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Review of the Year 2024 – The Fourteenth Annual Chrisparkle Awards

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Greetings again, gentle reader, to the glamorous showbiz highlight of the year, the announcement of the annual Chrisparkle Awards for 2024. This year was a record-breaker for me in that I saw 254 productions throughout the year – three more than last year; and that’s an awful lot of shows! Eligibility for the awards means a) they were performed in the UK and b) I have to have seen the shows and reviewed them in the period 10th January 2024 to 4th January 2025. Are you all sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin!

 

The first award is for Best Dance Production (Contemporary and Classical)

This includes dance seen at the Edinburgh Fringe, however none of the top three comes from that prestigious festival! These are the top three:

In 3rd place, the informal collection of dances by stars of the future in Birmingham Royal Ballet BRB2, Carlos Acosta’s Classical Selection, at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, in May.

In 2nd place, the powerful Romeo and Juliet performed by Northern Ballet in association with the Royal Shakespeare Company, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in September.

In 1st place, the irrepressible Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake, performed by New Adventures at Sadlers Wells, London, in December.

 

Classical Music Concert of the Year.

We saw three classical concerts this year, all by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra at the Royal and Derngate in Northampton. The award for the best goes to their Film Music Gala in November.

 

Best Entertainment Show of the Year.

This means anything that doesn’t fall into any other categories – for example pantos, circuses, revues and anything else hard to classify. Here are the top three:

In 3rd place, our local pantomime, Cinderella at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, in December.

In 2nd place, the extraordinary spectacular extravaganza that is Robin Hood at the London Palladium in December.

In 1st place, the outstanding and uniquely successful Snow White at the Lyceum Theatre, Sheffield, in December.

 

Best Star Standup of the Year.

Last year this award was combined with the Comedy Crate/Screaming Blue Murder award, but this year the committee decided to return to its previous practice of splitting them in two. So here are the top five performances by Star Standups in 2024:

In 5th place, the effortlessly compelling humour of Sarah Keyworth in her My Eyes Are Up Here Tour, at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, in September.

In 4th place, the daring and groundbreaking comedy of Omid Djalili as part of the Mixed Bill Megashow at the Royal and Derngate in April.

In 3rd place, the return of the OG PC comedian par excellence, Ben Elton in his Authentic Stupidity Tour at the Royal and Derngate in November.

In 2nd place, the utterly hysterical and always reliable Sarah Millican in her Late Bloomer Tour at the Royal and Derngate in January.

In 1st place, a comedian with a unique place in the nation’s heart, Guz Khan in his Live Tour at the Milton Keynes Theatre in January.

 

Best Comedy Crate/Screaming Blue Murder Standup of the Year

In 5th place, the experienced and consummate comedian Richard Morton (Screaming Blue Murder – March)

In 4th place, the fabulous Maisie Adam (Comedy Crate Edinburgh Preview Weekender – July)

In 3rd place, the total superstar that is Jen Brister (Comedy Crate – March)

In 2nd place, the evergreen and always deeply creative, Paul Sinha (Comedy Crate – September)

In 1st place, for the second year running, the comedy powerhouse that is Tom Stade (Comedy Crate Edinburgh Preview – July)

 

Best Musical.

I saw fourteen musicals this year, by far the majority were revivals, which just goes to show how difficult it can be to find a new musical! Seven made the shortlist and here’s the top five:

In 5th place, a show that’s just going to grow and grow over the years, Titanique at the Criterion Theatre, London, in December.

In 4th place, a superbly enjoyable production of a favourite show, Hello Dolly at the London Palladium, in July.

In 3rd place, a show that has become synonymous with the kindness of the human spirit, the touring production of Come From Away at the Curve Theatre, Leicester, in March.

In 2nd place, the amazingly successfully revitalised Oliver! at the Festival Theatre, Chichester, in September.

In 1st place, despite a couple of criticisms of its updating, there is no finer musical than A Chorus Line, at the Curve Theatre, Leicester, in July.

I must make an honourable mention of the wonderful Our Little Hour that ran for three nights at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, in October. It’s impossible to compare it with the other huge productions here, but it fully deserved its five stars from me!

 

Best New Play.

Just to clarify, this is my definition of a new play, which is something that’s new to me and to most of its audience – so it might have been around before but on its first UK tour, or a new adaptation of a work originally in another format. Just like last year, we saw eighteen new plays this year, but I only awarded five stars to two of them; I’m definitely getting stricter in my old age!

In 5th place, Apphia Campbell’s incredible one woman play inspired by the life of Nina Simone, Black is the Color of my Voice at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester, in February.

In 4th place, Mike Poulton’s riveting adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s novel about Mary Boleyn, The Other Boleyn Girl, at the Festival Theatre, Chichester, in May.

In 3rd place, the thrillingly unusual and highly entertaining account of the Rolling Stones, Marianne Faithfull and the young Nigel Havers, Charlotte Jones’ Redlands, at the Festival Theatre, Chichester, in October.

In 2nd place, a terrifying look at modern day democracy, David Edgar’s The New Real for the Royal Shakespeare Company at the Other Place, Stratford-upon-Avon, in October.

In 1st place, Emma Rice’s stunning, heartwarming and endlessly fascinating adaptation of Hanif Kureishi’s The Buddha of Suburbia for the Royal Shakespeare Company at the Swan Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in April.

 

Best Revival of a Play.

I saw twenty-two revivals, leading to a shortlist of eight, and here’s the very closely fought top five:

In 5th place, the RSC’s laugh-a-second production of Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in June.

In 4th place, the immaculate acting and characterisations in Pinter’s still immensely powerful The Caretaker, at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester, in June.

In 3rd place, the joyful inventiveness of the RSC’s sensational Twelfth Night, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in December.

In 2nd place, the RSC’s literally magical production of Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in February.

In 1st place, the captivatingly hilarious and outrageous production of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, for the National Theatre at the Lyttelton Theatre, London, in December.

As always, in the post-Christmas season, it’s time to consider the turkey of the year – and whilst it very nearly went to the ambitious but falling-short-of-the-mark Spymonkey’s The Frogs at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, the most disappointing production I saw all year was the RSC’s Othello at Stratford’s Royal Shakespeare Theatre.

Now we come on to our four categories specifically for the Edinburgh Fringe. The first is:

 

Best play or musical – Edinburgh

I would normally have included musicals in with the “Best of the Rest” category, but I feel it is more appropriate to include them in the “Best Play” category. We saw 90 productions of plays and musicals in Edinburgh this year, 13 of them got 5* from me, and here are the top 5:

In 5th place, Sarah Cameron-West’s self-performed hilarious and memorable journey through heartbreak and beyond, KAREN (Underbelly Cowgate)

In 4th place, another extraordinary one-woman play, about how a celebrant can become triggered by their work, Catafalque, written by Amy Conway and produced by Scissor Kick (Summerhall)

In 3rd place, a hilarious play that made you look at a familiar story from a completely different direction, Galahad Takes a Bath, written by Jojo Jones and produced by Juggler’s Mistake (Zoo Southside)

In 2nd place, a moving and superbly structured musical based on a true story, Our Little Secret: The 23andMe Musical, written by Noam Tomaschoff and Ryan Peters and produced by Russell Citron (Gilded Balloon Patter House)

In 1st place, the brilliantly created, extremely funny and superbly performed look at living with Climate Change, Weather Girl, written by Brian Watkins (Summerhall)

 

Best Individual Performance in a Play or Musical – Edinburgh

As always, an impossible choice, and it’s as close as close can be. Nevertheless, here are the top five:

In 5th place, Lucas English for The Shadow Boxer (TheSpace @ Niddry Street)

In 4th place, Forest Malley for Galahad Takes a Bath (Zoo Southside)

In 3rd place, Jennifer Vuletic for MILF and the Mistress (TheSpace @ Niddry Street)

In 2nd place, Julia McDermott for Weather Girl (Summerhall)

In 1st place, Noam Tomaschoff for Our Little Secret: The 23andMe Musical (Gilded Balloon Patter House)

 

Best Comedy Performance – Edinburgh

A change from previous years, where this category was entitled Best Stand-up Comedy Show; this now includes sketch shows and otherwise undefinable comedy performances! We saw fifty-five comedy shows this year, but only six received 5* from me, and here are my top five:

In 5th place, boldly going where angels fear to tread, Garry Starr with his Classic Penguins show (Pleasance Courtyard)

In 4th place, the clever combination of brilliant comedy with a touch of sadness, Tom Greaves with his Fudgey show (Assembly Roxy)

In 3rd place, the irresistibly engaging Josh Jones with his Put a Sock in It show (Monkey Barrel at the Tron)

In 2nd place, the innately funny Robin Grainger with his beautifully structured Refurb show (The Stand Comedy Club 2)

In 1st place, the incredibly inventive and outrageously funny Emma Sidi with her Emma Sidi is Sue Gray show (Pleasance Courtyard)

 

Best of the rest – Edinburgh

From a shortlist of eight, here are my top five:

In 5th place, the amazing magic and entertainment of Pete Heat: Bogus (Pleasance Dome)

In 4th place, the terrific cabaret combination of Frances Ruffelle and Norman Bowman in The Scot and the Showgirl  (Pleasance Dome)

In 3rd place, a true tour de force by Sarah Louise Young in I Am Your Tribute (Voodoo Rooms)

In 2nd place, fantastic music delivered with a message for the world, Janie Dee’s Beautiful World Cabaret (Pleasance Dome)

In 1st place, and I still don’t know why she hasn’t been given her own chat show, the incredibly entertaining Mhairi Black: Politics isn’t For Me (Gilded Balloon at the Museum)

Unlike last year, I didn’t award any Edinburgh shows the dreaded One Star review. However, there are still several contenders for this year’s Edinburgh turkey, of which I feel I must draw to your attention two; FUFC (TheSpace on the Mile) had a powerful message about prostate cancer but was poorly written and acted, and almost the opposite, Nerine Skinner’s The Exorcism of Liz Truss (Just the Tonic at the Caves) boasts a brilliant impersonation of Liz Truss but dull material that goes nowhere.

 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Musical.

Time to get personal. Here’s the top five:

In 5th place, Jenna Russell as Irene in Hello Dolly at the London Palladium in July.

In 4th place, Georgina Onuorah as both Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield, in December, and as Lois in Kiss Me Kate at the Barbican Theatre, London, in July.

In 3rd place, Kat Ronney as Rose in Titanique at the Criterion Theatre, London, in December.

In 2nd place, Molly Lynch as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady at the Curve Theatre, Leicester, in December.

In 1st place, Imelda Staunton as Dolly in Hello Dolly at the London Palladium in July.

 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Musical.

Here’s the top five:

In 5th place, David Seadon-Young as Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady at the Curve Theatre, Leicester, in December.

In 4th place, Marley Fenton as Danny in Grease at the Royal and Derngate, Northampton, in May.

In 3rd place, Jordan Luke Gage as Cal in Titanique at the Criterion Theatre, London, in December.

In 2nd place, Layton Williams as Seaman/Iceberg in Titanique at the Criterion Theatre, London, in December.

In 1st place, Simon Lipkin as Fagin in Oliver! at the Festival Theatre, Chichester, in September.

 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Play.

Seventeen in the longlist, and six in the shortlist, and here’s the top five:

In 5th place, Apphia Campbell as Nina Simone in Black is the Color of my Voice, Minerva Theatre, Chichester, in February.

In 4th place, Martina Laird as Rachel Moss in The New Real, The Other Place, Stratford-upon-Avon, in October.

In 3rd place, Freema Ageyman as Olivia in Twelfth Night, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in December.

In 2nd place, Jodie Whittaker as The Duchess in The Duchess, at the Trafalgar Theatre, London,in November.

In 1st place, Sharon D Clarke as Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest, at the National Theatre Lyttelton, in December.

 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Play.

Twenty-one in the longlist and ten in the shortlist, each of whom could easily deserve the award, However, here is the top five:

In 5th place, Luke Thompson as Berowne in Love’s Labour’s Lost, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon in April.

In 4th place, Hugh Skinner as Jack in The Importance of Being Earnest, at the National Theatre Lyttelton, in December.

In 3rd place, Ncuti Gatwa as Algernon in The Importance of Being Earnest, at the National Theatre Lyttelton, in December.

In 2nd place, Ian McDiarmid as Davies in The Caretaker, at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester, in June.

In 1st place, Mathew Baynton as Bottom in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in February.

 

Congratulations to the winners, commiserations to the losers and thanks for your company again throughout the year, gentle reader. Here’s to another year full of artistic excellence!

Review – Guz Khan Live, Milton Keynes Theatre, 19th January 2024

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I’m honestly not one to blow my own trumpet, gentle reader, but you can’t deny that I have form in spotting top talent before everyone else realises. In the world of contemporary dance I said in 2011 that the young Liam Riddick would become The Next Big Thing and blow me down he wins Best Male Dancer at the National Dance Awards for 2017. In 2014 I highlighted a young chap in Matthew Bourne’s Lord of the Flies who would go far by the name of Layton Williams, and look where he is today. And back in 2017 I saw this guy twice supporting big acts – Johnny Vegas in Leicester, and Tez Ilyas in Northampton. I even awarded him the Chrisparkle Award for Best Standup in 2017 (shared jointly with Tez). His name? Guz Khan. And now the man is selling out huge theatres to massive crowds of appreciative fans. He owes it all to me, frankly.

But first, a support act. For the first twenty minutes of the show we were entertained by Kat B – a performer new to me, who seems to have done everything from DJ-ing to choreography, acting to presenting, panto performer and – as we saw in Milton Keynes – even a spot of stand-up too. He has a very energetic presence, using the full width of the stage to tell his stories. I say “tell” – that’s not really the right word, it’s more “enact”. His material probably consisted of no more than three short routines; the luring of a young man into a sexually charged bedroom, the awful moment when you have a pressing need for the toilet, and a girl coming home after a night on the town with her mates. But he performs them with such engaging vigour and visceral connection that it’s impossible not to be won over by him. And we were all able to help him record a nice video for his mum to let him know he had a good night out.

But all focus was on The Main Man. Guz cuts a lovable, if mildly eccentric, figure on stage; a big, formidable fellow, inevitably wearing something extraordinary with mysterious flamboyant flair, sporting a thickly lush beard and the most expressive eyes in the business. If they could speak, what tales those eyes could tell. Shock, ridicule, affection, fury – so many emotions lurch out at you from those eyes; he’s truly mastered the art of eloquence through expression. And nowhere is that seen better than when he’s talking to the people in the front row, creating pretend back stories for them, such as with Omar, selling weed in the car park, who had to travel all the way to Luton to find Shama, the woman of his dreams; or Emily and mum Jackie from Cambridge, who are infuriated by cyclists. Guz is so good at encouraging participation from his audiences only to tease them mercilessly afterwards – but it’s all so good-natured that no one could ever be offended.

I doubt whether any other entertainer has done as much to integrate Pakistani and white British culture as Guz. He’s fascinated by how people of all races and religions mix in one big melting pot, always tapping on the comic potential of how we’re all human together. Included in his current show are his pride at how he’s helped create a daughter who can look after herself when she’s picked on – much to the disapproval of his wife and her school; his observations that even he is probably 2% racist and how we’re almost all guilty of the same thing; and his reflections on his wider family and how they all get on – or not.

He is particularly strong with his accounts of what his four children get up to; his favourites, Baby Girl – strong willed and admirable – and Lispy – thick but endearing –  and the other two, whom he characterises as nameless insufferable little prigs, which is hilarious. Everything he says is recognisable by and relatable to everyone, all enhanced by his extraordinary communication skills, which must have come from his earlier career as a teacher. And above all, it’s all very, very funny.

This current leg of his tour started at the beginning of January and goes on until early March but almost all the shows are sold out or have very few seats left. It’s not often that you can describe someone’s rise to success as meteoric, but I think this is one such case.

Review – Tez Ilyas, Made in Britain, Underground at the Derngate, Northampton, 20th May 2017

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We have a specific spot we like to sit for the comedy shows at the Underground, gentle reader. They normally have two banks of chairs – three or four rows at the front, then a gap, then the seats at the back. I like to take the back row of the front bank – and sit on the aisle – that way you’re close enough to the action to feel involved but sufficiently far away not to get roped in. Usually. Imagine my disappointment on entering the Underground for Saturday night’s Tez Ilyas show to discover the front bank of chairs was just one row deep. A front row glistening in glamorous isolation. No chance. We instinctively sat on the front row of the back seats. No one sat in front of us.

Enter Mr Ilyas for his welcoming introduction. I knew what he was going to say. Our seating positions as a group were not acceptable. He said he’d turn his back and count from 1 – 10 in Urdu and when he turned around he expected everyone to have moved one row forward. He did so. And so did we! It was a very nice start to our audience/performer relationship: he delivered, we responded. One thing though – it meant we were catapulted to the front row. Dang my breeches!

We saw Tez when he did Screaming Blue Murder here last October, when he mistook Northampton for Peterborough (ouch!) and then slagged off our cricket team (double ouch!!) – and it’s fascinating to discover that he remembered those schoolboy errors, as though they keep coming back like a nightmare. I reckon Mr I probably keeps a collection of his faux pas in a box under the stairs and takes them out every so often for a happy reminisce – he strikes me as that kind of guy.

But that’s probably at the heart of why his stand-up is so endearing. He comes across as just a regular guy; no airs or graces, no persona he’s hiding behind – just the real him and as a result you feel as though you really understand him and his life after an hour and a half in his presence. Most other comedians I’ve seen and enjoyed weave imaginary material into their real-life experience to create a funnier version of the truth. But you get the feeling that absolutely everything Mr I says is the truth, and nothing but. Even if it isn’t, and he’s pulling the wool over our eyes, that’s a real gift.

I use the word “welcoming” in the second paragraph in two ways; first, it was a general welcome as we’d just arrived, none of us had met and he was being polite and offering the comic equivalent of canapes and cocktails. (No cocktails; alcohol has never passed his lips. Well, almost never…) But his style is also welcoming; he doesn’t ever make you feel uncomfortable, even when he’s talking directly to you (who’s my MP? What am I drinking? What’s my favourite Disney film? Where do I rank ISIS on the scale of despicability? I confessed all) You imagine at home he’d be the most gracious host. He seems genuinely chuffed that we came out to see him.

After he’d got us at our ease – and we’d played musical chairs – he introduced us to his support act, the fantastic Guz Khan. We’d seen Mr Khan with Johnny Vegas at the Leicester Comedy Festival earlier in the year and he’s a revelation. An ex-teacher, you know with that commanding presence the kids would have sat up and listened (well, I would have). He has brilliant material harking back to his school teaching days; but also really clever edgy observations such as the surprise use for a WhatsApp group and also his unconditional love for all his children. Mrs Chrisparkle and I were genuinely delighted when we realised he was coming on, and he went down a storm. Even if he did say I laughed like Jimmy Savile. (I don’t.)

The second part of the show was solo Tez, taking us through his life and experiences and opening up a whole new understanding between different racial backgrounds and cultural practices – but underlining that we’re all Made in Britain. He plays with his name; we are his Tezbians, even though at home he is not Tehzeeb; he said it meant the Scourge of Beelzebub or something like that but I Googled it and what he didn’t say is that it’s a girl’s name, so no wonder. He has telling, competitive material about not being mistaken for an Indian – catering industry observations aside. He points out the nonsense (that I’d never considered) that the Jungle Book characters are all voiced with classical western accents (viz. “Shere Khan: How delightful”) – how stupid is that? He talks about his unlikely but ultimately disappointing experience with Tinder and I absolutely get where he’s coming from. And there’s so much more. Primarily you come away with an understanding of how the openly Asian Tez has precisely the same aspirations, foibles and concerns as anyone else – including that tricky subject of how you refer to another race. Personally, I really don’t like the phrase “people of colour” because we’ve all got a colour of sorts, so what the hell does that mean? Tez has his own observations on this and some rather delectably embarrassing examples. But I’m not going to tell you about all his material because a) I can’t remember it, b) it’s not mine to tell and c) it’ll ruin it for the rest of you. Trust me though that the time flies by.

Very likeable, very funny and with instantly recognisable observations about how we all rub along together – or not. Truly the comedy of revelation; you may well come out of this show a different person from the one who went in, and there is no finer compliment I can pay to a performer! There are only a few more dates left in his tour but he’s got a new show coming up in Edinburgh this summer and I’m pretty sure we’ll be catching it. Highly recommended!

Review – Just The Tonic Comedy Club with Johnny Vegas, Leicester Comedy Festival, Hansom Hall, Leicester, 25th February 2017

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For our final splurge on Comedy Saturday we thought we’d go for broke and see Johnny Vegas fronting a Comedy Club special, with him as the compere and three or four acts all doing their own thing. None of us had ever seen Johnny Vegas live before and didn’t know quite what to expect. I’d seen him on TV of course – guesting on panel shows, being one of the best things about Benidorm, and playing a surprisingly effective self-combustible Krook in the BBC’s Bleak House 12 years ago. I don’t think I was prepared for someone so eloquent, creative, unpredictable and thoroughly naughty as he proved himself to be on Saturday night!

He told us that he’d already done an earlier show – not compering but proper stand-up – which had gone off at a tangent because of one particular audience member, but which hadn’t really gone well because the audience didn’t come with him on his flights of fancy. That must be a really awkward situation; because just ten minutes in the company of Mr Vegas tells you that flights of fancy are the order of the day, and any pre-prepared material is probably there just as a backup if all else fails. He’d barely been on a few seconds when he started picking his way through the front row looking for suitable quarry – and there were two guys. The first guy started to bat back the questions in that semi-confident, taciturn but I can handle this way; and then he caught sight of his mate. 99% of the audience didn’t get a look at this guy because we were all sitting behind him. But he obviously appealed to Mr Vegas’ sense of nurturing the oppressed, because this guy had obviously allowed himself to grow the most appalling, all-over-the-place apology for a beard, so that he looked a disgrace and Mr Vegas was not going to let him get away with it.

Whilst this was not Mr Vegas’ only comic tack of the evening, everything did seem to revolve around Useless Beardy Guy. There was no end to the gentle humiliation heading his way during the course of the night, which grew in complexity and status as Mr Vegas ended up encouraging a member of the audience – a rather mouthy lady (perhaps not inappropriately) – to (and I quote) w*nk him off for £500. Others, not all of them with female voices, attempted to undercut this offer, but Mr Vegas wasn’t holding a Dutch Auction. After the next act, the original volunteer had slumped forward in her seat in a paralytic stupor** but Mr Vegas had made an onstage promise that the w*nking would take place. Naturally troubled by this, it culminated in Mr Vegas holding an uncomfortable phone call with his late-night lawyer, where he was concerned that he might now be contractually obliged to cause Beardy Guy to climax in his (Mr Vegas’) hand, in a council-run property (and he admitted sotto voce that he didn’t really want to) and would he need a licence for this? The whole thing was absolutely hilarious and I was shaking with laughter.

In amongst all that shenanigans Johnny Vegas introduced three special guests, all of whom were on absolutely top form. First up was Kevin Dewsbury, whom we have seen many times before, most recently about four hours earlier as the TV chef-cum-walking disaster in Kev’s Komedy Kitchen. Mr Dewsbury took us through his embarrassing St Patrick’s Day moment and his marvellous routine about enunciating foreign words perfectly – I’m so guilty of that myself. He had a whole load of new material as well, perfectly suiting his matey, blokey persona and he got a great reception from the audience. Our second guest was new to us, Guz Khan, still a teacher until two years ago. He is a real find, with a superbly confident stage presence (I bet his kids paid attention to his lessons) and great material that didn’t shy away from the tough subjects like ISIS and Morning Assembly. He absolutely aced the crowd. Our final act, also new to us, was Paul McCaffrey, with some great observations on the wisdom of the fitness guru who recommends replacing chocolate with raw veg, and, whilst on holiday, eschewing licking shots from a nymphette’s belly button in Ibiza in preference to playing cards on the balcony with the wife (“after all, we went to the pub last night…”)

But it really was Mr Vegas’ night. He has such a quick mind and the ability to winkle something humorously ridiculous from the most banal of situations. He’d have you believe he was raising money for some spurious charity, or that he needed to quickly nip backstage to check he hadn’t left a camp stove on whilst leaving Useless Beardy Guy singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for our amusement. He created a wonderful visual image of applying his backside to the TV screen during This Morning so that it looked like Piers Morgan was rimming him; and he had a battle with his braces, before the third act, causing slowly descending trousers, from which he produced tons of hilarious physical comedy. The next morning all six of us kept on remembering varied elements of his reckless night’s entertainment; it was officially fabulous. As was our entire Leicester Comedy Festival experience, and we’re hoping to make it an annual event, when we all return and throw ourselves at the festival for an entire weekend. Here’s to 2018!

**She said she was a teacher so Mr Vegas wondered if it was the SATs and not the alcohol that had sent her off to sleep.

P. S. I discovered later that Mr Vegas doesn’t really have a late-night lawyer with whom he can discuss such delicate topics – it was Kevin Dewsbury on the other end of the phone. I’m embarrassed to say though that it didn’t occur to me that this was a stunt; if anyone is going to have resort to a late-night Comedy Lawyers 4U contact it would be Johnny Vegas. He must need this kind of advice all the time.

P. P. S. The show started at 8.30pm and was due to finish at 10.30pm. Shortly before midnight you could see the promoter agitatedly standing near the stage trying to get Johnny Vegas’ attention so that he would wrap it all up. I did tell you he was unpredictable.