Tag Archives: Charlie Stemp

Review – Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors, Menier Chocolate Factory, London, 12th April 2025

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At what point, I wonder, did the terrifying Count Dracula of Bram Stoker’s Gothic1897 horror novel become a figure of fun? It’s very hard to imagine a modern adaptation of the story being anything other than comical. I’m no expert on the Transylvanian terror monger, but recent re-workings of Dracula include the likes of Love At First Bite, Count Duckula, and indeed Sesame Street’s Count; and now we have Gordon Greenberg and Steve Rosen’s Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors, currently raising the roof at the Menier.

Five actors play a full cast of characters that sees estate agent Jonathan Harker travel from Whitby to Transylvania to do some house selling with Dracula – nothing unusual in that. Instantly captivated by the innocent and hapless Harker, he follows him back to Britain to seduce Harker’s intended, Lucy, and, if he can, Harker too. Lucy’s father, Lord Westfield, runs an asylum and is trying to rehabilitate one of his inmates, Renfield, back into society; the perfect setting for a cosy domestic comedy, one might say. Add to the mix Lucy’s sex-starved sister Mina, and doctor and vampire slayer Van Helsing (Mrs), and you have a hilarious hotchpotch of sexual attraction, outrageous costumes and coffins.

It’s a bright, energetic and funny production, helped by the fact that the characters all take their plight seriously. There are a couple of moments of pure stage magic when one actor has only just left the stage and is still talking offstage, when they suddenly reappear on the other side of the stage as a completely different character. I’m still trying to work out how Dianne Pilkington did that. The production mines all the usual Dracula-style gags, with some excellent physical comedy; I’m still laughing at the thought of James Daly, as Dracula, theatrically heading off into the night with a flourish of his cape, only to get completely batflap-trapped in its folds.

There’s more than a nod to Rocky Horror, not only with Dracula’s own first appearance, but also in the unexpected effect the Count has on another member of the cast – I won’t give the game away. Tijana Bjelajac’s delightful set conceals several surprises, and Tristan Raines’ costumes push the boat out with some hilarious and inventive styling.

With only Mr Daly having the one role – let’s face it, you can’t double up when you’re playing Dracula – everyone else shares a plethora of personalities, with Sebastian Torkia brilliant as both Mina and Van Helsing, Dianne Pilkington nailing both the misogynistic Westfield and the insect-eating Renfield, and Safeena Ladha playing Lucy with spirit, determination and terrific comic timing.

The secret weapon in the cast is the always outstanding Charlie Stemp, here denied any opportunities to sing or dance – although he does throw in a few steps where he can – giving us a wonderful portrayal of the chastely conservative and risk-averse Harker, clearly tempted by the kind of sexual attention he never expected. Extremely funny and ending up as a very unlikely comic hero, Mr Stemp continues to show that there’s simply nothing he can’t do on stage.

At 90 minutes with no interval, it does have the feel of an energetically ambitious Fringe production, casting risks aside and trying out everything to get a laugh. Perhaps the most surprising thing is that every attempt to get a laugh succeeds; there are no duff moments. Does it lack subtlety? You betcha. Does the hyped up Menier audience want subtlety in this production? Absolutely not. Hilarious fun, beautifully executed, and a total riot. The run at the Menier lasts until 3rd May, but I think this is a production that could easily see light of day (sorry Dracula) at some future point.

4-starsFour They’re Jolly Good Fellows!

Review – Robin Hood, London Palladium, 29th December 2024

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Attending the annual pantomime at the London Palladium has been a highlight of my year since childhood, and as the years go by that excitement has let up not one jot. For Christmas 2024, Crossroads Pantomimes have given us Robin Hood, and of course no expense has been spared to make this even more lavish, spectacular, colourful and, let’s face it, excessive than previous years.

This is the first time that perennial pleasure Julian Clary has ever embodied the eponymous character role at the Palladium panto. He’s still as delighted as ever to receive a warm hand upon his entrance, but he yields top billing to Channel 5 Cruising Superstar (I think that’s how he announces her) Jane McDonald, who, as Maid Marion, brings her own special musical magic to the show.

Most of the other usual suspects are there – Nigel Havers, getting progressively more teased every year about appearing yet again (at his age, I ask you), Paul Zerdin (plus Sam) getting the kids on his side (we’re all kids at the Palladium panto), as well as more recent treasures Charlie Stemp and Rob Madge. Missing in action this year is Gary Wilmot (currently to be found in the company of Robert Bolt’s Man for all Seasons as the Common Man touring to a theatre near you shortly) but instead we are blessed with the vivacious and officially fabulous Marisha Wallace as the Sheriff of Nottingham and the whopping great presence of Tosh Wanogho-Maud as the mischievously cast Little John.

Sometimes the Palladium pantos make some kind of narrative sense; sometimes they’re just a serving suggestion of a story. This year most of the plot makes hardly any sense at all, but nobody minds. I can’t remember what the excuse for the 3D sequence is, but it is very exciting – Straight Outta Disneyland, in fact. And there is a ten-part If I were not upon the stage something else I’d rather be fugue sequence performed as exquisitely as ever by Messrs Clary, Stemp, Havers, Zerdin and Wanogho-Maud, and is the true highlight of the show; what Little John does with his truncheon is, frankly, obscene, but hilarious. The other standout moments for me are Jane McDonald singing You’re My World from her castle dungeon – an immaculate song sung immaculately – and Charlie Stemp leading the villagers with a rousing Sherwood Forest version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s Me Old Bamboo.

But I must be honest, gentle reader; something about this panto doesn’t quite gel, and, amazing to relate, this was the only one of the four shows I saw over the Christmas period that didn’t get a standing ovation – something you would normally expect as automatic for the Palladium panto. Because Robin Hood doesn’t end with a Royal Wedding (unusual for a Panto), the curtain call comes along as something of a surprise, and I don’t think theaudience is ready for it; you feel like there should be just one more scene somehow. And certain aspects of the show don’t quite land as well as they normally do. For me there is a certain degree of miscasting this year and a couple of performers who are at the top of their careers just didn’t feel comfortable in some of their scenes. And there isn’t enough Sam! We welcome Mr Z  (as Will Scarlet) on stage many times but rarely in the company of his other half.

Don’t get me wrong, this is still a hugely enjoyable and all-round gigantic production, full of music and laughter; but for me it wasn’t quite up to the same high standard as previous years. You won’t keep me away from next year’s production though!

 

4-starsFour They’re Jolly Good Fellows!

Review – Kiss Me Kate, Barbican Theatre, London, 11th July 2024

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There aren’t many musicals where there isn’t a duff song in the entire score, but Cole Porter’s fantastic Kiss Me Kate is one of them. The very definition of an Evergreen show, the new production at the Barbican features an eye-catching set, a lush orchestra and a quirkily talented cast; and it seemed a perfect opportunity to catch up with the old thing.

It was also an opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with the Barbican Theatre – it’s been an extraordinary 38 years since we were last there! And I’d forgotten what a pleasant experience it is. A huge stage, comfortable seats, terrific sightlines and a plethora of bars, cafes and toilets. I wonder what they did to upset us so much that we had to wait so long for a revisit?!

Porter’s musical retelling of The Taming of the Shrew sees actor/producer Fred Graham trying out the show in Baltimore as Petruchio opposite his starry ex, Lilli Vanessi, as Katherine. Lilli has moved on, and is now being courted by General Harrison Howell, a military bigwig who’ll promise her the earth – for at least three months. But for now, Fred and Lilli have to rub along together as best as they can for the sake of the show. Meanwhile second billing male, Bill Calhoun (Lucentio) is dating second billing female, Lois Lane (Bianca). No sooner does he earn money than he loses it through gambling; and he’s just signed a $10k IOU for one big night’s losses. However, he signed it as Fred Graham; so when two heavy gangsters turn up at the theatre to put pressure on, it’s Fred they target, not Bill. It turns out that these gangsters have an artistic streak; but not enough to prevent them from threatening Lilli when she decides she’s going to walk out of the production. Honestly, if you haven’t seen it before, it’s very easily understood when it’s acted out.

Whilst the story is good fun – although alarmingly misogynistic in some respects, just like Taming of the Shrew is – the prime interest in seeing this show is in the music. It would be unforgivable if the production cut out any of the songs; but as soon as I opened the programme, I saw that not only were we missing Were Thine That Special Face, but to add insult to injury, no From This Moment On! You might try to defend the decision to exclude it on the grounds that was originally written for a different show and was only included in the 1953 film version. But I would parry that with the fact that Could We Start Again Please was not included in the original stage version of Jesus Christ Superstar but written for the film, and woe betide any production that now excludes that song from the show. It’s common practice today to have From This Moment On sung by Harrison and Lilli in the second Act. Definitely an opportunity missed.

Fortunately all the other great numbers are there. The songs in Kiss Me Kate fall into three categories. Those that evolve naturally from the plot – Why Can’t You Behave, Always True To You in My Fashion, Another Op’nin Another Show; those that evolve from the plot of Taming of the Shrew – I’ve Come To Wive it Wealthily in Padua, I Hate Men, Where is the Life that Late I Led; and those that have absolutely nothing to do with anything – Wunderbar, Too Darn Hot, Brush Up Your Shakespeare. If you consider a typical musical theatre show to be a portrait, Kiss Me Kate comes as close as you can to a Picasso, with a dislocated smile in one corner and a nose in the other, all plonked higgledy-piggledy across the canvas. But it works; it’s just one of those amazing shows.

Bartlett Sher’s new production contains some inspired directorial decisions, and the occasional totally bizarre one – for example, in Too Darn Hot, why is nobody, erm, hot? Michael Yeargan’s striking set dominates the Barbican stage, revolving to reveal the dressing rooms and the communal backstage area, as well as the stage of this unnamed theatre in Baltimore. This gives a great opportunity to follow characters from one part of the set into another as they race around the stage in a panic, fury, or simply because they can.

The stage also juts forward to create an apron around the orchestra pit, with the effect that conductor Stephen Ridley’s head pops up in the middle of the stage floor as though he were the next tissue in a packet of Kleenexes. The apron works well as additional acting and dancing space, but the orchestra pit does create a slight distraction, especially as you spend a lot of the time worrying that someone is going to fall into it. However, you have to admit it – Stephen Ridley’s relatively massive stage orchestra sends out a sensational sound, and, from a purely audio perspective, this is about as good as it gets.

But we’ve got to consider that quirky cast head-on. Leading the team as Fred Graham is Adrian Dunbar, a much loved actor primarily because of Line of Duty but also through many other TV and stage appearances. We saw his Claudius to Cush Jumbo’s Hamlet at the Young Vic a few years ago and found him oddly underwhelming. However, he seems much more at ease as Fred Graham, with his quieter delivery very effectively conveying his sarcastic asides; he very much looks the part, and I appreciated this rather less showy interpretation of the role. He has a thoughtful singing style, in that it conveys a lot of meaning; however, what he doesn’t have is a jazz-hands singing style, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need. He underperformed Wunderbar, and slightly mixed up the lyrics of Where is the Life that Late I Led (even thought that is probably still his best moment in the show).

However, he may well have been distracted, because playing Lilli for our performance was Stephanie J Block’s understudy, Anna McGarahan. Ms McGarahan has a terrific voice, no question; I have no idea how much notice she had that she was to play the role, and one must always admire and appreciate an understudy without whom, basically, the show can’t go ahead. That said, I felt that in many of the scenes she was under-rehearsed – not her fault. This was most obvious in the physical comedy scenes which involved a level of stage combat that was amongst the least convincing I’ve ever seen. Like Mr Dunbar, she gave us a very tentative Wunderbar, and her I Hate Men had – I’m afraid – absolutely no conviction to it at all; we came out at the interval reminiscing about how good Nichola McAuliffe had sung it at the Old Vic in 1987.

This had the effect of unbalancing the performance strength, as the lower you went down the cast list, the more impressive and memorable the performances. Charlie Stemp and Georgina Onuorah are excellent as Bill and Lois, the former’s incredible ability to dance, sing and act at the same time coming to the fore whenever Anthony van Laast’s breathtaking choreography called upon his skills; and Ms Onuorah gives one of many scene-stealing performances with her powerfully and intelligently delivered Always True To You In My Fashion.

Nigel Lindsay and Hammed Animashaun give us possibly the best portrayal of the Gangsters I’ve ever seen, with brilliant characterisation, wonderful physical comedy, and a Brush Up Your Shakespeare that we all sang along to. Jack Butterworth’s Paul completely wows us leading the dance in Too Darn Hot – inviting Mr Stemp to keep up with him in a sequence that is performed to perfection – and Josie Benson as Hattie starts the show with arguably the best vocal performance of the production in Another Op’nin’, Another Show.

I guess that all boils down to the fact that – at our performance at least – it was a rather uneven presentation. However, you simply can’t not love it; and there were so many hugely enjoyable songs, scenes and performances that the temptation to book again is surprisingly strong. Kiss Me Kate continues at the Barbican through the summer until 14th September.

 

 

4-starsFour They’re Jolly Good Fellows!

Review – Crazy For You, Festival Theatre Chichester, 23rd July 2022

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Just as the ecstatic applause at the end of the first act was dying down, Mrs Chrisparkle turned to me and said This is the kind of show you usually hate – and she’s totally right. I like my musicals to be meaty. To pose problems. To issue challenges. To delve deep into the heart of humanity and winkle out nuggets of truth so that you come out of the show a different person from the one you went in as. Crazy For You does absolutely none of those things. And it is, quite simply, a glorious delight from start to finish.

Director and choreographer Susan Stroman, who had worked on the original 1992 production, was already making plans for a revival of this Gershwin extravaganza way back when none of us had ever heard of Covid. Then, with all the theatres shut, and not much hope for the future on the horizon, it naturally retreated to her back-burner. That is, until the fickle hand of fate prompted Chichester Artistic Director Daniel Evans to ask her if she would bring the show back to Sussex. And, with a superbly talented cast and production team to bring it to reality, this early juke-box musical (it feels like it should be from the 1930s but it isn’t) is gracing the stage of the Festival Theatre, and sending its audiences on their merry way home with a spring in their step and pretend tap-shoes on their feet.

As I indicated at the beginning, the plot is very simple. Theatre-mad Bobby Child is sent by his bank-owning Mamma to Nevada to foreclose the mortgage on an inactive little theatre way out west. But it’s not in Bobby’s nature to ever close a theatre down, especially when it’s owned by the father of the only girl in the town, the feisty Polly, with whom Bobby instantly falls head over heels in love. The rest of the show revolves around his attempts to both woo Polly and also impersonate Bela Zangler, the impresario, in a last-ditch attempt to stage a show so that audiences can return and the theatre can become financially solvent again. But I wouldn’t worry too much about the plot. It’s really not important.

The show takes Gershwin songs from a number of their Greatest Hits, including I Got Rhythm, Someone to Watch Over Me, They Can’t Take That Away from Me, Nice Work if You can Get it, Embraceable You, and plenty of other showtoonz. Musical Director Alan Williams leads a fantastic 16-person band – which is a pretty big quantity of musicians – and you can instantly tell how full and rich the sound is. Before any action takes place, during the overture, Ken Billington’s lighting design puts the shimmering front curtain through its paces with a range of warm exciting colours, preparing you for the visual feast to follow. All these visual and audio cues really gee you up in expectation of a great show, so the audience is truly buzzing even before the performance truly gets underway.

And it’s a show of sheer enjoyment. Ken Ludwig’s book is full of fun; silly jokes that hit perfectly, rewarding routines, such as the two Zanglers mimicking each other in a mirror, cartoon effects like the tweety-bird sound when a character hits their head, and there’s an early contender for the Best Performance in a Musical by a piece of tumbleweed award, as the aforementioned stage contraption merrily makes its way across the Deadrock landscape. Each piece of comic business, each interactive musical moment, each comic characterisation goes towards making the show a thing of total bliss. And, to be fair, yes, the substance of the show is lightweight and fluffy and doesn’t make you think again about the Human Condition. However, unlike some juke-box musicals, the structure actually works, and the choice of songs does largely make sense, with many of them either forwarding the plot or giving us a further insight into the singer’s character. And there are plenty of reputable musicals that don’t achieve that.

As you would expect from Susan Stroman, the choreography throughout is dynamic, thrilling, inventive, comical, and passionate, and makes big demands on the star performers who rise to the occasion superbly. Chichester had already taken Charlie Stemp to its heart after his rise to fame and fortune in Rachel Kavanaugh’s Half a Sixpence six years ago, so it was no surprise that he received a star round of applause on his typically ebullient first entry on stage. Mr Stemp is a master (if not THE master) of song-and-dance on stage, and responds to Ms Stroman’s demands with all the brilliance you’d expect. But he is more than matched by a fantastic performance by Carly Anderson as Polly, who has a dream of a voice and wonderful comic timing, and together they are pretty much matchless.

There’s also an impressive physical comedy performance from Tom Edden (you’d expect nothing less from him) as Bela Zangler, Merryl Ansah is a delightfully tricky Irene, with a terrific surprise up her sleeve that comes later in the second act; Gay Soper is wonderful as Bobby’s frosty mother Lottie, and there’s excellent support from Mathew Craig as the grumpy Lank Hawkins, Don Gallagher as Polly’s living-in-the-past father Everett, and from Adrian Grove and Jacquie Dubois as the frightfully British Fodors, unexpectedly arrived to review Lank’s Hotel. The boys and girls of the ensemble are also fantastic,with many hilarious and endearing vignettes, as well as brilliant singing and dancing skills. Sadie-Jean Shirley, Kate Parr, Mark Akinfolarin and Joshua Nkemdilim in particular stand out, but everyone pours their hearts and souls into delivering a magnificent performance.

Like The Unfriend a few weeks ago, Chichester have come up with another tremendous triumph that is totally West End-ready. We went as part of a group of eight and every single one of us adored every minute of it. That’s got to be a good sign!

Five Alive, Let Theatre Thrive!

Review – Mary Poppins, Prince Edward Theatre, 30th November 2019

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When I heard that the musical of Mary Poppins was to be revived with Zizi Strallen and Charlie Stemp in the main roles, I knew it was a no-brainer that I had to book – even if the show is perhaps not entirely suited for a gentleman on the wrong side of 55 (the very wrong side). But I thought the undoubted magnificence and spectacle of the production, combined with what was bound to be at least two fantastic performances, would outweigh any concerns I had for actually enjoying the show as such. Was I right? But first – isn’t the Prince Edward a delightful theatre? This was only my third ever visit, and the first time since I took the young Miss Duncansby (as she was at the time) on a date to see Chess there in 1986. Où sont les neiges d’antan?

There are a few finicky little ways that Mary Poppins musical varies from Mary Poppins the film, and if you’re a Poppins Purist, they might get under your skin a little. It annoys me that Let’s Go Fly A Kite appears far too early in the show, and I don’t particularly like the changed lyrics to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius – I know, I need to get a life. For most people under the age of [enter whatever you think is a reasonable age here] these quibbles are of absolutely no consequence at all. But if it interferes with your nostalgia, then it can be quite a challenge for the older audience member. The musical also makes Mary Poppins a little bit more mysterious, a little more supernatural. In the film you take the fact that Mary and Bert have known each other in the past, and will look forward to some point when they meet again in the future, rather at face value. In the show, however, it feels like they’re enigmatic overlords from a different time space continuum crossing each other’s paths like wayward comets.

As you would expect from a lavish Cameron Mackintosh production, Mary Poppins (the show, as well as the character) looks gorgeous. From the front cloth that overspills to the sides of the auditorium, showing all the night-time windows of London, to the dolls house frontage of Cherry Tree Lane that opens out into the main rooms of the Banks residence, Bob Crowley’s design is immaculate, stunning, and takes your breath away. Graham Hurman’s twelve-piece orchestra, rather conventionally housed in a pit in front of the stage, throw themselves into those magical Sherman Brothers melodies with very pleasing enthusiasm. George Stiles’ and Anthony Drewe’s additional songs dovetail nicely into the originals, especially Mary Poppins’ prim Practically Perfect and Miss Andrew’s sadistic Brimstone and Treacle.

In the lead role, Zizi Strallen gives a stellar performance; she looks the part, she sings perfectly, and she brings to life Mary Poppins’ magical qualities of appearing from nowhere, knowing what you’re thinking, indulging in fun but having absolute rules that must be obeyed, and so on. There’s some nice onstage magic (literally), as when she continually takes large items out of her carpet bag; and when her powers overcome Miss Andrew so that the latter consumes her own brimstone and treacle, it’s a highly satisfying moment! Ms Strallen is mesmerising in the role. It’s also a delight to see Charlie Stemp back in a musical, as Bert the Sweep, leading some spectacular dance numbers, including the famous “dancing around the proscenium arch” act, which still looks great. And, of course, a huge cheer for the wonderful Petula Clark, still performing at the age of [let’s not mention it] as the Bird Woman.

It’s slick, it’s powerful, it’s spot-on with all its technical prowess, and it looks and sounds magnificent. So why did I feel strangely disconnected to it? Am I really now too old to enjoy this kind of show? I deeply hope not. But for me it lacked an edge, a bite; an element of true magic. When Ms Strallen sang “all around the cathedral the saints and apostles look down as she sells her wares….” the music didn’t emotionally swell and I didn’t get that lump in the throat I was expecting. And I know this is going to make me sound like a miserable old curmudgeon, but the child actors playing Jane and Michael were so incredibly efficient and accurate in their characterisations that they made them too unlikeable to get pleasure from their performances. Whilst I absolutely appreciated the strengths of the entire production, I was really shocked that it left me surprisingly cold. I’d been really looking forward to it, too! I disappoint myself!

I should add that there are some lovely supporting performances, for example Claire Moore is fantastic as the horrendous Miss Andrew, and I really enjoyed Amy Griffiths as the put-upon and unsure Mrs Banks. In any case, I’m sure this production is going to do great business for a long time to come, and if you’ve kids this is going to be a knock-out success for them. Don’t listen to a miserable git like me whose heart is obviously getting stonier by the day!

Review – Snow White, London Palladium, 29th December 2018

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It’s the third year that the tradition of the London Palladium panto has been revived, and I nabbed our tickets as early as I could. The last two Palladium pantos have been magnificent with their usual cast recidivists, Julian Clary, Paul Zerdin and Nigel Havers; topped up with Gary Wilmot and Charlie Stemp this year and last year, and a fresh baddie every year – first, Paul O’Grady, next Elaine Paige, and this year, Dawn French. As always, the production department has thrown everything at it – glamorous costumes, lively sets, a glorious orchestra, a superb supporting cast and a very funny script. Are you waiting for me to come up with a “but…..”?

No, there’s no buts. This is as exciting, hilarious and downright filthy as you might expect. I’m sure the majority of the children present – and there were surprisingly quite a few for a Saturday night – wouldn’t have understood one word that Julian Clary said; and if they did, then Social Services need a word with the parents. However, hidden within the concoction that is the panto Snow White, there were a few moments that would really appeal to kids: Paul Zerdin as Muddles, with his irrepressible puppet Sam, and Gary Wilmot’s Dame, as ever with a patter song, this time about all the stars that have ever appeared at the Palladium to the tune of I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General. Mr Wilmot had to stop the orchestra, actually, because he left a huge chunk of his list out! One sequence that took me back to my childhood was the appearance of the Palladium Pantaloons, four fast and funny acrobatic guys who took the roof off in the best Charlie Cairoli tradition.

Kids also like Strictly Come Dancing, and this panto has special guest appearances by Vincent Simone and Flavia Cacace. They perform two enchanting dances, the second of which is an Argentine Tango; it’s their speciality and you can’t take your eyes off them. They play the King and Queen but there’s no real attempt to integrate them into the rest of the plot; they’re just a couple of delightful interludes.

There’s also romance, in the form of the charming Danielle Hope as Snow White and the irresistible Charlie Stemp as Prince Harry of Hampstead. I’m sure I’m not risking any spoilers when I tell you that the two of them get married in the end, ahhh. That’s not before both of them have run the gamut of side-swipes from the waspish tongue of Mr Clary, of course. As last year, there were moments when Mr Stemp just couldn’t continue for laughing. His star quality shines through; and Mrs C and I can’t wait to see him in Mary Poppins later this year. And Ms Hope did a devilish thing during a slightly ham-fisted piece of comic business; she accidentally switched off the control button on the remote Sam, so when they were meant to be having a conversation together, Sam just sat there, like the dummy he is. One of the children brought on stage for a singalong at the end announced that that was their favourite moment of the show.

Even though they’re not mentioned in the title, Snow White does have her usual team of cohabitees at the house in the forest, here referred to as The Magnificent Seven. I can only presume it’s a copyright issue but none of them bear the same names as their counterparts in the original Disney film. Like, when did Happy become Cheery? Even Doc has now been upgraded to Prof; he must have been awarded an honorary degree somewhere. They are, of course, an ensemble all of their own, but I must say I do always enjoy seeing Craig Garner (Cheery) on stage; I still have very fond memories of his Tommy the Cat in Sheffield’s Dick Whittington a few years ago.

And of course, there’s Nigel. We know it’s Nigel because he has five big letters on stage around which he cavorts, just like Cilla did in her 1960s TV series. By the way, there’s precious little attempt for any of the performers to hide behind their character names. All the way through it’s Nigel, Dawn, Julian, Charlie etc on stage. This year’s ritual humiliation for Nigel is that he has finally been given a part – that of Julian Clary’s understudy. As you would expect, he doesn’t really come up trumps, but I do love how he allows the production to absolutely rip his credibility to shreds.

So how do the big guns get on in this panto? Julian Clary only has to suggest the whiff of an innuendo and the audience are at his feet. Over the last decade he has become the supreme pantomimier, if there were to be such a word (I’ve just invented it); the arch practitioner who appreciates the combination of apparent innocence and utter filth and understands exactly how far to take it for the best comic effect. He is, of course, supported by the most outrageous costumes imaginable, some of them totally ridiculous. They must weigh a ton, so I reckon he’s stronger than he looks. Dawn French’s Queen Dragonella is, from the start, Dawn French dressed as a regal bully, admitting she hasn’t yet mastered the necessary evil cackle. It’s wonderfully tongue-in-cheek all the way through, from her lascivious (and unsuccessful) chatting up of the Prince, to her final re-emergence as a much more familiar figure. She’s enormous fun (no joke intended) and her obvious lack of scariness is presented as a strength. “You don’t frighten me”, says Mr Clary as the Man in the Mirror, “last year I did eight shows a week with Elaine Paige”. Well, quite.

There are only a handful of seats left for the remaining performances so you’d better get in quick. It’s a feast for all the senses and guaranteed guffaws from start to finish. Can’t wait for next year’s panto!

P. S. Why do some people have to be so grouchy about letting people in and out of their seats during the interval? We were in the middle of Row G of the stalls and you’ve never met a more unhelpful bunch of surly selfish theatregoers. Beware – if you don’t try to let me through, I may end up stepping on your feet and I am heavy; your risk. Mrs C is much politer than me, but even she was forced to tell the unhelpful youth at the end of the row that she was literally stuck and that he’d have to stand up unless they were both going to stay there all night. Honestly, people, remember your theatre etiquette!

P. P. S. As we all know, the London Palladium is a theatre of the highest reputation and standing, not only throughout the UK but also the world. On a sold-out Saturday night, I can only imagine the bar takings – they must be tremendous; and that’s good news because all revenue helps keep our theatres alive. Having quaffed a delicious Chardonnay before the show, we returned to collect our pre-ordered interval Chardonnays halfway through. I took my first gulp and it tasted revolting. One look at the liquid and you could tell it was a much, much lighter colour than the wine in the other glass. Could it possibly be that a theatre with the reputation of the Palladium is watering down its wine? We took it to the barman, said it had been watered down and he didn’t deny it – in fact, he quickly and sheepishly replaced both glasses with fresh Chardonnay from the bottle. Buyer beware!

Review – Dick Whittington, London Palladium, 29th December 2017

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For the last evening of our Christmas London break we headed off to the glamour and excitement of the one and only London Palladium for this year’s pantomime, Dick Whittington. When panto returned to the Palladium last year for the first time in 29 years it was such a nostalgic and feelgood experience. Fortunately, it was also a box office smash and they soon advertised that is would be back this year. Oh yes it would.

The Palladium pantos were always a must-see for their top-of-their-career stars, the amazing sets, the lavish dancing and their full, brilliant orchestra. Last year they showed that they were returning to the same high standards, and this year they pretty much surpassed themselves. There were a few recidivists; Julian Clary, Paul Zerdin and Nigel Havers all returned, all largely playing the identical role they played last year. Paul Zerdin – this time in the guise of Idle Jack – even chose a couple out of the audience to join him on stage for precisely the same routine as last year, where they are made to wear ventriloquist masks around their mouths so that their words are pure Zerdin but their eyes are pure panic. But it’s a very funny act, why change it?!

Nigel Havers this time was Captain Nigel – come on, we all know the pivotal role of Captain Nigel in Dick Whittington….don’t we? – still desperate for a decent scene, still the butt of nearly everyone else’s jokes. There was a very sweet moment when one of the four kids that Paul Zerdin got up on stage at the end of the show to sing Old Macdonald announced that his favourite performer of the evening had been Nigel. You’ve never seen a slightly maturing, thoroughly well-respected actor look quite so flippin’ delighted.Julian Clary, fresh from his success as last year’s Dandini, returns as the Spirit of the Bells, make of that what you wish, punters. As you can imagine, gentle reader, in this particular pantomime, there was a lot of Dick. As usual, Mr Clary lets no innuendo escape unexpressed, nor does he hold back from teasing a corpse moment out of every other member of the cast. The rough, tough one out of Diversity was visibly shaking with barely suppressed guffaws as Mr C delivered him an unexpected double entendre.

Talking of whom, Ashley Banjo and Diversity appeared as the Sultan and his advisors, in a number of set dance pieces which, whilst not completely integrating with the show as a whole, carried on the old Palladium panto tradition of lively dance and comedy pratfalls. I looked on Diversity as the modern day equivalent of Charlie Cairoli and his clowns, who used to have me in hysterics as a lad. Diversity sure have a great stage impact, and all their contributions were very enjoyable.

This year’s other new blood were all pretty darn magnificent. Charlie Stemp and Emma Williams were reunited on stage after their superb performances in Half A Sixpence (still sadly missed) as Dick Whittington and Alice Fitzwarren. Mr Stemp in particular continued to show what a brilliant find he is. He exudes a natural happiness on stage that is irresistible – and there were plenty of references to his past and future performances; a song with the Dame had the title Flash Bang Wallop, What a Sweetshop (I wonder where they got that from) and Mr Clary gave him a huge plug for his appearance on Broadway next year. Oh, and there’s another innuendo for you.

Gary Wilmot was a brilliant Dame – this time the standard Sarah The Cook becomes Sarah Fitzwarren. You can just tell how much Mr Wilmot absolutely adores doing this kind of thing; and his tube station patter song was a true pièce de résistance! Messrs Clary, Zerdin, Havers, Wilmot and Stemp gave us a tremendously anarchic performance of the Twelve Days of Christmas that involved Mr C hurling toilet rolls at the audience – not entirely sure that was meant to happen – and everyone stumbling over each other to get through the number unharmed, which they just about managed. A classic Palladium panto routine, performed to brilliant effect.

And I’ve left the best to last! I have nothing but huge respect for the way Elaine Paige as Queen Rat allowed herself to be sent up something rotten. Her singing parodies of her best-known songs, including forgetting the words to Memory, were simply hilarious. And what was even more enjoyable was that her voice is still astounding. When she delivered her first big number, the chills down my spine were out of this world! It made me want to dig out my old EP albums. (Don’t judge me.)

Extremely funny, glamorous and professional, this is just a wonderful way to celebrate the Christmas season on stage. Amazingly, there were even a few children in the Friday evening audience. Can’t think what they got out of it! This is simply an opportunity for you to go out, have a great laugh, see some fabulous routines and just be a child again. Want to be the first to hear about next Christmas’s Palladium panto? Click here!

Review – Half a Sixpence – revisited – on its last night – Noel Coward Theatre, 2nd September 2017

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Last Christmas (no, this isn’t a George Michael tribute, but God bless him nonetheless) we saw Half a Sixpence as part of our usual let’s spend a few December nights in London seeing shows because we never go out ritual. Here’s the link to my blog review of that great night. We felt totally exhilarated by the end in the knowledge that we’d not only seen a great show but also a fantastic new star in the shape of Charlie Stemp.

Every so often, I get visited by Avenue Q’s Bad Idea Bears – I’m sure they call on you too – and they tempt me with things I really shouldn’t do. But earlier this summer, they suggested I book for the last night of Half A Sixpence. It’s going to be a great party, they said. Sounds like an excuse for champagne, they said. The atmosphere will be overwhelming, they said. And do you know, they were right! But would Mrs Chrisparkle be on board for such self-indulgence? You betcha!

We’d seen An American in Paris in the afternoon, so, fully satiated with well-meaning, classy yet slightly dull entertainment, we were absolutely in the mood for a right royal Folkestone knees up. We arrived at the New, I mean Albery, I mean Noel Coward theatre in plenty of time to settle down in Noel’s Bar and crack open a half bottle of Verve Cliquot before the show, which, I think it’s fair to say, prepared us in the best possible way. I bought another programme, so I could see to what extent the cast had changed since last December: answer, not at all. Absolutely the same cast. No one had left. That tells its own story. It must be such a delightful production in which to be involved.

The theatre was packed – the vibe was truly excitable; this audience is going to give the show its best possible send-off, isn’t it? Oh yes it did. From the moment that Mr Stemp and Devon-Elise Johnson ran into the auditorium and jumped up on the stage to portray Arthur and Ann as kids, the theatre simply erupted. This is going to overrun by at least half an hour, I reckoned. Actually, I was wrong; the cast enforced discipline on us by carrying on pretty promptly after each song – not like when we saw the last night of A Chorus Line, where the audience dominated the proceedings so much with their gratitude and fandom that the cast couldn’t hold back their emotions at all.

As each scene and number followed each other, the audience kept up their frenzied response. By the time we’d reached the interval, with Charlie Stemp’s Kipps drenched under the real rain, I genuinely felt like I needed a rest, as my mouth muscles were beginning to spasm from my permanent smile. Whilst stretching our legs (a euphemism for heading to the bar), we overheard one lady say to another “You must come and meet Cameron. In the Albery Bar. Upstairs.” We looked at each other with mischievous intent; shall we gatecrash? No, quickly coming to our senses, let’s not risk being turfed out on our ear. We hadn’t heard Pick out a Simple Tune yet.

Now that I’ve mentioned that song title, if you’ve seen the show, that tune has already earwormed itself back into your brain. That scene was as fantastic as I remembered. After its rip-roaring reception from the audience, it put a whole new meaning on Lady Punnet’s assurance that you can’t have more fun than at one of her musical evenings. I’d also forgotten how wonderfully pompous Gerald Carey’s James is when he’s being sonorous on the organ, tossing back his foppish hair, and checking to make sure everyone else has noticed how superb he was. Mr Carey came into his own again as the photographer in Flash, Bang, Wallop, revelling in every single double entendre magnificently. FBW brought the house down as you would expect.

It was only at the end that the cast started to drop the professional façade and showed us how much they loved the response. Mr Stemp wasn’t allowed to join the other members of the cast for the joint curtain call until we had elongated his personal ovation for several minutes. Cameron Mackintosh appeared on stage to give a final thank you speech and it was a thoroughly joyful experience. He said he hoped it wasn’t the end for this production – and I don’t see how it can be. This is born to tour and continue to delight audiences of all ages for years to come. A magnificent success for Cameron Mackintosh, Chichester, Charlie Stemp and all the cast. But we still didn’t find out about the results of their filming the show over some of the last performances. Will it appear on BBC4 over Christmas like Gypsy did a couple of years ago? I’m really hoping so.

Congratulations to all. Half a Sixpence, London will miss you!

Review – Half A Sixpence, Noel Coward Theatre, 29th December 2016

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One of the albums from my childhood was the Dowager Mrs Chrisparkle’s Music for Pleasure record of Des O’Connor singing songs from Half a Sixpence, the 1963 musical by David Heneker and Beverley Cross, originally written for Tommy Steele. Despite – rather than because of – this recording, I’d always wanted to see the show, and we finally got the opportunity back in 2007 when we saw Gary Wilmot as Arthur Kipps in Bill Kenwright’s production at the Birmingham Hippodrome. I remember thinking at the time that the show itself was quite tame, but that it was an excellent production and I couldn’t imagine anyone better in the cheeky chappie main role than the irrepressible and brilliant song and dance man Mr Wilmot.

Things change, then change again. Fast forward nine years, and, remembering its rather mundane plot, when we made our selections from this summer’s Chichester Festival offering, neither of us particularly wanted to see this new production. Honestly, have we not learned our lesson? Over the past few years we’ve seen cracking good shows like Gypsy, Guys and Dolls, Mack and Mabel and Kiss Me Kate, so why wouldn’t the new Half a Sixpence – now transferred to the West End – be up there with the greats? (Spoiler – it is.)

To be honest, I still find the show itself a little underwhelming, with its somewhat dated subject matter of comedy juxtaposition between the upper and the working class, and its message that you should always marry someone of your own kind. However, Julian Fellowes’ new book and some new songs by George Stiles and Anthony Drewe have given it a well-deserved kick up the backside and created a much more entertaining and better structured show. I think one of the problems with the original version is the relative dearth of musical numbers in comparison with the length of the show. Today your average musical-goer simply expects more – a legacy of the Lloyd Webber approach, where, after curtain up, the orchestra basically never stops till going home time. I must agree with other comments I’ve read though that it is an enormous shame that they chose to do away with the original song All In The Cause of Economy, which a) is a great tune, b) is a very funny lyric and c) perfectly encapsulates the horrendous relationship between the bullying Mr Shelford and his poor troupe of resident drapers. Another problem with the original show is that, as it was specifically fashioned around the amazing talents of Tommy Steele, it’s perhaps just a little too Kippscentric. The new structure, however, is much more balanced – even though, when you look at the list of musical numbers in the programme, of the 22 songs listed, only 2 don’t feature Kipps as one of the singers. He’s at the heart of the original book so it’s no surprise he’s also the heart of the musical.

As I’m sure you know, it’s based on H G Wells’ 1905 novel Kipps: The Story of a Simple Soul, which I confess I haven’t read but apparently was Wells’ personal favourite of all the books he wrote. Young Arthur and young Ann share a special friendship, but when Arthur has to move away, they each keep half a sixpence as a token of their young love. When working in the drapery shop he is smitten with the delightful Helen Walsingham, but she is high born and, surely, too far above him to care. But Arthur unexpectedly inherits a great legacy and an annual income of £1200, and can thus transform himself from commoner to toff in one fell swoop. His relationship with Helen blossoms, but then it turns out that Ann (remember her?) is the Walsingham family parlourmaid… And if you don’t know how all that resolves itself, you’ll have to see the show!

No doubt about it, this truly is a fantastic production. Stunning to look at, amazing sets, perfect costumes, a brilliant band and a large cast of superbly talented performers. As a piece of theatrical confectionary, it is the sweetest, tastiest, zingiest show I’ve seen for some time. Andrew Wright’s choreography, particularly in the big set pieces, is overwhelmingly, in-your-face ebullient, and gives you that great to be alive feel that musical theatre can sometimes achieve. Even if you don’t take into account the performances, the visual impact of the staging of the new song Pick out a Simple Tune and the perennial old favourite Flash Bang Wallop are among the most exhilarating experiences on stage at the moment; and the “real rain” in If The Rain’s Got To Fall helps give a charming sense of pathos and drama to the end of the first act.

There’s been a lot of hype about Charlie Stemp, who plays Kipps, a performer plucked from relative obscurity – his programme bio reveals just an international tour of Mamma Mia and ensemble in Wicked. Well, believe it. This is one of those toe-curlingly delightful occasions when you can say “I was there” – I genuinely believe that, with this performance in this production, a star is born. He is the natural successor to the young Michael Crawford, with his engaging stage presence, superb voice and extraordinary dance ability. Hardly off the stage for the entire performance, he invests Kipps with an exuberance that really pushes out into the auditorium. The fact that he is new on the scene is perfect for the role as it reflects the character’s own fish out of water situation – an unknown person in an unknown environment. The production, however, knows he is a winner, subtly (or not so subtly?) lighting him just a little more strongly than everyone else in the ensemble pieces. I had no hesitation in giving him the standing ovation he totally deserved.

But this is no one-man show. He’s surrounded by a fabulous cast, our personal favourite being the wonderful Devon-Elise Johnson as Ann, nobly and touchingly handing over the object of her love to her mistress. Ms Johnson is also spellbinding in the big song and dance numbers and is the perfect energy counterpart to Mr Stemp. I also really liked Emma Williams’ Helen, a classy, elegant performance that reveals the bravery of her character’s ability to climb out of her social class and become entwined with Mr Kipps. Jane How exudes delightful superiority as the sumptuous Lady Punnet, who really believes her musical evenings are the most fun you can have, and who has a brilliant twinkle in her eye whenever she speaks to Arthur; and there’s an enormously fun performance from Vivien Parry as Mrs Walsingham, her eye on the financial prize, never quite becoming the horrendous mother in law from hell, but not far off.

Ian Bartholomew’s Chitterlow is a wonderfully larger than life creation, with more than a touch of Dickens’ Vincent Crummles about him; one of those few characters who is nothing but decent through and through. Mr Bartholomew brings out the humour of his songs – notably Back The Right Horse and The One Who’s Run Away – with great style. John Conroy, always masterful in authoritarian roles, is chillingly unpleasant as Mr Shalford, and Gerard Carey is splendidly slimy as the villainous James Walsingham and genuinely funny as the camp photographer, even if the characterisation is a little more 1963 than 2016. However, all the cast give terrific support and the physical commitment to the performance from one and all is just magnificent.

An absolute treat from start to finish, we left the theatre beaming from ear to ear. You simply have to see this one!

P. S. A couple of unfortunate examples of bad theatre etiquette couldn’t erase what a wonderful show it was. But why must people be so grumpy and unhelpful when it comes to letting others past to get to their seats? It’s bad enough anyway in the New, I mean Albery, I mean Noel Coward theatre where the front stalls are as tight as a [insert rude simile here] without having to make special negotiations and pleadings to get past. There was also a mother and daughter who constantly nattered all the way through the first act. They were just out of reach for me to tell them to shut it, but maybe someone else did because they behaved like proper theatregoers after the interval. Honestly, some people!