391. Last of the Red Hot Lovers – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 27^th January 2000

There was a time when all you had to do was wait a couple of months and a new Tom Conti production would come around. The man was never shy of work, that’s for sure. He led the cast in this production (which he also directed) of Neil Simon’s 1969 comedy that ran for almost two years on Broadway but by 2000 had started to creak at the edges. Very much a family project, with Tom Conti’s wife Kara Wilson and daughter Nina Conti also in the cast. Maybe it was that family cosiness that meant the production lacked a certain bite.

392. Without Trace – Vtol Dance Company at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 15^th February 2000

VTol returned to the Swan for another Swan Dance season performance, Mark Murphy’s Without Trace which told the tale of Beth, who “for no good reason, simply decides to disappear” and it’s described as a “hitch-hike into an unknown country of self-discovery.” I confess I can’t remember much about it, but VTol were always good value for some intriguing and thought-provoking contemporary dance. The performers were Graham Cunnington, Christine Devaney, Anne Gilpin, James Hewison, Joanna Holden, Robert “Hacker” Jessett, Ben Joiner, Eric MacLennan and Will Sneyd.

393. West Side Story – Milton Keynes Theatre, 26^th February 2000

There’s something about West Side Story that neither Mrs Chrisparkle nor I get. It wasn’t helped by the fact that we only had seats in Row G of the circle, which at the Milton Keynes Theatre is like being in another county. I remember we both found this extremely boring, and, given that I had to be up early the next day to go to a conference in Torquay, we decided that leaving at the interval would be a good thing, so we did. I don’t recognise any of the cast names, but I do see that the assistant director/choreographer was Craig Revel Horwood, and I know from more recent experience that his choreography and my expectations don’t always crossover.

394. Gasping – Milton Keynes Theatre, 7^th March 2000

I don’t think our luck continued much for our next show at Milton Keynes, Ben Elton’s Gasping, which had enjoyed a successful run in London in the early 1990s. A satire on capitalism and commoditisation, my memory is that it was too “clever-clever” and not quite funny enough. However, my memory could be failing me. David Haig led the cast, and it was directed by Paul Jepson.

395. Great Expectations – Northern Ballet Theatre at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 11^th March 2000

Artistic Director Stefano Giannetti’s stunning visualisation of Dickens’ Great Expectations as a ballet was a vivid and exciting piece of dance, set to music by Elgar. The cast was led by Daniel de Andrade as Pip and Charlotte Broom, with a young and much missed Jonathan Ollivier as Drummle.

396. The Merry Widow – The Australian Ballet at the Sydney Opera House, Australia, 11^th April 2000

We travelled to Sydney for my brother-in-law’s wedding, and whilst there we took in the Australian Ballet’s production of Lehar’s Merry Widow at the Opera House, with choreography by Ronald Hynd and scenario and staging by Robert Helpmann. Whilst this production had its first performance way back in 1975, ours was the first performance of that spring (or rather, as it was Australia, autumn) season. The lead dancers for our performance were Lisa Bolte, Miranda Coney, Steven Heathcote, David McAllister, Nicole Rhodes and Justine Summers.

397. The Car Man – Adventures in Motion Pictures at the Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 23^rd June 2000

This was the 34^th performance of Matthew Bourne’s enduringly popular contemporary dance version of Carmen, with a superb company led by Scott Ambler, Saranne Curtin, Etta Murfitt, Arthur Pita and Ewan Wardrop. Absolutely brilliant. I’ve still only ever seen this once, that needs to be rectified!

398. Spend Spend Spend – Piccadilly Theatre, London, 8^th July 2000

We caught this production of Steve Brown and Justin Greene’s brilliant musical shortly before it closed and I’m so glad we did. Full of brilliant songs, characterisations and performances, it starred Barbara Dickson as Viv Nicholson and Steven Houghton as Keith, and with other great names in the cast such as Rachel Leskovac and Jeff Shankley. Fortunately we bought a copy of the CD at the theatre because it’s never been available anywhere else since. Definitely deserving of a revival!

399. Dinner with George – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 17^th July 2000

The Churchill Theatre Bromley launched this touring production of Guy Hemphill and Bryan Hands’ comedy Dinner with George, an old-fashioned farce that shook no trees and I can’t remember a thing about it. However, I can tell from the photographs and the programme design that it probably wasn’t as funny as it thought it was. It starred Peter Baldwin (Derek Wilton in Coronation Street) and Marti Webb.

400. Why Me? – Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, 4^th September 2000

Research tells me that this comedy by Stanley Price “follows the life of redundant civil servant John, a bitter recipient of a ‘tarnished chrome handshake’. John struggles to keep his dignity and sanity in the face of his wife’s successful business, an adulterous affair, the incipient break-up of his marriage and regular visits from his mother-in-law.” It starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, Susan Penhaligon and Carmen Silvera. The only thing I can remember about it is that we saw Tim Brooke-Taylor in the theatre bar afterwards.