it in two by driving through it.

Nick Nack champagnedCocktails and Casinos. No cocktails here, just plenty of champagne, including a bottle that pops saucily on the beach in the opening credits, another bottle opened between Bond and Andrea after he’s given her the rough treatment, the bottle of Phuyuck (not strictly champagne, and an obvious pun intended) that Bond shares with Goodnight at the Thai hotel and one that Scaramanga treats as target practice when he greets Bond as he arrives on his island. There is also one casino scene – it’s at the Casino de Macau where Andrea receives the golden bullets from Lazar.

Scaramanga's flying carGadgets. There are some gadgets, but the majority of them are used by the enemy. Lazar’s gun, made for a client missing two fingers, where you squeeze the butt rather than pull a trigger; the Solex Agitator itself (“the essential unit to convert radiation from the sun into electricity on an industrial basis”, according to Q), the false third nipple that disgusts Q, the homing button on Goodnight’s dress. The golden gun itself is a cleverly constructed piece of kit, as it gets made out of three other golden accessories!  But the crowning glory must be Scaramanga’s car that converts into an aeroplane.

In MemoriamIn Memoriam. In a running count of deaths in Bond movies, Dr No previously held the record for the lightest number of fatalities at around 11; Thunderball is looking pretty heavy at around 50 people; but Diamonds are Forever is lethal at around 70. How does The Man with the Golden Gun compare? Let’s briefly look back at those who gave their lives so that Bond can finally have his junk and a good night (with Goodnight):

  1. Rodney, the gangster
  2. 3 guys in Saida’s dressing room (but they might not be dead)
  3. Gibson
  4. Two men who die in fights to the death at the Karate School (one of them is definitely dead, the other might just be stunned!)
  5. Ten or so left clinging on to life at the Karate school (who knows how many of them are dead?)
  6. Hai Fat
  7. Andrea
  8. Scaramanga
  9. Kra

That’s actually a very modest toll for a Bond movie.

NippleHumour to offset the death count. It’s a sad reflection on the film that there are very few of the regular smart-alec bon mots whenever someone dies or whenever someone has a sexual encounter. The few funny lines that there are, tend to be given at other plot points.

When Saida realises that her belly-button charm is missing after the fight in her dressing room, she cries “Ah! I’ve lost my charm!” “Not from where I’m standing” replies Bond.

When Bond catches Andrea in her hotel room shower, and she opens its door to reveal a gun pointing at him, he asks, “a water pistol?”

When Bond explains that Hai Fat invited Bond to dinner, he tells Hip, “he must have found me quite titillating.”

Goodnight talking of how she killed Kra (by pushing him into the absolute zero helium tank): “I laid him out cold”.

Bond, to M, who wants to speak to Goodnight on the phone whilst Bond is making passionate love to her: “She’s just coming, sir.”

Kra and GoodnightAny less frothy elements? So once again it’s time to consider if there are any outstanding themes or elements that don’t sit well with today’s audience, and perhaps surprisingly there’s not a lot to go on. There’s a little latent racism from Pepper towards the locals; and the creepy henchman Kra, treating Goodnight’s body as a plaything doesn’t feel entirely right. But this is an under-written Bond, so there’s little scope for offence.

 ExpositionsBizarre other stuff that occurred to me and a few observations.

My original reaction to the film was that it’s quite dull, boring and with very little story! Watching this film, it felt for the first time that my James Bond Challenge could be an arduous experience. There are two main scenes of exposition – the first two that feature M – where we find out what Bond’s tasks in the film are. Everything else is how he does or doesn’t meet those tasks, so it feels very pedestrian. However, I must admit that after watching it three times, I warmed towards it a little – it has an understated elegance which is quite appealing. It does, however, truly miss out on humour.

CinematographyAlthough Oswald Morris was unhappy at taking over the role of cinematographer from the ailing Ted Moore, visually this film is superb. It’s down to the script that sometimes you feel like it’s more of a travelogue than a spy movie, but it always looks luscious.

It’s never explained why the three thugs attack Bond at the Beirut night club. If they’re working for Scaramanga and guarding Saida’s bullet-belly-button-charm, so that no one can trace it back to him, you can’t help thing there are easier ways of keeping that charm safe. Scaramanga's lairBut as someone said many years before – it’s best not to think too hard about the plots of Bond films. It was a nice touch for Bond to squirt the great smell of Brut into one of those henchmen’s faces, as Moore had been part of an advertising campaign for the company.

Solar AgitatorThe fascination regarding solar power seems very old hat now! Many people now have their own solar panels on their roofs. It’s hard to believe it was once seen as a route to world domination.

duelA duel to the death seems remarkably formal and traditional – but it was a feature of Fleming’s novel. It was based on the duel in the 1955 film, Shane. Scaramanga describes it as “the only true test for gentlemen”. Although the script is slight, the fact that Nick Nack will inherit all Scaramanga’s wealth if Bond kills him does add an unexpected twist to the final showdown.

niecesThe actors who played Hip’s two young lady companions – his “nieces”, whom Bond at first tries to protect, but turn out to be karate experts – were actually members of a local judo club. But are they really his nieces? Maybe Bond is not the only womaniser on MI6’s side.

Wei Wei WongWei Wei Wong, who played the topless waitress at the Bottoms Up club, and who also danced in the opening titles, appeared in a few films but was best known for her Saturday night BBC TV appearances as part of the light entertainment dance troupe, The Young Generation.

They drove off and left himWhy did Hip and the two karate girls drive off and leave Bond behind?

Awards: None!

The Spy who Loved MeTo sum up: Despite a few nice moments and surprising subtleties, I’d say this was the worst of the Bond films so far. The primary problem is with the script, which is lifeless and boring, and doesn’t provide any memorable lines or jokes. Although it may not have been Britt Ekland’s sparkling vocal delivery that got her the job in the first place, her performance tends towards the bland and faltering. Moore is better than in his first role, and the cinematography is excellent. Otherwise this is a very disappointing film!  There would be a three year wait until the next film, The Spy Who Loved Me. Let’s hope it’s worth the wait!

My rating: 2 Sparkles

4 Sparkles4 Sparkles

 

 

 

 

All photos from the film of course belong to their various copyright holders.

And another bunch of theatre memories… February to April 1999

All but one of these were at the Wycombe Swan!

  1. Ennio Marchetto – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 12th February 1999

A hilarious show in the company of this brilliant impersonator who uses unfolding paper costumes to reveal his characters. Sadly mis-booked by the theatre, in that it was clearly designed to be one part of a double bill, so that when we were all packing up to go home, barely forty minutes after we’d sat down, front of house were visibly embarrassed at how short-changed we’d been! Nevertheless, hugely funny and entertaining.

  1. The Prisoner of Second Avenue – Oxford Playhouse, 15th February 1999

Neil Simon’s 1971 play, that was made into a hit film four years later, toured with the terrific casting of Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason, Neil Simon exponents par excellence. I remember feeling that the story itself was quite dated and not terribly interesting, but it was great to see such a distinguished cast doing it superbly.

  1. Twisted – Motionhouse Dance Company at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, February 1999

An exhilarating return of this exciting contemporary dance company to Wycombe’s Swan Dance season. From the programme: “An airborne toxic event has occurred – “something” has been released into the atmosphere. What is more dangerous – the unknown substance or the mystery that surrounds it? News spreads like wildfire – hype begets rumour which creates panic. Fortunately help is at hand, or is it? As events become distorted so people and things become twisted.” In retrospect, incredibly prescient!

  1. Mark Baldwin Dance Company – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 26th February 1999

Mark Baldwin’s own dance company, which he ran from 1993 until he became Artistic Director of Rambert, always starred Baldwin’s own elegant and attractive choreography. This programme featured Pulcinella Disperato, Darkness Visible, M-Piece, and Song of the Nightingale. The small company were Shelley Baker, Bart de Block, Richard Court, Martin Lindinger and Mark Baldwin himself.

  1. The New Rocky Horror Show – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 1st March 1999

I’m not entirely sure what was new about this; I don’t think the show itself had changed, must just have been a new production. It’s a shame that I don’t remember much about Jason Donovan’s performance as Frank N Furter, but I do remember that Nicholas Parsons was absolutely brilliant as the Narrator. The cast also featured Laurie Brett, better known as Eastenders’ Jane Beale. Rocky Horror is often a bit… messy, I reckon, and this was no exception!

  1. Dance Bites – Royal Ballet at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 11th March 1999

The last ever Dance Bites tour featured four ballets of the highest quality, and with a company that included Darcey Bussell and Deborah Bull. First up was Love’s Fool, to music by Karl Jenkins, and choreographed by William Tuckitt. Next was Walk and Talk, choreographed by Ashley Page, followed by Monotones with music by Erik Satie, and choreographed by Frederick Ashton. The final piece was Towards Poetry, music by Julian Anderson and choreography by Mark Baldwin. We were always very appreciative of the Royal Ballet coming out to perform on our patch!

  1. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) – The Reduced Shakespeare Company at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 18th March 1999

Even though the original production was still running in London, this touring production of the Reduced Shakespeare Company’s hilarious adaptation of the works of William Shakespeare called at the Wycombe Swan for a couple of nights of sheer comedy perfection. The brilliant cast were Rick Bland, Christian Malcolm, Michael O’Connor and John Schwab. We still quote lines from this today.

  1. The Return of Don Juan – Arc Dance Company at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 23rd March 1999

It’s still extraordinary to think that we bought front stalls to see this show, with principal dancer Irek Mukhamedov, for a mere £6.25 each! Kim Brandstrup’s comic ballet had premiered earlier that month at Sadlers Wells, and the lavish production virtually bankrupted Brandstrup’s Arc Company. Full of excitement and showing-off, a really fun and virtuoso night of dance!

  1. Earth and Sky – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 10th April 1999

Douglas Post’s thriller starred Sam Janus (before she became Samantha Womack) and Joe McGann and had originated at the now defunct Nuffield Theatre Southampton. Mr Post’s website gives a fascinating account of what this play is about. If only I could remember one thing about it. But alas I can’t.

  1. Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 26th April 1999

Our second ever visit to see the Trocks featured a classic programme beginning with Swan Lake Act II, then (as always) a mystery pas de deux to be announced on the night, Go for Barocco (which is always hilarious), The Dying Swan, executed by Comrade Ida Nevasayneva as it nearly always was when she was in town, and finally Raymonda’s Wedding. It’s a sign of the times that the programme includes the statement “Les Trockadero would like to dedicate this performance to the memory of all Trocks who have died of AIDS”. It was an always present threat. As always, an evening of blistering joy.

Lockdown Armchair Travel – Spain – Granada, 2017

Time for another Lockdown Armchair Travel memory, and we’re still on the letter S. And S is, of course, for Spain, a country I’ve visited so many times during my life, from the Costas to the cities to the islands, and I always love it. I hummed and hahhed a lot deciding where in Spain I should pick for this travel memory and decided on the beautiful Andalucian city of Granada, which we visited for a long weekend in June and July 2017. So, what do you think of, when you think of Granada (apart from the Manchester ITV station and TV rental sets of course!) Probably here:

The Alhambra! And where better to start our roaming around the city. I was lucky enough to go there when I was twelve, on holiday with my mum, and it’s a place that’s full of history, and beauty and memories.

Doors and alleyways lead you into room after room of Moorish moreishness!

Arabesque archways and Islamic calligraphy abound

And you just get lost in the beauty of it all

The Courtyard of the Lions is probably the most famous part

With those lions everywhere

In the Alhambra, there are no trials and tribulations, only tiles and tessellations!

The Courtyard of the Palace of Carlos V is used for concerts

And the views from the top are stunning!

And the Generalife gardens are the perfect place to relax after a couple of hours’ intense sightseeing

I have an old guidebook from my 1973 visit that quotes a rather over-the-top and dramatic poem: “Give him alms! There is no greater tribulation in life than being blind in Granada”. Those were different times.

Hard to believe, but there’s more to Granada than just the Alhambra. The cathedral is magnificent.

It’s one of those cathedrals that lends itself to exciting angles and moody corners

Not to mention the ridiculous wealth of the gold inside, of course

Elsewhere, the city has traditional Andalucian architecture

The city also looks beautiful at night

It’s a terrific place and you come home with great memories of charm and grandeur

Not to mention lions!

Review – The Penultimate Sunday Night Comedy Zoom Gig with the Comedy Crate and the Atic – 21st March 2021

Comedy CrateIf it’s Sunday at 6pm then it’s time for the next comedy zoom gig courtesy of those nice people at the Comedy Crate and the Atic. For this show, usual host Ryan Mold handed the reins over to the excellent Rich Wilson, whom we saw MC’ing one of their shows in the garden of Northampton’s Black Prince last year. Rich WilsonHe treated the show very much as he would have a real live show, starting off by chatting individually with a lot of the audience to warm us up for what was to come. This isn’t always easy on a zoom gig but he committed to it perfectly! Amongst his introductory gems were the pros and cons of TikTok and why you never see ghosts in the nude. He’s truly a dab hand at this game, and he kept the pace going nicely throughout the entire show.

president_obonjoApart from Mr W, all the comics in the line up were new to us, and it’s been many a year since I’ve been able to say that! First up was President Obonjo, the alter ego of comedian Benjamin Bello, who seized control of the Lafta Republic by means of an “election”. It’s a wonderful comic creation, with so much scope for the boot’s on the other foot comparisons between first and third world countries – especially post-Brexit. I loved the idea of a new Live-Aid; and the Good President’s address turned into an advert for tourism to his unfortunate nation. Very funny, and I’d love to see him in more natural surroundings sometime soon.

Gareth BerlinerNext we had Gareth Berliner, clearly a naturally funny guy, whose cam angle made it look as though he was begging us for mercy from somewhere down below. No need to beg, as he had some lovely observations about life in lockdown. He conjured up a nice image – whilst missing real gigs, his wife MC’s him into the lounge to make him feel at home. I loved his alternative idea to being clinically vulnerable, and how he befriends burglars, just for company. There’s also a very funny visual punchline with his tattoo of Sweden – don’t ask. Very enjoyable.

Rachel JacksonThird up was Rachel Jackson – definitely not the Prime Minister’s sister as I originally feared – who risked her ten minutes on their being horror fans in the audience – which elicited just one voice of support! Nevertheless she strode courageously on with some material about the film Saw, (which we never did) – but a lot of people had, so at least they got the jokes! Despite our not getting some of the references, she’s a gifted deliverer of material, with a lively madcap persona and bundles of enthusiasm; and we also really enjoyed the idea of her sexting the government. Oh, and if you’re a fat guy – you’re in. Cue all the fat guys preening to cam.

Gianmarco SoresiOur fourth act came to us all the way from New York City – Gianmarco Soresi. What a brilliant comic he is! A breath of fresh air from the start, he had us in hysterics from the word go, with hilarious and effortless observations, all delivered with a truly adroit turn of phrase. Among his superb nuggets was the wonderful insight into why Catholic jokes never get old, his dating experiences with masks, and how you can date en famille. His humour has an element of self-deprecation (actually more of self-creepery if such a thing exists) and works incredibly well. I do hope we get to see him perform live in the UK, as he could be The Next Best Thing.

Brennan ReeceOur headline act was Brennan Reece, a very engaging chap who tells wayward and meandering tales, where the fun is more in the getting there than in reaching the final destination. There were some excellent sequences including the door to door vaccine salesman and the depressed dog, but the joy of his performance was more in the throwaway side observations and turns of phrase. He’s another naturally very funny guy, and a great way to end the show.

Only one more of these Sunday night gigs to come. Will you be there? We will!

The George Orwell Challenge – Hop Picking (1931)

George Orwell typingDespite his middle class background and apparent financial security (or maybe because of it?) Orwell spent several periods of his life deliberately homeless, to find out for himself what it actually felt like to be destitute – and so he could write about it afterwards. His equivalent today would be one of those undercover journalists who hide a microphone somewhere discreet about their person and then infiltrate an organisation under an alias to reveal the truth about what they get up to. His diaries show that for three weeks in September 1931 he journeyed down to Kent to work in the hop fields, getting to know the type of people involved in this activity, and in particular befriending a chap called Ginger. Orwell describes him in his diary as “a strong, athletic youth of twenty six, almost illiterate and quite brainless, but daring enough for anything. Except when in prison, he has probably broken the law every day for the last five years.”

Accompanied by other characters populating his diaries, he and Ginger travel, work, sleep and generally survive side by side throughout the whole exhausting adventure. Never averse to using pseudonyms, Orwell (Blair) adopted the name P S Burton when roaming around the country, assuming a cockney accent, and seemingly fitting in very well with his new-found companions, although he never shies away from judging these people – he often weighs them in the balance and finds them wanting.

Hop pickersFollowing these experiences he wrote up the essay Hop Picking which was published in the New Statesman & Nation on 17th October 1931, under his real name of Eric Blair. For the most part, it’s a piece of factual reporting, explaining what the work entails, how much people earn from it, what kind of people work there, and the reality of their day to day existence/survival. But Orwell never attempts to conceal his natural concern for and disgust at the conditions and exploitation faced by the working man (and woman, and child).

Just as in his diaries, he’s quick to cast judgment where he feels it’s appropriate. The essay starts with quotes from two experienced hop-pickers, “a holiday with pay” and “keep yourself all the time you’re down there, pay your fares both ways and come back five quid in pocket” – and instantly Blair remarks that these experienced workers “ought to have known better”. He then sets out his basic tenet about hop picking: “hop-picking is far from being a holiday, and, as far as wages go, no worse employment exists.”

HopsHe explains that the work entails long hours, but is basically a simple process. He accepts that it’s “healthy, outdoor work” but quickly points out how painful the inevitable cuts to your hands are, as a result of the plant’s spiny stems, and the revulsion you feel as plant-lice crawl down your neck. He also explains the system of payment; piece-work, with the usual rate being six bushels of picked hops for a shilling – in other words 2d per bushel. At today’s rate, that shilling is now the equivalent of about £2.40, so a bushel would have earned you 40p. But it’s not that straightforward; depending on who was accepting and measuring the bushels, it was perfectly easy for the hops to be crushed down low into the bushel, so that what one man might measure as a bushel another would measure as only half a bushel – so if you were unlucky – or victimised, or exploited – you could end up having to work twice as hard for the same income. Blair estimates that he and Ginger earned about nine shillings a week each (£21.60). Even the best pickers in their gang earned only an average of 13/4 each – today’s equivalent being £32. The manipulation of the language used to describe the payment system is not lost on Blair: “six bushels a shilling sounds much more than “fifteen shillings a week””.

bushel of hopsAs well as being tricked into working twice as hard, there were other ways in which the employers’ rules could reduce the hop-picker “practically to a slave. One rule, for instance, empowers a farmer to sack his employees on any pretext whatever, and in doing so to confiscate a quarter of their earnings; and the picker’s earnings are also docked if he resigns his job.” Then there were the sleeping conditions: “My friend and I, with two others, slept in a tin hut ten feet across, with two unglazed windows and half a dozen other apertures to let in the wind and rain, and no furniture save a heap of straw; the latrine was two hundred yards away, and the water tap the same distance. Some of these huts had to be shared by eight men – but that, at any rate, mitigated the cold.”

But Blair being Orwell – or vice versa – this is no turgid piece of dry journalism. Using that same appreciation for the sensuousness of language that he used in A Hanging, he is able to transport the reader into experiencing the same hardships – or indeed pleasures – with his words. With the phrase “the spiny stems cut the palms of one’s hands to pieces” you can feel the sharp stem digging into you, just as you can feel the uncomfortable irritation of “the plant-lice which […] crawl down one’s neck”. You can sense the slow dull progress of “trying to coax a fire out of wet sticks”. But you can also smell the scene and sense the welcome cool with the sentence “on hot days there is no pleasanter place than the shady lane of hops, with their bitter scent – an unutterably refreshing scent, like a wind blowing from oceans of cool beer”. Who couldn’t resist breathing deeply to enjoy the wind from oceans of cool beer!

With good journalistic balance, he notes that hop pickers come back year after year, so despite the hardship they have to endure, “the Cockneys rather enjoy the trip to the country” and it still “figures in the pickers’ mind as a holiday.” Part of his conclusion is that “whatever the cause, there is no difficulty in getting people to do the work, so perhaps one ought not to complain too loudly about the conditions in the hop fields”.

new hop picking machineryFrom my own experience, I know that in the late 20s and early 30s my mother and her brother worked on the hop fields with their parents, and I don’t recall her saying how terrible an experience it was. This is a fascinating, personal piece of journalism, written directly from the writer’s current experience, balancing the rigours and hardship of the activity with its unexpected popularity and the cheerfulness with which it was endured. It’s also a description of a now historical activity that has thankfully been taken over by machinery. Orwell got it right when he says “hop-picking is in the category of things that are great fun when they are over.”

Review – Dream, immersive theatre of the future, from the Royal Shakespeare Company, 16th March 2021

How Dream worksNot a very catchy summary of a show, I must admit, but that’s the nearest I can get to describing the online experience that we enjoyed last night. When I was a kid, I had the double album “BBC 1922 – 1972” (I always was trendy) which commemorated the first fifty years of the Beeb, and featured dozens of fascinating and entertaining ancient recordings. One of the earliest was from Station 2MT (which would soon develop into the BBC), with one Captain Eckersley broadcasting from an ex-army hut in Writtle, Essex, with the words This is Two Emma Toc, Writtle testing, and enthusiasts around the country would twiddle the cat’s whisker on their new-fangled wireless machine and, miracle of miracles, Eckersley’s dulcet tones came into their living room out of nowhere. What a thrill that must have been.

Puck and FirefliesThis vague recollection (as I haven’t played that album for a good many years) came back into my head as we watched, and interacted with, the new online production, Dream, inspired (no surprise) by A Midsummer Night’s Dream, with your host Puck, accompanied by four sprites, each of whom has their own special power to help you through the perils of an enchanted wood. The chief element that I took from the show was the unlimited potential that this new technology has for transforming the arts in the future.

PeaseblossomThe timing of this innovative approach to combine theatre with immersive technology couldn’t be more perfect. It’s almost exactly one year on from when I last set foot in a theatre, and, with the best will in the world, I – and I’m sure many others – still wrestle with a reticence about the safety of joining a real-life mid-pandemic (or even post-pandemic) audience in the coming months. So, if there is one thing the arts needs right now, it’s to find new ways of exploring online and virtual methods of getting drama into people’s homes.

CobwebThis is where the Audiences of the Future initiative comes in. It aims to examine and explore ways of combining immersive technologies as part of the audience experience in the fields of art, culture, heritage and entertainment. Thus Dream is not only an artistic work in its own right, but also a piece of research and development within this wider framework. Audiences log in on their laptops, phones and tablets to watch five actors perform live at the Guildhall in Portsmouth; for yes, these performances are all live, all that’s recorded are the musical contributions of the Philharmonia Orchestra and Nick Cave (yes, he of the Bad Seeds) as the Voice of the Forest. Prospective audience members have two alternatives for experiencing Dream; you can simply turn up and watch a show, live, for free, or for the princely sum of £10 you can upgrade to being an Audience Plus member. This makes you a virtual firefly, with the ability to influence the characters and action with the aid of your mouse.

Puck at workYou arrive at the Dream Lobby in advance of the show starting; that’s the place to pick up tips on how best to enjoy it and how to interact with it. When the show starts, EM Williams, who plays Puck with great charm and warmth, welcomes you in, and invites you to follow them through the forest for a magical adventure. The show is constructed so that you can get glimpses of both the backstage gubbins and the full product at the same time, which offers you a truly fascinating insight into how the whole thing works.

Peaseblossom and PuckSo let’s concentrate on the good things, because there are good things a-plenty. The technology is outstanding. Over 7,200 devices logged into yesterday evening’s show, and there was never a hint that the Internet wouldn’t be able to take the load. The picture and the sound were of the highest quality, as were the performances and choreography, because this show relies heavily on movement. The visual design of the forest was exciting and intriguing, colourful and intense; and the presentations of the characters themselves – the term avatar is being used, but I know nothing about gaming – are inventive and hugely creative. Puck appears as a disconnected collection of rocks, Moth is a free-fluttering floaty thing made of leaves, Mustardseed a moving bundle of branches, Peaseblossom an assembly of flowers, and Cobweb is a spooky eye emerging through cobwebs in a tree. The imagination behind and execution of these dreamlike beings are just superb.

Moth and PuckAlso really impressive is the use of a clever little piece of software called Gestrument, that creates perfect musical accompaniments to the movements of the characters, adding magic and colour to the presentation. The luscious, pre-recorded music, played by the Philharmonia Orchestra, are three excerpts from a recording made just before Lockdown 1.0, composed and conducted by Esa-Pekka Salonen. In fact, the whole production is a testament to collaboration between so many different companies and specialists, and it is an absolute credit to them that it has come to fruition so successfully.

PeaseblossomIt’s important to take this current production for what it is – a piece of research and development, one step in finding a way through the tricky troubled times of right now to find innovative answers for the future. As a result, it would be wrong to gloss over what didn’t work about the production. The interactivity, whereby you basically lob a few fireflies into the action to illuminate the way, is great in theory, and clearly lends support and direction to the cast. But it’s a damp squib to the audience, who only get a vague sense of where their firefly might have landed, in amongst a sea (wrong metaphor I know) of other firefly trails, all landing higgledy-piggledy in the forest. My fairy trajectories weren’t up to much anyway, but then I’ve never been much of a Pinball Wizard. If you’re going to invite the audience to influence the action (and indeed charge them for the pleasure), then the reward must be more obvious and more beneficial. The technology is brilliant, but that alone is not enough to give you a satisfactory audience experience. In addition, whilst it’s great to discover that it’s possible to create this work live, the live element didn’t as such offer any greater meaning or pleasure to the audience experience than if it had been recorded. But, of course, with different content, performing it live could be a whole new kettle of fish.

Backstage gubbinsThis is clearly the gateway to something more significant stretching into the future. It needs a much bigger brain than mine to grapple with all the possibilities that this technology offers, but anything that extends the reach of the theatre into the home can only be A Good Thing in my book. We’re only at the Writtle Testing stage right now, but, who knows, in ten, twenty, thirty years’ time… the ether’s the limit.

All clever stuffThis Royal Shakespeare Company co-production is a collaboration with the Manchester International Festival, Marshmallow Laser Feast and the Philharmonia Orchestra, and offers performances at different times to suit different time zones and continues to play until 20th March. For more information, click here!

Production photos by Stuart Martin for the RSC

More theatre memories? More, you say? July to December 1998

  1. The Real Inspector Hound and Black Comedy – Comedy Theatre, London, 18th July 1998

A fantastic double bill of one act comedies written by masters of the genre when they were at their freshest and funniest. Stoppard’s Real Inspector Hound involves two theatre critics watching a whodunit when one of them bizarrely gets physically involved as a character in the play; Peter Shaffer’s Black Comedy is a comedy of errors (literally) when a fuse goes and plunges a group of people into darkness – yet of course, that’s the moment the stage lights go on and we see the confusion. Greg Doran’s brilliant production for the Yvonne Arnaud theatre had transferred to the Comedy for a season, and starred David Tennant, Nichola McAuliffe, Anna Chancellor, Gary Waldhorn and Desmond Barritt. We were in hysterics.

  1. Prom No 71 – BBC Proms, Royal Albert Hall, London, 10th September 1998

Passing over that year’s Pendley Festival production of Love’s Labour’s Lost, our next show was in fact a concert – and the first time that I’d a) been to a Prom and b) been inside the Royal Albert Hall. The BBC National Orchestra of Wales, together with the BBC National Chorus of Wales, conducted by Mark Elder and with Valdine Anderson, soprano, tackled a very entertaining programme. First was Stravinsky’s Scherzo Fantastique, then came Szymanowski’s Songs of a Fairy tale Princess and then Debussy’s Jeux. After the interval we were treated to a magnificent performance of Holst’s Planets. I was really excited to see my first Prom and have continued to enjoy classical concerts much more ever since.

  1. Explosive Dance – Royal Albert Hall, London, 15th September 1998

We were back at the Albert Hall the following week to see a dance extravaganza in aid of the Red Cross’s anti-personnel Landmines Campaign, dedicated to the late Diana, Princess of Wales. This was a very expensive show and we could only afford the cheapest seats which were way up in the gods. The view was so poor and distant that there was, frankly, little point in our being there.

It was an incredible line-up though, starting with a sequence from the line dancing show Bootscoot, Tamara Rojo and Dmitri Gruzdyev from the English National Ballet with a scene from Don Quixote, Antonio Marquez and Dancers, Antonia Franceschi and Matthew Hart dancing to Cry Baby Kreisler (that we had seen at a Dance Bites show in 1997), Deborah Bull and Ashley Page from the Royal Ballet dancing Walk and Talk; the Jiving Lindy Hoppers, Viviana Durante and Irek Mukhamedov from the Royal Ballet with a pas de deux from Manon; Club Salsa, A scene from AMP’s Swan Lake with Adam Cooper and Scott Ambler; Wayne Sleep and Dancers with Chaplin, Darcey Bussell and Igor Zelensky from the Royal Ballet with a pas de deux from Le Corsaire, and finally highlights from Riverdance. All types of dance were there, and it was a brilliant show – at least, it would have been, if we could have seen it properly!

  1. Richard Alston Dance Company – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 8th October 1998

This was our first ever visit to a programme of dance performed by the Richard Alston Dance Company, who would go on to be one of our topmost favourite companies for over twenty years. Little did we know! The first dance was Brisk Singing, to music by Rameau, then we saw Light Flooding into Darkened Rooms, and finally Rumours, Visions set to music by Benjamin Britten. Leading the company was the fantastic Martin Lawrance, and all the pieces were choreographed by Richard Alston. The start of a long dance love affair!

  1. Things we do for Love – Duchess Theatre, London, 12th October 1998

Always interested to see a new Alan Ayckbourn comedy, but I confess the details of this one are a little hazy. An engaged couple move in with one of their old school friends, with disastrous consequences. An excellent cast was led by Belinda Lang and Alexander Hanson.

  1. Good Grief – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 16th October 1998

Penelope Keith starred in this new play by Keith Waterhouse, adapted from his original novel of the same name. It’s about the fallout after June Pepper (Ms Keith)’s husband, a gritty no-nonsense newspaper editor, dies. I’m afraid I can’t remember much about it. The excellent cast also featured Christopher Godwin and David Firth.

  1. Popcorn – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 12th November 1998

Another play that had been adapted from an earlier novel, Ben Elton’s farcical Reservoir Dogs-style story about murderers and stationery was well directed by Laurence Boswell, with a cast that included John Bowler, Paul Brennan and Liza Sadovy. Again, my memories are scant but I do know that we enjoyed it a lot.

  1. Rambert Dance Company Autumn Programme – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 3rd December 1998

A great programme here combining some new exciting work with an old favourite. First up was Three Gone, Four Left Standing, choreographed, lit, and with costumes by Rafael Bonachela; then we saw Jiri Kylian’s No More Play. After the first interval we saw Christopher Bruce’s Four Scenes, and then at the end it was the crowd-pleasing Axioma 7, choreographed by Ohad Naharin and with the full cast of dancers. This amazing team included so many of my favourite dancers: Laurent Cavanna, Marie Laure Agrapart, Paul Liburd, Hope Muir, Rafael Bonachela, Glenn Wilkinson, Matthew Hart, Vincent Redmon, Christopher Powney and Simon Cooper.

  1. Alarms and Excursions – Gielgud Theatre, London, 11th December 1998

For Mrs C’s birthday treat we saw this highly entertaining show written by Michael Frayn and described as “more plays than one”. Although the critics didn’t think much of it, we loved it, and also thought the cast – Felicity Kendal, Nicky Henson, Josie Lawrence and Robert Bathurst – were terrific. We still laugh at the memory of Ms Kendal at a business conference struggling to hold her briefcase, her coffee and her notes. Very funny.

  1. The Invention of Love – Theatre Royal, Haymarket, London, 30th December 1998

The excellent John Wood led the cast as A E Housman in this hugely successful National Theatre production, that won the Evening Standard award for Best Play and had already been running for over a year in the West End. It also featured the excellent John Carlisle and David Ryall, and featured a young Kris Marshall low down the cast list. Not too many memories of it, I must confess, but it sounds good!