Review – Peter Pan, London Palladium, 29th December 2023

Ah, the Palladium pantomime. One of the highlights of the year. An event steeped in nostalgia and ritual, on as well as the expectation of a great night out of laughter and fun. My first Palladium panto was in 1969 with Jimmy Tarbuck in Jack and the Beanstalk; and although I grew out of the routine as the teenage years drew on, I couldn’t wait to get back into the habit when the Palladium pantomimes started up again in 2016. I always target the same seats if possible; I always treat Mrs Chrisparkle to a bottle of the old Taittinger; and of course I always take out a second mortgage to pay for a programme. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

This year Crossroads Pantomimes, under the esteemed leadership of writer and director Michael Harrison, brings us Peter Pan; with the Palladium panto’s uniquely eclectic slant on J M Barrie’s timeless original. To be fair, we do have three Darling children (and one of them does indeed look like Jacob Rees-Mogg). We do have Nana the dog, Tink the fairy and, of course, Peter Pan the boy who never grew up. And we do have Captain Hook and a crocodile; although it’s never explained why the former is so scared about the latter. There’s a host of vagabond pirates, although I can’t imagine Barrie would have envisaged the likes of Julian Clary, Nigel Havers and Paul Zerdin as bloodthirsty cut-throats. Nor did he immortalise Captain Hook’s mum. I guess that’s panto for you. Oh yes it is!

This year they’ve rewritten the definition of lavish. For sheer levels of costuming, sets, colour and wow factor, this show takes the roof off. Everything looks and sounds stunning; in modern parlance, every scene identifies as a finale. The costumes for the curtain call alone would probably have broken the budget for lesser shows. Greg Arrowsmith leads a sizeable band of merry music makers through many a high energy number, and there are all the usual elements you would expect, from Gary Wilmot’s patter song, the slapstick routine (this time, A Sailor went to Sea sea sea), Paul Zerdin singing with kids from the audience Three Smart Fellas they felt smart, and the ritual humiliation of Nigel Havers. It all works swimmingly well.

As always, the star of the show is Julian Clary, but he naturally takes second billing to the year’s guest star, who this year is Jennifer Saunders as Captain Hook and what a knock out she is. I feared she might just phone it in, like another big star we once saw at the Richmond panto, no names no pack drill, but no. She was gloriously malevolent right from the start and sent herself up something rotten. When she disguises herself in order to trick Peter Pan and the children, it’s a stroke of genius that she turns into Edina from Absolutely Fabulous, littering her speech with all the insincere sweetie darlings you could possibly imagine, and, frankly, it’s hysterical.

Also returning from their big hit as last year’s cow in Jack and the Beanstalk, Rob Madge is perfect as Tink (they’ve dropped the erbell because who needs it), hugely possessive of Peter Pan because they’re head over heels in love with him, thus bringing Tink’s mischievous jealousy of Wendy sharply into 21^st century focus. Rob Madge is fantastic at the song and dance, and I hope the powers that be continue to bring them back year after year. Zippo Circus’ Timbuktu Tumblers make an appearance with some fun acrobatics and prove that the limbo dance is still a thing. Frances Mayli McCann rises to the challenge of playing up her Scottishness to create a Gorbals Wendy, mainly so that Mr Clary can act as a translator for the audience. She and Louis Gaunt make a good partnership as Wendy and Peter, musically strong and doing their best to cling on to the wreckage of their characterisations in the face of a Clary-style onslaught.

And, of course, Julian Clary is terrific in this show, as he inevitably is; the raconteur of multiple entendres not just double ones, model of extraordinary outfits, barely ever in character, ruling the roost supreme. He pays tribute to his late friend and colleague Paul O’Grady that is entirely appropriate and never mawkish. No opportunity is missed for him to shower us with salacious comments, and he always gets a warm hand on his entrance.

Peter Pan is a classic Palladium panto, triumphant from the word Go. Why you’d take the kids with you though, I haven’t a clue. Dazzling us until 14^th January, and we’re already being lured into the prospect of a 2024 panto in December. Can’t wait!